


Star Dust and Ocean Waves

by LadyEquinox, meikahidenori



Series: Thunderbirds Are Go Smut - 18+ archive [13]
Category: thunderbirds are go
Genre: M/M, R18+, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-12-25 23:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 47,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12046518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEquinox/pseuds/LadyEquinox, https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikahidenori/pseuds/meikahidenori
Summary: Written with @Lady_Equinox (on going being written and still trying to get her an invite to A03 as she has some amazing stories!)WARNING: contains drug abuse, brother/brother incest and graphic sexual situations.Any images contained in this fiction are by @meikahidenori and if you are interested you can contact and follow me via twitter or on Deviant art under the same name. warning though, my twitter contains NSFW content. please don't reupload these anywhere without my EXPRESSED permission as some are NSFW (even if they're tame compared to my twitter feed)this fiction title inspired the name for my R18+ GxJ only folder.





	1. Out with the old

[](https://imgur.com/lV05cxv)  
[](https://imgur.com/oFhUUJD)  
[](https://imgur.com/CbktidY)  
John lay on his bed and cuddled his pillow. This was the fourth time this month he was down from space and the fourth time Scott had passed him off. John wondered if he was being punished for working so hard but all of them had been running themselves down so maybe he was just tired?

He needed some affection but clearly wasn’t going to get any warm hugs tonight.

Since he was fifteen, he and Scott had both gone through that awkward ‘puberty phase’ of self discovery together and had slowly taken things further than just sitting in a room together with dirty magazines and were now, seven years later in a pretty steady relationship.

At least, John assumed they still were.

They kept it a secret and had gotten very good at keeping quiet and sneaking around John began to wonder lately that maybe Scott was no longer finding any fun in it.

He really loved Scott and hoped that wasn’t the case… not yet at least. The day would come where his brother would move on with a real lover, hopefully not just yet.

He nuzzled his pillow and smiled in the comfort that his bed sheets still smelled strongly of his brother despite the lack of attention he had gotten this month...his hands ran along the soft feathery down as if he was stroking his brother lovingly along his well defined sherry glass shaped body... 

Surly if Scott had moved on he would tell him, right?

 

John sat in the kitchen alone watching the night sky. Grandma and Brains had got tired of waiting around for his brother's to come home after another long mission and had gone off to do other things, leaving him like a loose bit of string with no one to talk to. 

He swore it was getting worse. Not even Alan spoke to him anymore.

Scott had been brushing him aside for two months now, every time he tried to even show any affection or initiate any basic level of contact he was pushed away, followed by ‘Not now, John.”

Had he done something he wasn't aware of?

He perked up at the sound of voices coming from upstairs started coming down the stairwell, the first real sign of life in the house for hours.

“Oh hey, you're home?”

Alan looked surprised as Gordon’s voice sounded when they saw John look up in their direction.

“Uh… of course I am. I live here too. How come you're so late? You were all in Thunderbird two so you couldn't have had any reason to not get here before I touched down….” his voice trailed off when he realised neither younger brother stopped to listen, Alan immediately raiding the pantry and Gordon drinking out of the milk carton from the fridge. John looked at the beer bottle in his hand and sighed, pushing it away.

“Never mind, Just act like I'm not here and maybe I will go away soon.” he mumbled, standing up to leave. “Not like I wanted any company.”

“Hey,” Gordon piped up. “You ok?”

John sighed. “Would you care if is was?”

“Probably not.” Gordon sat down at the table and put one of his feet up on it. “You missed an awesome dinner by the way and some really juicy news.” 

“News?”

Gordon sat up and leaned on the table. “Scott and Virgil are an item. It's super wrong but hey, not going to question it.”

“It's super gross.” Alan added his two cents.

“Scott and Virgil?”

“Yeah, for at LEAST a few months by the look of it. Now we all know I’m sure they're going to be pretty public with it.” Gordon snorted. “Bad enough Alan and Kayo have public displays of affection around here.”

Alan poked out his tongue. “Like you can talk.”

John just stood there, his head failing to process the new information.

“Scott and Virgil….”

“Uh yeah… I said that already. You’re like Alan over there, unable to grasp the idea of incest?”

“Over two months?”

Gordon frowned. “Are you sure you're ok Johnny?”

“Huh? Yeah fine, t-totally”

“Only you look pale…”

“I just drank too much, ok Gordon? Give me a few minutes.”

“After one beer? Gee John you really ARE unwell.”

John rubbed his face. “I’m just tired. If you see them tell them.. Good for them from me ok?”

“Sure, whatever Johnny.”

John headed up stairs for the living room to escape further conversation in regards to why he had been shafted however he ran right into Scott and Virgil, who were only just entering the living room from the direction of the hanger bays which meant his escape towards his own bedroom was completely cut off.

Just looking at the two of them, he could see why Scott would have gone for Virgil over him. For a start, his brother was younger and far more handsome, never looking run down or overworked and had the damn muscles and strength of several oxen…. And a personality of the gentlest of creatures to balance it out.

The complete package, something John clearly wasn’t.

“Oh hey John!” Virgil smiled excitedly. “You going to join us for a few beers?”

John rubbed the back of his head and answered politely, “Maybe some other night Virgil, I’m about to call it a night.”

“Aww ok you owe me a night where we talk over a few beers ok? I have so much stuff I need to catch up on with you.” Virgil slapped him playfully on the shoulder, which was like being clipped by a truck but John only managed to stay standing by sheer willpower to not disappoint his younger brother by showing any sign of weakness.

“Er.. Evening John.” Scott shuffled his feet. 

“So… Virgil huh?”

“Yeah.”

“No more us then?”

“No more us.”

“But I thought -”

Scott sighed. He avoided talking to John because he knew no matter what this was going to end badly.

“John… it’s been fun but things change. You’re hardly around much to spend time with for a start and when things do go badly you're not here to tend to injuries and just stuff like that. Think we need to face the fact that it just wasn’t going to work anymore.” he leaned in and kissed John on the cheek before saying softly, “It’s over.” before following after Virgil into the kitchen.

John wrapped his arms around himself, shaking as Scott’s words sank in, everyone of them a hard truth that he couldn't argue with.

Seven years just gone…..swept under the carpet.


	2. Cracks in the armour

“Hey you guys seen John? He’s not up on Thunderbird Five and he’s not anywhere inside the house.” Gordon asked his brother’s who were all sprawled out over the couches, Alan with Kayo’s head asleep in his lap and Scott cuddling into Virgil.

“Tried the pool?” Alan suggested.

Gordon shook his head. “I’d have seen him from the kitchen.”

“He might be down in the gym Gordon.” Virgil suggested. “I’ve noticed him venting out down there alot more than usual.”

“Thanks, will look now.”

Down in the gymnasium that was built under the house, Gordon hoped he would find his brother. What he had not expect was two people, one watching the other.

Grandma Tracy was walking around the edge of the large Judo mat that was on the floor that Scott and Virgil used occasionally to kickbox with each other on, blowing into a whistle every now and again, the sound filling the gym with shrill acoustics.

Gordon made his way over to the bench press and tried not to be noticed. He didn’t want to be a distraction to John who seemed really bent on concentration on the middle of the mat.

Only Gordon was the professional Olympian. His brothers usually took sports into the equation as exercise and means to stay fit for rescues… with one exception. If it wasn’t for him, Gordon wouldn’t have ever competed in his first and only Olympic games.

Gordon remembered never being able to find a coach to train him seriously for competitive sport. They all assumed being the son of a rich man meant he could buy his way in anywhere with minimum effort and Gordon hated that mentality with a passion. He believed in fairness and hard work and was willing to put in all the hours and training necessary to get it.

Luckily, he had a sibling who agreed and was willing to help try and make that a reality.

He slid a few weights on and sat down, before pulling a few gentle warm up crunches on the press. Occasionally he’d glance up and look at the few mirrors scattered along the wall and watched his Grandmother walk around the mat, picking out posture, shape and form and then patting his brother on the back when she decided he had done enough. There seemed to be a little bit of talking before she decided to leave and head back upstairs, but not before handing over a water bottle and shaking her head as his brother ungracefully flopped onto the floor and just stared at the ceiling.

Gordon pulled a few more weights before stopping yet again, this time to watch his brother on the mat who was now standing and applying dust to his hands.

Gordon didn’t know what the moves were called, other than they were more or less a fancy cartwheel and a somersault and his brother pulled them off without any hesitation or stumble. Then there was the one arm handstand. Sure, he’d seen Virgil do something like it before, usually to show off that he could support his bodyweight on one hand - but in John’s case it was something done because it helped balance and the center of his own gravity. It wasn’t messy and half arsed either. The pose was perfect, the other arm out straight to hold that balance steady and keep his whole body straight and upright.

“Are you really down here to waste energy Gordon or are you just here to watch?”

Gordon blinked and went red with embarrassment. That was John for you, the guy had super sharp hearing that Gordon swore was not human.

“Well I was here for the latter… but watching you is far more interesting.” Gordon admitted with a silly smile. “How do you do that by the way? Usually I fall on my face and I’ve got strong arm muscles.”

Carefully John placed his other hand on the ground and gently placed his feet back on the ground, the movement graceful and very flexible. “Well come over here and I’ll show you. Just don’t try showing off with it… or you will land arse over face.” as Gordon walked over John whistled sharply making him stop.

“Shoes. You’ll need to be in bare feet, otherwise you won’t be able to retain any balance.”

“Oh, ok.” Gordon slipped off his shoes and socks. “How big a difference does it make?”

“A lot believe me.” 

Once Gordon was on the mat John powdered up his brother’s hands so they wouldn’t slip. “Right, don’t expect it to be perfect and up on your arms long first go, but I will grab you if you look like you're going to fall and hurt yourself. Don’t want you to break a wrist or anything.”

“Ok, so how do I get started?”

“Hand stand.”

“What? I can’t do that!”

“Yes you can.” John walked around in front of Gordon, then calculated how far he needed to step back. “Aim for me as you go, and I’ll help you the rest of the way.”

“Alright… here goes.” Gordon tried to get up on his hand, pushing all his weight into getting the momentum to get his legs off the ground. He expected to fall back down right away, but John, true to his word had caught them. 

“Spread out your hands and your arms a little to support your weight, otherwise your wobbling will make you topple.”

Gordon shifted his hands around, trying not to lift them off the ground incase lifting one of them made him collapse onto the floor all together. John tapped one of his arms with his toes to get Gordon to shift it a little more and then he realised he wasn’t so shaky anymore. 

“Focus on staying straight, don’t arch your back or bend your legs. It’s hard not to, but try pointing your toes skywards, it will really help.” John held his younger brother’s legs together carefully making sure they were straight.

“I think I can feel the blood going straight to my head!”

“Yeah it’ll do that.”

“So..” Gordon felt this was a good a time as any. “You’ve been really shirking duties lately. Is this to do with what I told you about Scott and Virgil?”

John let go of his legs and let Gordon fall harshly onto the mat. “You came down here to talk to me about that!” He growled.

“Well yeah kinda of, Look you’ve been acting really weird - MORE than usual and that’s saying something for YOU John.”

“I just… I just want them to be happy, that’s all.”

“Are you sure that’s just it?” Gordon raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. They’re better left to be happy…. They don’t really need me around to tell them that to their faces every day, surly?”

“You know, the way you just said that makes it HARD to believe you really think that. If you have a problem with it you can just say so, I don’t think they’re going to be offended, Hell they KNOW it’s wrong but don’t give a shit so are flaunting it like there’s no tomorrow.” Gordon smirked. “Johnny has a thing against Homos does he?” he teased.

“THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!” John snapped loudly so his voice bounced off and echoed around the gym, stunning both of them into silence. He realised what he had done and tried to make a run for it, but Gordon was fast off the mat and grabbed him by the wrist.

“What do you mean ‘That should have been you’? You got feelings for Virgil too huh? Did Scott get in first?” he spun his taller sibling around and his expression was more confused by the hurt John couldn’t seem to hide.

“Are you friggin’ serious? OH MY GOD my older brothers are all GAY FOR EACH OTHER! This is WAY TOO MUCH!” he laughed.

“Let me go Gordon, for the love of -”

“HA! NO way, not until you tell me how deep into this you are! I am genuinely curious as to why you guys are so desperate to get into each other’s pants as if to by pass having any REAL relationships with other people!”

“It’s not like that, Gordon! It’s complicated!”

“Yeah I bet it is, so tell me… WHY?”

“Why should I?” John yanked his arm hard to try and get free of Gordon’s grip. His younger brother was starting to hurt him. “All you’ll do it throw it in my face and call me a damn sicko!”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Yeah sure, like I’m supposed to believe you!”

Gordon rolled his eyes and let go. “Alright so you have no reason to trust me… but at least tell me why you are all….”

“I don’t know about Virgil but I guess he feels the same way about Scott that I do… or did - Look I can’t really-” John grabbed his head with both hands and Gordon could see him digging his fingers into his hair in frustration. “It’s complicated.”

“Well you’re not missing much.” Gordon smiled softly. “They’re utter mush, just like Alan and Kayo are. It’s not natural to see Scott so….love sick. Virgil is turning him into a over emotional goofball and they have their hands all over each other any chance they get when they think they’re alone, but you know how it is, you’re never truly alone in this house, SOMEONE is always watching you.” Gordon chuckled. “If anything I think you dodged a bullet there, you’re too much of a blank wall when it comes to emotions sometimes you couldn’t imagine Scott not picking fights with you over something so petty as that.”

“Blank wall? You think I’m emotionally hollow?!”

“Well no - ok sometimes you are. It’s impossible to tell when you're happy to be fair to you.”

“Do you think - Do you think that’s why….” John sat down on the mat. He tried to tried to think of any one moment he didn’t tell Scott how he felt and couldn’t come up with any. Hard to have sex with someone since you were a teenager and not show any emotion of love towards them.

Then again...their relationship was secret. Virgil’s public and in the open with Scott which means EVERYONE can see how much they love each other.

“Yeah sorry about that John, but it’s true. We all think you have the emotions of a tree stump and the personality of damp bread, Heck even Scott has said sometimes talking you is like talking to a brick wall with the emotional output of a machine.”

“H-He did?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“I would have told him I loved him everyday if he asked me… if he wanted….oh fuck it really IS my fault he left me for someone else!”

Gordon looked surprised. “What do you mean ‘Left you?’” then it dawned and his mouth made a big ‘O’ shape in understanding. “So let me get this straight… YOU really WERE involved with Scott?”

“What do you think, Genius?” John snapped. “Why couldn’t he just tell me he wasn’t in love with me any more instead of just leaving me hanging for two months! I thought he was avoiding me because he was overworked but now….everything he said made sense.”

“Like what?” Gordon asked out of curiosity. If John was about to break down and spill his guts he wanted to make sure he understood exactly why the man of stone had crumbled. He had never seen so much emotion come from him before - granted he never really spent time with John other than the obvious - and was finding himself feeling guilty for calling him ‘hollow’ when such a deeply confused mess was playing out before him.

“I’m not around enough anymore. I’m never there when he really needs me to be. To him I probably just float in and out as if he didn’t matter - but he does… he matters so damn much…the only reason I work so hard is to make his life easier and I thought that was helpful. I guess that was wrong and I should have been around here more. I don’t know what I did wrong but that has to be it as after seven years of respecting him and how much he wanted things to remain a secret to find out he thought I didn’t love him really… really-”

Gordon sat beside his brother as his voice started to break, along with the flood of tears.

“The only thing that kept me going, kept me working all alone up there was knowing that at least one person here at home still loved me, wanted me to be around...such a fool am I for thinking that after so long that he wouldn’t get bored of me, wouldn’t have wanted to wait….as he needed things I couldn’t give him. I can’t believe that I could be such a crappy lover…..”

“Do you still love him?”

“After this? Maybe…. I don’t know anymore. I can’t just sweep all that time I could have been a better brother to everyone else away. I really did think he’d damn tell me though… that… that was gutless.” John sighed. “What do I do now? I can't hang around here anymore but I know I won't be able to function back on Five, at least for a few days.” 

“Well.. I'm no expert but I do think you need some time off to get your head sorted out. Avoiding Scott and Virgil being all in your face though…”

“I can cope with that.”

“Really?” 

“No, but can you think of an alternative?”

Gordon shook his head. “So… you and Scotty…damn why couldn't I have seen THAT happening? I mean PFFT! I know EVERYTHING around here.”

“Gordon, how often do you speak to me?”

“Besides right now and missions?” Gordon hesitated. “Hardly ever.”

“And how often do you talk to Scott?”

“About the same amount. Shit no WONDER it stayed a secret between you two!”

John forced himself to smile a little. “Yeah, I guess we were ‘too good’. Not displaying how we felt about each other unless it was behind closed doors….” the smile faded. “Sorry Gordon, you don't need me to tell you I'm as ‘sick’ as those two.”

John got up and dusted himself off, mild emotional shut down temporarily forgotten as he helped his sibling off the floor. “Thank you, by the way for pretending to care for a short while.”

“Pretending?” Gordon snorted. “Want to know something John? It's really rare for you to open up to anyone - let alone me. As much as I don't care about your sex life...I do worry about you sometimes and this….this has me pretty concerned, even if I find it a little hard to hear or understand.”

Gordon gave his older brother's hand a squeeze. “If you need to talk, I'm here.”

“Heh… thanks Gordon.”

“Don’t mention it. Kinda wish you'd talk to us more than that AI companion of yours.”

“EOS doesn't talk much to me anymore, just like you guys. If I'm boring enough a computer tires of my company then I really deserve to be sitting alone in the kitchen like the other night.”

Gordon smiled and patted his sibling on the back and hesitated, unsure after finding out that he and Scott had been sleeping together in secret if John would be ok with him touching him or not. “Well maybe we should try and fix that. I’m sure you're still fun, I'll just make more of an effort!”


	3. Song for the Dumped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is a reference to one of my fave Ben Folds songs - Meika :D

John tossed and turned in bed. It was hard to accept that Scott was in the arms of someone else. He had no idea either how long it had been for either, it could have been a few days, a week, a year….he only drifted in and out or Scott’s physical life a few times a month since their dad vanished as he thought he was doing him a favour by lightening the workload. He knew he was around less but still….

It was a struggle. He needed physical contact - just a hug would do - but there was no one he could ask. 

He had paced the hallway and kept peeking in Scott's room hoping as if by some magic his older brother would be lying there alone waiting for him to crawl in under the dooner for cuddles….but Virgil was there instead, his big broad and strong arms wrapped around him all tight, his skin glistening with sweat from intense love making….

John eventually found himself down stairs, fingers tracing the top of the piano. Virgil always kept the lid closed, but the best sound it produced was when it was open - something Virgil was either never told, or just never liked the echo it produced in the living rooms empty acoustics. 

He sat on the stool in front of the keys and tapped a few keys lightly before stretching his slender fingers out into the right positions - or at least the correct ones for someone who was left handed. 

John knew his brother was better at playing than he was, hell Virgil only started learning to play because he did and as it turned out, was better at it, faster to learn and in the end he had given up because Virgil was the only one that people wanted to hear play…. The same could be said for Gordon’s swimming - gymnastics and acrobatics were not something you want everyone to know your son or brother was into but swimming at the Olympics - that you can get behind...then Alan's interest in space…..

John found himself randomly pressing keys as his mind was left to wander, thinking of all the things he had in common with his siblings and how much he was overshadowed by them… even Scott was better at computers than he was.

Mediocre, boring, emotionally tactile as an inflatable dartboard….his entire personality in a nutshell.

He didn't have a thing about him that was unique that wasn't shared with another sibling besides physical appearance and even then the only comments in regards to that where ‘He’s a handsome one for a child who's adopted.’ 

Adopted…. REALLY? Is that all they could say he was when people were introduced to them at ridiculous ritch tosspot parties?

Yet….

When he and Scott were alone, together standing before each other, naked and vulnerable to the world…

That very first time, they were clumsy and truthfully it wasn't supposed to have gone that far. They had both had the ‘Talk’ with their dad after he found out they had been buying adult magazines online and had been curious as to how the whole physical interaction with two people worked.

The talk didn't involve any explanation on intercourse or the anatomy that you usually would need to include in it and things involving the opposite gender - most of which was assumed and implied but never explained - leaving both teenagers floundering around dangerously by themselves.

Scott kept hesitating and couldn't stop staring at John, unsure how to initiate any intimate interaction with his naked sibling. Neither of them had considered that something needed to be happening emotionally between them until John shyly made the first move.

That first kiss - the one that was more invasive than the usual brotherly kiss on the cheek - brought walls crumbling down around them as lips gently touched and explored one another, John holding Scott's hands and after highly over thinking it gave into a sudden need to have his hands on his body, resting his older brother's hands on his side and on his hips before reaching out to touch him in the same way.

It didn’t take long before sixteen year old Scott started to feel the need to go further than kissing and touching, becoming more forthcoming and leading his younger brother to the bed, laying him down in the soft bedsheets before parting his legs and entering him where he assumed he was supposed to perform what their father roughly described as ‘intercourse’ and started to be intimate with John more than he had ever been before.

With a free hand, Scott stroked him as he thrusted without any real rhythm while John struggled to hold him tight and when that failed, gripped and tugged at the bed till they both came together and ended up tangled in the sheets.

Each time they were alone they got better - they learned what each other liked and how to turn each other on… and they experimented.

The last time John touched that warm loving heart they didn’t need words to express their affection and how much they missed each other.

That felt longer than two months ago.

He had to let all that go… but how? He didn't have very much going on in his life to distract him enough to eventually forget that he felt loved by his older brother.

Especially now, when he needed someone to be close to. Gordon offered but… it wouldn’t be right.

He knew Scott will eventually tell him he had to go back up on Five and return to monitoring duties to stop him moping around however he also needed time to get used to the idea he was no longer wanted around ever again.

John was Scott’s secret, another part of his life to be locked away like everything else about him. If he did have anything interesting about him as a person, no one was ever going to know about it.

*  
Gordon poked his head into John's bedroom across the hall and frowned. He couldn't have gone back on duty after his breakdown yesterday, could he?

There was music coming from downstairs and reluctantly he headed down to the living room, disappointed that his chance to spend the day trying to reconnect with his older brother was no longer an option.

Or at least not an immediate one.

He was surprised to see his sibling playing mum’s piano, bathed in the frosty morning glow of the sun through the windows. The fact it wasn’t Virgil playing something classical was a novelty and Gordon was impressed there was singing accompanying the tune too - another thing Virgil avoided with a passion when playing as he felt the human voice polluted the purity of the melody.

Gordon smiled at that. It was how he managed to annoy him with music by Ray Charles and Elton John on long trips in Thunderbird Two to name a few. Virgil couldn’t stand modern piano music if it needed lyrics with it.

Clearly John’s opinion on music was on the other foot. Sure some things Gordon noticed were gentle as he stood there listening, but then he would change the pace and pound the keys - all within the one song and looked gleefully wild with just letting it all go.

He started to cough and stop playing and it occurred to Gordon that John may have been at it all night to get his mind just as tired as his body was from over doing it in the gym.

Gordon walked over and rested his hands on his shoulders. “You need to sleep, John.”

“I can't.” John’s voice croaked. “I can't on my own. I keep hoping that… you know what? I think if I go back up to Five to sleep I maybe ok, I'm used to it when I'm there.”

He stood up and stumbled over the stool and brushed himself off as he caught himself. 

“You mean you've never slept in your own bed alone?”

“Not till recently.” John admitted shyly. “It’s weird but it feels empty even if I stuff all the toys I put away on the bed with me.”

“Toys?” Gordon said flatly.

“Stuffed animals. All those toys I won from game machines on our holidays with dad I was supposed to give away I sort of hid them all in my wardrobe. I mean, it was the only thing I was good at that you guys weren't better at than me and everytime I feel unwell I tend to get them all out…. Sadly they can't talk back and wrap their arms around you and tell you thing are ok.” He realised what he had admitted to and how childish it sounded. “Er…”

Gordon laughed. “I know where you're coming from.” he gave his brother a wink as they both walked back up the stairs, pausing by his bedroom door and indicated to John to have a look. 

Gordon’s room was a mess, clutter strewn everywhere and a large pile of unwashed clothing was sitting in the corner. The only thing that was neat was his bed and resting on it was several large ocean themed stuffed animals. His younger brother picked one up and hugged it lovingly, a giant turtle - one that forced him to smile.

“I've kept all of them, you know. This guy was the first one you won for me… I treasure him. I know we're not close or anything like we were as kids… but I still love them and think about how cool you used to be...and hopefully still are - not implying anything just…”

“It's ok, Gordon. I get it. It's sweet of you to cheer me up but it's going to take time to get used to all this…..”

Gordon then got an idea. He closed the door behind John and pulled him over to his bed and sat him down, kicking a few items of loose clothing out the way.

“How about this then, you cuddle with me for a while? At least till you fall asleep and I'll let you rest ok? You need to sleep John, you can't deal with a broken heart with a messy head.”

“Uh.. I don’t really-”

“I won’t take no for an answer. Hey, it's not like I'm asking you to do anything else with me ok? I'm just trying to help for once.” he patted his brother's back and rubbed it down. “I can tell you're not doing very well with this it's pretty obvious and having you millions of miles away in space trying to do this on your own is something that frightens me. I don’t understand any of this in truth but I know a broken heart when I see one, even if I'm not supposed to know why you have one.”

He wrapped his arms around John to enforce his point. “I was going to ask if you wanted to get off the island today for a while but maybe we can do that tomorrow?”

John smiled with clear levels of shyness. “Maybe. I'm not sure….”

“I'll make sure it's not somewhere super crowded. You don't get out much so...we can start small yeah?”

John just nodded. 

“Awesome!” Gordon grinned.


	4. Other plans

“Hey Gordon -Woah! What's possessed you?”

Gordon looked up at Scott who was standing in the doorway his jaw low on the floor in shock that his slob of a little brother was FINALLY cleaning his bedroom without ever being asked.

“Sometimes I get sick of it myself.” Gordon shrugged. He sniffed a shirt, pulled a face and tossed it into a laundry basket. This was the third one he had filled and there was still more to go.

Scott spotted John sleeping on the bed buried under Gordon’s stuffed sea creature collection.

“Should I be worried?”

“Maybe, why? Know something I don't?”

“He needs to go back on shift in an hour.”

Gordon glanced at his sleeping sibling who was struggling to stay that way. The only reason he was cleaning his room was so he was still present if he was needed to get the light sleeper back into a deeper doze.

“No, I don't think so.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“I found him asleep at dad's desk reading GDF reports.” Gordon lied. “He hasn't slept and is overworked. Let him sleep it off, he needs a break once in awhile.”

“I guess….” Scott seemed to think it over. “I just don't want him moping around the house in the shadows all week avoiding us like he tends to do when he gets free time. Tends to get me worried and gives everyone else the shits.”

Gordon’s eyes narrowed. If he didn’t know about Scott and John he would have been confused and have ignored that last comment. He knew now it fully implied that John might be a problem with his new open relationship with Virgil.

“Pretty sure he has other things to worry about than you and Virgil.” Gordon said with such conviction he wished that was true. “For the curious - not that I care or is it my business - exactly how long you and Virge been together?”

“Officially? A week… but we've been dancing around it for a year or so… I've felt it was worth seeing where it could go. I've been lonely Gordon and well… Virgil was always there, someone to talk to, spend time with….you know all the important stuff. He makes me feel loved, I shouldn't have to justify that.”

“No… no you shouldn't.” Gordon sighed. Gee, if Scott really knew what he knew….

Scott didn't think John loved him so he is with someone he knows does….but the truth is more painful than that.

And there was no way to tell him that without throwing John under the bus, a situation he wouldn’t emotionally survive in one piece and make things messier than they already were.

“Hey that holiday to Tibet… have you told John we're all going?”

Scott shook his head. “He’ll be too busy working to care if we all bunk off for a while. We are still taking all our gear in case a rescue is required but we're going to relax… besides we're all going as couples - he will hate that being stuck doing things either on his own or as a third wheel… that wouldn't be fair.” Scott seemed to have a thought. “Have you asked Penelope to go yet?”

Gordon winced. “Er…” 

“It would be a great chance to ask her to go steady with you after all the dancing around you two do.” Scott continued, as if Gordon didn't hesitate. 

Gordon swallowed. “I might just stay here instead.”

“Um… you'd be here all alone. Grandma will be on a vacation with some old friends and Brains has that big science conference with professor Moffat.”

“Meh.”

“Meh?” Scott looked at his younger brother confused.

“Yeah, Meh. Might give me some time to get my act together….my god what the hell did I spill on this shirt?”

“Fair enough. Don't complain to me it was boring as hell though.” Scott waved him off and walked away.

Gordon glanced at John who was clearly pretending to be asleep.

“How much did you hear?”

“Everything.” John sat up awkwardly as if he was drugged. “It's as if… how long has he said that I'm boring for?”

“In general? Years. Always behind you back, like the rest of us….” Gordon felt shit the moment he said it.

“So… he may never really have loved me after all even… even if it wasn't a secret.” John sighed heavily and drew in his knees. “I'm a blind fool. As for the holiday? He’s right. Don’t stay here ….you'll be alone.”

“You can't just hide on Thunderbird Five John, you can't deal with emotions just by running away.”

“Actually I can…. As apparently I don't have any. Tree stump remember?” John stood up to leave. “It's nice you've tried, but I know now you don't mean it, no one does.” he frowned. “Scott too.”

“Hey come on now, John -”

“No, not this time Gordon. I'm done with being the creature of shame and jokes around here. I need to get off the island… don't care how I just want away from all of you and feeling like I don't matter at all.” he stalked across the hall to his room and caught himself in the mirror on the wall.

Emotionless huh? He seethed. His reflection showed that he was far from that, tears streaking down his features. He was a real broken mess.

He’ll show them - especially Scott. Every time he had made love with that brother of his he gave every ounce of his soul, every damn emotional part of his physical being and all his spare time he could have spent forging better relationships with his other brother's instead of sneaking around to make passionate love to a person who thought he was as interesting as the small patch of carpet in the living room under the holotable.

Knowing that made him very angry.


	5. Original Prankster

Scott couldn't find his uniform. He hunted through all the washing in the laundry, through the lockers and his own bedroom.

Annoyed he stormed outside to where John was with Gordon, standing in front of the barbecue making sausages and burgers for lunch, Gordon dripping wet from being in the pool.

John kept a straight face however Gordon was starting to giggle and burst out laughing.

“Nice outfit! Had no idea Virgil liked you wearing a neon pink corset with high heel stilettos!”

“Oh ha ha laugh it up Gordo! What did you do with my uniform?”

“Me?” Gordon looked stunned and gaped opened mouthed like a fish out of water. “You can't be serious?”

“He's right Scott. Only person who knows how to set your suit up shute is Brains.” John said, emotionally distant as usual. “Though I agree with Gordon, you do look very ‘hot’ in pink.”

Scott’s jaw opened and closed a few times. John had a point.

“He's in his lab.”

“Thanks.” Scott stormed off towards the house again and almost fell over in the six inch heeled boots.

“Do you honestly think Brains would do that to Scott?” Gordon asked John still stunned as a mullet, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous their eldest brother looked, makeup and all.

“It's possible.” John said calmly poking the coals in the barbecue before lifting out something that once resembled blue fabric that was burned right through with holes. “Do you think I should tell Brains to make our suits a little more fire retardant?”

Gordon blinked. “IT WAS YOU?”

John gave him a sly grin. “You’d be amazed at what other outfits I found in Kayo’s wardrobe. Alan has NO IDEA what he's in for when Kayo decides they're old enough to finally do it together.”

Gordon started laughing till his ribs hurt. “You're a total bastard!”

John pressed a finger to his lips. “Not so loud. Besides, Scott deserves every bloody thing I dish out. Serves the arsehole right for letting me think he actually loved me. He's the fucking tree stump of a person and I'm going to make sure he KNOWS he shouldn't have messed with me.”

“You're pure evil.”

John shrugged. “He shouldn't have lead me on. I have no reason to give him mercy.”

Gordon grinned like a shark. “I want in.”

“Deal.” Gordon shook John's hand getting a wider smile of pure devilish mischief on the face of his older brother.


	6. Warfare

Scott as usual was the first between then both of them to wake, he smiled looking at Virgil still deep in slumber beside him. He kissed his brother's head softly before he got up to brush his teeth and start on his morning run.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he brushed his teeth. What the? He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him as he glanced at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. "GORDON!" He yelled storming out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

He tried opening the door to Gordon's room, locked but of course. "GORDON!" Scott yelled again as he banged his fist loudly on the bedroom door.

As Gordon sleepily opened his bedroom door, Scott grabbed a fistful of his pajama shirt and pulled him level with his own face. "What the hell did you do?! And how did you get into my bedroom?" Scott growled angrily.

Gordon had no idea what Scott was going on about, his eyes barely focusing on his brother's face. Wait? Why was Scott missing an eyebrow? And the one he was left with was... bright blue? He burst out laughing knowing there would be hell to pay for later but Scott looked so funny!

"What's going on?" Scott turned at the sound of John's voice, surprised that he was still home as Kayo had kindly volunteered to start her rotation on Five early, so that John could have more have more down time.

John looked stunned when he saw Scott still holding onto a hysterically laughing Gordon and held his straight faced expression making Scott grow more furious and Gordon laugh even harder, so much so that when Scott let go he slid to the floor clutching his sides.

"For God's sake guys... it's barely 7am..." Alan whined as he stumbled sleepily into the common hallway. "The hell?" His eyes first rested on Gordon who was laughing so hard tears were started to fall down his cheeks, then at Johns stony expression hiding his equal delirium with professional ease and then…..is that Scott? Alan never wanted to laugh so badly in his life, Scott looked furious incandescent even but with almost neon blue single eyebrow he looked more like a clown than anything remotely dangerous. He shoved his fist in his mouth trying to restrain his own laughter.

Scott nudged Gordon who was still clutching his aching sides from laughing so much. His brothers' reactions seemed genuine enough, he no longer knew who pulled this evil prank. " 'Fess up now before I kill ALL of you!" Scott growled. "HOW am I expected to carry out rescues with a missing eyebrow and the other FLUORESCENT blue?!"

Virgil coughed to get his lover's attention, apparently they were loud enough to wake even him. "Actually Scott, it's Cerulean Blue..." Virgil barely got out as he smirked, trying to hide his laugh behind his hands.

“Same way as you did in the corset, suspenders and heeled boots I suspect.” John mused, finally showing a hint of a smile.

Scott threw his arms up in exasperation. "THIS is not OVER! I'm going to find out which one of you did it and so help me God, you'll wish you were dead by the time I'm through with you!" He stormed off and slammed his bedroom door behind him but it wasn't enough as his four brothers exploded freely in laughing fits at his departure.

“So who's idea was that?” Virgil asked once the laughter died.

“Don't look at me,” Gordon raised his hands in defense. “If I did I wouldn't be laughing so hard.”

John shrugged and Alan shook his head.

“Grandma used to pull pranks remember?” Alan then added.

John nodded. “Could have also been Kayo before she left. He WAS wearing her underwear yesterday.”

“Those were hers?” Alan was genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, you're in for such a treat when you finally have your first time mate!” Gordon burst with laughter again.

“It should have been purple… like a soft lilac.”

Gordon stopped laughing and they all stared at Virgil who shrugged. “I think that colour suits him more.” he said before waving it off. “Maybe I should buy him a set on our trip to the Mainland?”

John’s stony poker face returned. “Yeah… you do that. Make sure it's one size too small. You want it uncomfortable enough he’ll be happy you stripped it off.”

“Hey, that's not such a bad idea! Thank John. You know, you're not so bad as Scott says you are about us being together.”

“Oh I'm totally ok with it. Like Gordon told him yesterday… I'm just overworked and don't care too much about what you guys do when I'm not here.” he lied with such believably that Virgil bought it and swallowed the lie like it was sugar frosted candy, while Gordon noted the small eye twitch John had as he himself was forced to swallow a bitter pill.

“Heh, coming from you it means alot. Anyway I better help Scott fix his face.” Virgil smiled, patting John on the shoulder before heading off to find Scott.

Alan yawned. “Welp that's the entertainment over for this morning. Wake me up at lunchtime ok?” and with that, Alan closed his bedroom door to go back to sleep.

“Don't even think -”

“Too late. I have plans for Virgil when he suits up. Hope he enjoys being tarred and feathered.”

“Are you sure you're not going to far with this? Virgil isn't who you're mad at. He has no idea about you and Scott.”

John sighed. “Not far enough I think... I'm just getting started.”

“Jealousy doesn't suit you John.”

“Who said I'm jealous?” John frowned. “I'm practically livid. Scott’s lucky I don't tell Virgil all about ‘us’. I'm not going to sink that low.”

Gordon stood up as John stepped into Scott’s bedroom in search for something and followed him in to see what he was up to.

“Scott will hurt you if he finds out.”

“I don't see how, he can't hurt me more than he already has.” John rolled his eyes at Gordon’s concerned expression. “Look, eventually I'll stop. I just need to get this out of my system ok? Then I'll go back to being the doormat you all want me to be. It's pretty clear no matter what they're going to be together and I'm not interested in breaking them up. I just want Scott to know what it feels like to be humiliated every single damn day.”

He sighed heavily. “That and maybe make him realise that now he's with Virgil he shouldn't take it for granted….like with me. Ah! I found it!”

Gordon craned to look at what was in John hands. “Lube?”

John smiled deviously. “Scott has a tight arse - I mean that literally. He always insisted on it - not that you needed to know that.” he said hurriedly.

He walked out into the hall and headed for the bathroom with Gordon at his heels and once inside, he tipped the contents of the bottle into a small jug and then produced another bottle from under his loose jumper he had tucked into his shorts and tipped that in before mixing it through.

Gordon looked at the new bottle. “Yikes! Are you sure you want to do this John? That's going to burn like hell!”

“That's the idea. Mexican chilies and paprika will do that.”

“That's cruel!”

“Good…. Now where did I hide the food dye? Ah there it is!” John reached right into the back of the medicine cupboard and before he opened the bottle he covered his hands in soap so it washed off if he got it anywhere. He didn't want any evidence on him.

He dripped a few drops in and the mixture turned blue again to the original colour of the lube.

“That's going to stain whoever uses that on themselves as well as be very hot.”

“Yup it will stain for weeks.” John smiled. “I would love to make it glow in the dark too but that paint Virgil has isn't exactly safe if Scott or himself lick each other while this stuff is on.”

Gordon pulled a face. “Too much information John.”

“Maybe, but I know Scott is into flavored stuff and this is no exception.” he grinned handing Gordon the lube bottle after he poured in the mixture and capped it carefully. “Both will have more than just a blue dick and a blue arse I can assure you.”

“Bubble gum flavour… oh holy fuck!” Gordon exclaimed. “Wow, John..you've just opened a WHOLE world of questions about your previous sex life-”

“Yeah, I guess I have….” John's expression softened. “We were not as creative as you think we were. I wanted to try all sorts of things but…” he flushed pink in the cheeks. “Look, this isn't about me ok? It's about making Scott look like a fool till the novelty wears off… why do you care anyway? You're straight aren't you? Thought you and Alan disproved of this whole ‘brotherly incest’ thing?”

Gordon shrugged as his brother started to clean the bathroom sink to remove any evidence. “Well I can't vouch for Alan, but Kayo had an interesting spin on it while you were busy burning Scott’s clothes of the barbecue.”

“Oh?”

“She said she found it highly erotic and a bit of a turn on.” Gordon really winced hard.

“Ha well the idea of lesbian sisters doing it or mother and daughter fetishes are common for straight guys so I'm not surprised really.” John chuckled.

“Uh… there was more to it…”

John snorted. “Well, are you going to tell me or leave me in suspense?”

“I uh… oh damn this is really awkward.” Gordon hesitated as John took the lube bottle and headed back towards Scott's bedroom again, checking it was empty before returning bottle to its hiding spot and closing the bedroom door behind him as if no one had been in there.

“Speak up Gordon, I don't have all day. I have more pranks to pull and people to humiliate.”

“She thought the idea of you dressed up in fetish leather was a good look for you.”

John froze and then started laughing, trying not to fall down the stairs at the sametime.

“Oh it gets MUCH better.”

“Oh?”

“She thought the idea of you and me doing it highly sexy...especially since I'm so short compared to you and with how flexible you are….”

“Well tell her it's only going to be a dream. She knows you're as straight as a plank and thinks I have the sexual interest of dead fish. That would be fun to make a fake sex video to tease her with though - that really WOULD drive Alan nuts.”

“Well.. do you have the sex interest of a dead fish?” Gordon asked.

“Sadly no. I'm kinda desperate right now but keeping a good lid on it. I have to accept the fact I may have to hit some night clubs if I want any action. How I'm going to do that I have no idea… but I will think of something.”

“So you're not afraid that your relationship with Scott ruined your life or anything?”

“Doesn't any relationship that falls apart ruin your life for a short while?”

Gordon smiled softly. “You have a point.”

“Come on Gordon, let's find something else to do while those two love birds try and sort themselves out.”


	7. Reality

Gordon followed John into a shack far away from the house in a hidden alcove of the island. Gordon could smell something strange and got a shock when he saw the plants that were overhanging the shack.

“Oh my gosh, are those marijuana trees?”

“Shhh! You trying to tell the world that I'm growing illegal hydroponics?” John nudged Gordon quiet till they were safely inside. Gordon’s jaw went wider when he saw the still in the center of the floor surrounded by hundreds of empty beer bottles and steins. 

“Holy shit! How the fucking hell did you get all this stuff on the island?” Gordon exclaimed. 

John shrugged. “Just aquired it over the years. Everyone has to have hobbies and since I don't get off the island much to play in the arcades, I had to do something else to keep me occupied.” he turned on the still and fed in a bag of barley and tossed in some yeast. “Besides you guys are never around when I get time off or if you are… well you know where I would have been now.”

Gordon nodded, however he still couldn't believe it as he watched John add a few other things into the still.

“Do you smoke what you grow and drink the beer?”

“Sometimes. Maybe that's why I've never noticed you guys being distant with me till recently.” John mused. “I don't have much going on in my life, Gordon. This is as interesting as it gets.”

Gordon watched his older brother dig around and produce a dried pile of hash which he rolled into a small cigarette and lit it. “I would have offered you one when I was younger and more stupid but I'm not going to even consider it now. I only smoke enough to null my brain from depression here and there these days. It's wrong but you guys were never supposed to know about it. It's this or Brains’s experimental drugs from his lab… this is far safer.”

“Wow… this is alot to swallow John. I never knew you had this… sort of life without us around.”

“Yeah well I never realised how close you guys all were and how much you all enjoy spending time together on and off the island….. All I got is IR, depression, drugs, alcohol and until very recently.. Scott. I've wanted to give this stuff up but there's no point when I don't have nothing else to fall back on when I have to sort out all your nightmares and listen to your screams when the shit hits the fan on Five….” he took another deep puff. “Sure these pranks are making me feel good watching Scott suffer but it won't last long…. He'll have a life to continue on with and I'll be trapped in the shadows.”

John stubbed the remainder of the joint out and poured Gordon a stein mug of beer from a batch he brewed last time he was down from Five and he was shafted by his lover. “This stuff is strong, but it's good.”

Gordon took a swill. “Oh wow… that's buttery. That's a pretty young brew.”

“Yeah and it's got a high alcohol content, so don't jump in the pool after a few mugs, ok?” John warned. “I can’t fish you out if you almost drown, I'll be just as intoxicated.”

“Noted. This is kind of cool, even if highly illegal.” Gordon found himself sounding impressed. “I don't think I'll ever call you boring and emotionally vacant after the last few days. You've pretty much threw all that bullshit back in my face with serious force.”

John laughed. “Pity this is a novelty hobby I will have to trash.”

“Well, you can stop growing and smoking the weed… but I doubt anyone would tell you to stop brewing the beer.” Gordon took a larger swig. “This stuff really is excellent! Can we bring this back to the house?”

“You bet! Let me pour out enough to stick in a crate.”

It took an hour or two to fill enough in between drinking the amber liquid but eventually the two of them stumbled into the house dropping the crate load of bottles on the holo table in the lounge, laughing their heads off. John flicked the holotable on to play some music while Gordon skulled another bottle, leaning back on one of the couches as if he was a king.

John stripped off his shirt so he was wearing the tight white t-shirt that was beneath and as the music started to kick in he began to goof around as if he was Kevin Bacon in ‘Footloose.’ 

Gordon sat up and drunkenly cheered as the funky beat of Ben Folds ‘Rent a cop’ burst into life and John while drunkenly singing along was dancing around the living room, leaping onto the couches and at one point dancing with Gordon even though the younger Tracy had two left feet he still got into the rhythm and the excitement that his brother had going off like fireworks.

[](https://imgur.com/xOtdzPn)

John tripped and pinned Gordon under him on the floorboards. Both of them flushed pink in the face as their noses were inches from each other. Gordon could smell the beer on his breath and the cannabis on his clothes and for a brief moment his drunk brain wanted to know what that concoction tasted like.

He didn't get the chance as John rolled off him, laughing with a mild snort interjected in random intervals. Gordon was curious as to what his brother was laughing at and without thinking too much about whatever had caught his brother's fancy, started to tickle him and make him squirm and snort with laughter even more.

Wow, John was really skinny under that t-shirt…. Gordon’s brain was trying to get him to pay attention to something really important that he should be worried about as he rough housed with his sibling. 

He shouldn't be able to feel his ribs through the fabric.

The voice in his head was shouting at his alcohol riddled brain to take it easy - incase it broke something. Good thing it didn't have to panic for long as John started to fend him off, his slender hands stronger than Gordon thought they should be for one so thin… but then John always was called ‘skeletor’ by his sports teachers and ‘stork’ from the gymnast crew he trained with… though ‘stork’ was a nicer way of them calling him a dork and John wasn't stupid…. That's part of why he threw it away. He wasn't muscular despite being very fit and flexible and in a small way it was pretty clear when around his brothers - even lithe little Alan - he was the scrawny one of the group.

Gordon couldn't see what was attractive about him besides the elegant features to his face which if John was a lady would look stunning, but as a bloke made him seem slightly arrogant and up himself.

Scott had to have found something in him to have had a relationship with him in the first place…. Because John wasn't at all sexually attractive, at least to Gordon. Maybe he could ask Kayo since she seemed to see something there that he could not.

He knew why John would have gone for Scott though… the eldest had the physique of a Bondi beach lifeguard, slim, muscled and every woman's or gay man's wet dreams. He was the complete handsome package, taking directly after their father and admittedly Virgil was a close second - larger set and more square but damn did he have the body under that red shirt.

Gordon knew he was a runt and worked damn hard to get his shape and was quite proud of his efforts. If he flexed his arms he had the same power that both Scott and Virgil had but he always looked a little on the skinny side too due to his short height.

He began to also wonder if Scott knew John was taking drugs and drinking himself to oblivion in private when no one else was around. That stuff had to have affected his behaviour or maybe….

Scott, like the rest of them couldn’t tell the difference because they saw so little of him.

John had rolled over to try and get air back into his lungs before struggling to sit up. He was rosy pink in the face, something Gordon hadn't seen before.the soft flushed colour against his pale features… oh boy NOW Gordon could see the attraction. There was an innocence about him he had never taken into consideration. Now regardless of his physical appearance, he was really attractive - forcing Gordon to sit up too so he could hide himself as being intoxicated meant he had no control over his libido.

“Another beer?”

Gordon nodded as John helped him off the floor and the both stumbled back into the cut out center of the room together to grab another bottle each. This time John stretched out on one of the couches, burying himself amongst the cushions while he upended the bottle.

“Who do you think is in control of their relationship?”

“Who's?”

“Virgil and Scott.”

“Pfft who cares? That's like asking who is in charge of Alan's.”

“Kayo.” they said in unison, laughing at the shared thought.

“What's it like… being with a lady?”

Gordon looked surprised. “Uh… Difficult. I don’t really know how to answer that since I don't seem to be getting anywhere with Lady Penelope other than ‘friends with benefits’. I probably should start looking elsewhere… start dating again… maybe we could go nightclubbing? We could both pick up so ladies for a few one nighters….just to get started.”

“I don’t see how that would work. I don’t have an attraction to woman.”

“John if you're basing you being gay because of you having a relationship with Scott you need to really find out if it's true or not.”

“Well…. Sort of… no.” John stared at his beer bottle, picking at the already faded label. “We used to buy all sorts of magazines online before dad sat us down for his famous sex talk. We would perve at the centerfolds and you know… jerk off to some while we sat together. We never did to any pictures of busty woman…. It was the ones with the well oiled muscular guys…..and there was so few in those magazines.” John really started to concentrate on picking the label now like it was offending him by being stuck to the bottle. “After dad's talk we were a little confused to what he meant about sex being between two people and well we thought to give it a try. You remember dad's big speech right? He left out SO MANY things. We tried a few times, stood around in Scott's bedroom naked with each other looking stupid….till I…”

“You started it?”

“Sort of…. Well yeah. Scott was a chicken wuss about it even though he suggested we try it. I kissed him and well…. It's all history.” John put the bottle down by the side of the couch in the floor and hide further amongst the cushions. “I don't think I'll be ever able to let him go Gordon… not the way he just casually spoke to me about it being over. It was like I didn't matter or he had forgotten that we were lovers. Heck Virgil is like the ultimate upgrade! He has the perfect body, the sweetest romantic personality….. I have none of those… just the ability to skulk around in the dark staying a secret.”

“So… I'm certain that I'm gay, Gordon. One hundred percent.” he glanced at his younger brother. “You ok with that?”

It took a few minutes before Gordon realised John was asking him for approval.

“Yeah, of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” Gordon leaned forward. “You can still go on dates and things though can't you?”

“Well yeah…. But the whole one night stand thing…. Ok so far I'm lucky that I don't have anything just from being with Scott for so long -” he tapped the watch on his right wrist, indicating that Brains regularly took health checks of them twenty-four hours a day seven days a week so anything dangerous like AIDS or Tuberculosis when in rescues helping people in some of the most poorest regions of the world, Malaria and a few others a major threat as they had few times accidentally brought them home with them, leaving the entire Tracy household under severe quarantine for a few months. “Oh and Brains knows I smoke weed. We've had a chat and as long as it's not doing damage he's not going to do anything about it… but yeah one night stands…. I don’t know Gordon… I've been lucky so far but I don't think it's a good idea.”

“Fair enough.”

“Besides, I don't know if I'll ever be ready for another relationship….not now anyway, not when I'm still a wreck.” John sat up and patted his jeans revealing that he slipped some marijuana in his back pocket before they came back into the house. “I need another smoke.” he picked up his beer before he stood up and made his way unsteadily for the balcony.

“Hey, if you're going out there for one, may as well roll me one too.” Gordon grabbed him by the arm. “If it's not dangerous for you then it won't be for me… besides, they all think I'm taking steroids or something just to keep building body mass to match theirs. You’re not the only one that gets ragged on around here.”

John seemed to think about it. “Fine, but I'm not responsible if you start to freak out or hallucinate.”

“As long as you're not getting stoned and shit faced on your own, I'm ready to take on my own monsters.”

They stood outside in the cold evening air smoking and drinking till the little stash bag was empty, talking about some darker things, occasionally laughing at how silly it all sounded. They were both learning that despite how different they were they had a great deal more in common than they realised….for a start both of them loved and hated being alone, a state which John wasn’t aware of that Gordon faced quite often even though he hung around with the others.

“So wait, they treat you like trash too?”

“More or less. There's only so many ‘short dumb blonde male’ jokes you can take until they're no longer funny anymore.”

“Really? That's weird as I know you're smarter than Scott….”

“I know but you know it doesn't mean anything to them.” Gordon frowned. “Then there's Penny….she talks to me like I'm mud on her pretty little red shoes. Sometimes I think they only ask me to things with them just to take the piss out of me to make them all look good. Not sure what's worse, being made fun of behind your back or directly to your face.”

“Both.”

Gordon laughed. “Today has been a bit weird but fun. Pitty we can't hang out like this more.”

“Maybe we can… I'd have to run it past Scott, I'm sure he wouldn’t mind. Hey you said you were staying here instead of going with them on holiday right? How far off is that?”

“Er… I think they wanted to all go while you were back up on Five.”

“Ah, sneak off duty while I'm on it….I sort of didn't make the connection yesterday.”

“Well you know now… I don't think it matters when they all go now.”

John clicked his tongue. “Maybe while they're all away we can take a few day trips to the mainland ourselves? Hit a few arcades, maybe an aquarium or a movie theater….whatever you want.”

“Really?”

“I don’t see why we can't. Otherwise we're stuck here….and I don't think you'll want my company when there is nothing to do.”

Gordon lightly punched him on the shoulder. “you're not as bad as you think.”

“Neither are you.”

Gordon smiled and leaned against John till he felt his brother wobble before they both fell over in a pile. John started to laugh before Gordon pulled him up right and for a few seconds they were within kissing distance. John was quick to push himself away, if they were not outside in the cold air he would have pinned Gordon down and started stripping him naked to screw him right there.

Thank god being cold meant he held onto some form of sobriety. He knew no matter how much he drank, as long as his body stayed cool he could hold onto his liquor and his self control. Once back inside though…..

Gordon was clearly sloshed now and being stoned meant everything was funny so being brushed off by John wasn't a bad thing. Infact to the younger Tracy, it was hilarious. He couldn't stop laughing, even when John dragged him up to his feet to usher him back inside for his own safety off the balcony.

“I need to pee.” Gordon announced to the world in general.

“Do you need help up the stairs?” 

“Nah… but thanks anyway John. I might go to bed.”

“Ok. I'll come check on you in a bit. I'm worried you've overdone it trying to keep up with me.”

“Okay.” Gordon didn’t argue. He knew fine well after drinking with any of his brother's he was the one who could hold his liquor the least and only accepted it if John told him he had enough as he never trusted Virgil or Scott’s judgment on the matter as both were bigger idiots than he was once plastered. When they were younger they used to sneak Gordon into places underage or give him drinks at parties and without fail it was John who drank the most and was the one making sure they all stayed out of traffic and safe on the walk back to the hotel. You learn quickly who your safety net is then.

John left Gordon to walk up the stairs to the bedroom hall way before walking outside again before his head started to cloud over with drunken sex fantasies. He was desperate yes, however he knew he could keep a lid on it a little longer and it will eventually go away.

*

Scott was having a hard time concentrating on his book, not with Virgil sprawled gloriously naked in his bed before him. He had showered in his en suite and claimed he was too tired to even clothe himself, promptly falling asleep before his head even touched the pillows. Weekends had become Virgil's sacred time to catch up on much needed sleep in between the recent long drawn out missions.

Before he knew it he had a hard on. Giving up he threw his book aside and started kissing Virgil softly arousing him from his sleep. 

"Hmmm? Scott?"

"Fucking hell Virgil, you look so good I could just eat you up..." Scott growled, before ravaging Virgil with another kiss, this time much more passionately now that he had his attention.

Virgil laughed, Scott was an ideal lover with strength and God damn one hell of a libido to match as Virgil found out not long into their relationship. He kissed him back as he forcibly removed Scott's cumbersome clothing, popping more than a few buttons and stitches in his haste. 

Out of habit Scott reached for the lube, as always applying a generous amount on himself. Virgil squirmed with anticipation at the way Scott was touching himself, wishing he woke him up like this more often. The lube bottle was then chucked aside unceremoniously, as Scott turned his attention back on his brother and entered him. 

"Arghhh..." Virgil winced, a little taken aback by Scott's sudden entry. But wait, something felt a little off... why... why was it burning down there?!

"Sco... arh... SCOTT! Get off!" Virgil tried to fight off his brother's continued advances, finally wrestling himself free from under him. Scott on the other hand thought Virgil was just playing games and he held onto his wrist pulling him back in bed as he started to nuzzle and kiss him right where the sun shone least.

"Damn it Scott! It fucking burns! GET OFF ME!!!" Virgil shoved Scott backwards so hard he almost fell off the bed. He barely caught a glimpse of Virgil as he ran into the en suite, followed by the sound of the shower running. What in the world was going on? Scott wondered and then the burning pain hit him... HARD. On his hands, his privates and mouth. He ran in after Virgil, shoving him aside as he tried to seek the same relief under the cold shower head. 

Virgil sat on the bathroom floor hoping to seek the some comfort from the pools of water gathered underneath them now that Scott was taking up most of the standing shower. But why did Scott resemble a horny Smurf? The sight alone as his brother washed himself down all over should have been funny, had he not been in so much pain. 

Whatever... he had problems of his own right now, as his arse burned with a ferocity like nothing he ever felt before. Virgil grabbed a towel and he limped to the kitchen to grab some much needed ice, praying he won't bump into any of his brothers along the way, knowing that he would never live it down otherwise.

"JOHNNNNNNN!" Scott's voice thundered out from the room, as he waddled awkwardly out into the hall, the blue now really standing out on his slightly swollen face against the white of his bathrobe. Hurricane Tracy had just been unleashed.

Scott stormed into the living room to find the windows open to the balcony and John standing alone, drinking beer and smelling faintly of something strange in the middle of the afternoon. Didn't he had stuff they should be doing, not wasting time? 

“You! You did this!”

“Did wh - holy hobnobs...what the hell happened to you?” John snorted and started laughing uncontrollably, making Scott more irritated. Ok so he had some level of self preservation thrown away due to the marijuana in his system…but hell even if you were sober and not high Scott looked a sight! 

“Did Virgil put make up in you while you slept Scott? You look like one if those clown machine games at the carnival!” John couldn't stop himself from saying so if he tried. Scott grabbed him forcefully and dragged him inside, a bad move as now any shred of sobriety John had was going to dissipate fast and his drunken desperately horny state was going to kick in. Scott's second mistake was to be standing so close to John while only in his underwear.

“Seriously!? I know it was you this time! You're the only person who knows I use lube during sex! You can't damn lie your way out if this one! I suppose the other pranks were you as well huh?!” Scott shook John a few times. “Fucking hell you reek! Have you been rolling around in the compost all day or something?”

“Maybe. At least I don't smell like I bathed in sweet chilli sauce.” John wrinkled his nose a little but the plain truth was, Scott could be covered in blood, mud and sweat and he would still want him to fuck him. Oh hell…. Those ice cold blue eyes….. 

John grabbed Scott and pushed him backwards till they were both in the floor and he was fending Scott’s arms off while kissing his neck and down to his chest to tease and suck his nipples when Scott finally found the strength to shove himself ontop of him and punch him hard across the face.

“Fuck John! You're a real mess you know that? I’m with VIRGIL NOW. You have to accept that. I no longer love you, nor want anything to do with you - we are OVER, FINISHED, DONE! If I have to punch the crap out if you to get the message across then maybe it was a good thing we stopped fucking around in secret!”

Scott stood up and gave his brother a slight kick for good measure. “You really are a pathetic looser without me, damn I'm so glad I've grown old of you.” and with that he turned on his heel and left John to struggle to pick himself off the floor, wiping blood from his lips. Disoriented, he headed for the kitchen and walked outside around the pool before collapsing in the garden amongst the bushes in a large mud puddle as the rain started to fall.

Scott was right… he was indeed a mess. His older brother's pretty sapphire eyes faded out of his mind to be replaced by Gordon's purest ambers. He frowned and rolled over in the mud and wet grass trying to work out what the hell was going on in his head. 

He had to give up smoking and drinking if he was ever going to sort himself out… he hoped. A part of him knew it would take much more than that but he ignored it. Baby steps…. Need to walk before you can run and right now he was barely able to stand.


	8. Family Effort

Morning came and eventually he dragged his sorry arse back inside, grateful to have sobered up and that no one was really around to see the state he was in. Sticking his head into Scott’s empty bedroom he got an idea…. One more prank before he went up back to Five and he could be left alone to fall to pieces in peace.

Gordon awoke with a headache and as he felt his way around the hallway walls he saw John, covered in mud holding Scott's desk upside down against the ceiling with MAX bolting it in place in the eldest sibling's bedroom.

“What the hell?”

“Morning Gordon, feeling ok?”

“Head hurts - what are you doing to Scott’s room?”

“What's it look like?”

“You'll never get the bed up there by yourself.”

“You can help if you like.”

Gordon grinned. “ I think you'll need more than just me. Give me a few minutes ok?”

A few hours later and Grandma Tracy was walking around the house looking for her grandsons only to find John, Gordon and Alan all standing on step ladders holding a bed frame above their heads while MAX was bolting it to the roof.

“You know back in my day you also glued the bed sheets to the mattress and all their clothes to the ceiling as well.”

“Well we could use an extra pair of hands Grandma if you're willing. There's still Virgil’s bedroom to do yet.” John said casually while Gordon was giving Alan instructions as to where to position his step ladder.

Their Grandmother smiled deviously. “Where can I start?”

It was a few hours more but completely worth it with the exception of Virgil’s art things which were neatly put in a box in the corner of the now empty room.

They all stood back and admired their handy work, Grandma Tracy smiled while Gordon and Alan exchanged high fives. John noticed his watch blinking and ducked out into his bedroom before checking it. 

It was a message from Brains, notifying him that he's going to modify his diet - again.

John let out a sigh. These scanners in the watch were becoming a nuisance. Sure it was a safe and super efficient way to make sure they're all fit and healthy but John was getting sick to death of being told every few weeks he needed to have his eating habits looked into.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t eat. Quite the opposite. He ate more than an overweight Labrador and just as indiscriminately - it was partly stress but mostly all the time he spent in space which lead to the loss in muscle mass and was leaving him just skin and bones. It was probably a good thing Scott and him ended...his older brother would have demanded an intervention….

Or maybe not…

John was beginning to realise that Scott probably started just going through the motions with him in the same way he treated his drug addiction. No matter how he looked at it he was the one hanging onto something that no longer existed and should have ended a long time ago.

He picked up all the stuffed toys from his small single bed and put them back in the wardrobe leaving his room bare again. The only difference now between his room here and the on Five was the empty desk in the corner.

There was no books, no clothes - nothing in the room that said he lived there. It was just a place for sleeping, something he was going to have to just get used to doing, as right now he couldn't afford to have anyone get close to him.

Especially after those drunken thoughts he had about Gordon…. He couldn't drag his younger brother into this. 

He felt hot and flustered and instead of going to have a shower he dropped all his mud stained clothes in the floor and folded up onto the small bed, his long legs dangling off the end regardless if he curled them in, just like the bed back up in space.

Some dried mud left dirty marks on his bedsheets and pillow but it didn't matter, at least while he wasn't thinking straight. Maybe he never did think right at all?

Staying here was a risk now Scott knew he was pulling pranks on him and after this last one he was going to be pounded into the wooden floorboards but for some reason he was hoping he would do so, then when he swapped with Kayo in the morning he had no reason to ever come back down again. Sure his health would suffer more, maybe cripple him further down the line but it was worth the sacrifice when after looking at his life he really was as bad as they all saw him - lonely, boring and not worth the time.


	9. Unwell

Sleep rarely came easy and tonight was no exception. John tossed and turned in his small bed and pillows flew a few feet onto the floor.

He couldn't stop his dreams about how much he needed intimacy with Scott.

The warmth embrace and the comforting smells of coconut and cream from the body wash Scott showered in, the softness of his chestnut brown hair the slight tan on his skin and the lone freckle in the center between his shoulder blades.

He could vividly remember the taste on his lips, the watermelon from the summer and their last kiss.

He started to stir when Virgil started to replace him in the fantasy, his big broad muscular body wrapping around Scott, his dark charcoal chocolate hair defining his warm and handsome features…

John woke up with a start the moment his head hit the hard floor as he rolled fitfully out of bed. The last part with Virgil making hard passionate love with Scott as he reached into John's chest and tore his heart out and smashed it against the wall, blood oozing from it as it slid to the floor to rest against his own broken and mauled body where he lay eyes open staring into space with tear stained features.

John cursed his graphic imagination. Unfortunately he had no outlet for it and the last part of his heaving dead corpse kept burning into his eyelids every time he blinked.

He needed to stop drinking and smoking, that had to be why he had the nightmare.

He dragged himself downstairs, looked around to check no one was around before tucking himself under their father's desk - a tight squeeze since he was so tall.

He hadn’t hid under there since he was seven, not long after their mum had died in a research accident. No one would believe him if he told them he used to be the smallest of the Tracy brothers but at seven besides Alan, he was the only one who was still light enough to be carried to bed if he fell asleep on the couch…and sometimes when he cried himself to sleep under the desk - the same as now, hiding in only his underwear.

There was no dad to come and find him and tell him everything was going to be ok, heck even if their father was still around John hadn't really had much to do with him since he started sneaking around with Scott so they could both keep experimenting and having sex with each other. 

That’s why he never learned to control a craft and why their father asked him if he could man the over glorified space telephone. Right now he wished he never said yes, all it did was complicate his lack of a real life further until -

This very moment.

Time felt like it was standing still, waiting for him to do something to restart it.

Gordon was noisily munching on potato chips as he walked up the stairs from the kitchen and spotted something strange poking out from under dad's desk and headed over to investigate. He shifted the chair as he got down in his hands and knees, felt his tired brother's forehead and noticed the blinking light on his watch though he didn't need to check Brains’s health notifications to know his brother was unwell, he could feel he was in a cold sweat and the fact he still hadn't showered indicated that something was wrong.

Gordon tucked himself half under with him and leaned John against him, cuddling his older sibling. He had every reason to be concerned about him with what he had found out the last week or so, his brother's mental state was a bit of a mess and clearly it was more than just trouble with his sudden break up with Scott.

He nuzzled him and ran his fingers lightly over his pale skin, getting shudders and shakes from John, his body naturally responding to the intimate touch it was desperate to feel.

He wasn't sure if it was him still being slightly affected by the strong alcohol of the night before or the fact he still was under the influence of the marijuana but he was beginning to have weird feelings towards John that was hard to shake. His brother maybe skinny but after last night he got a good dose of how fun and sexy John could be just by how he danced around the living room.

Gordon had thought about it and knew that it might take John along time to get over Scott but he really needed some physical attention desperately and maybe might help ease the shakes, though there was no guarantee that it would stop him getting a fever.

He wouldn’t have been considering this if he was thinking straight - but he had also had a fight over the holo phone with Penelope and he needed the attention just as much as his brother.

He slipped a hand under the fabric of his older brother's shorts and nuzzled John as his brother let out a light gasp at the touch.

“Easy, just let me relieve you of some tension. Nothing more ok? You really need this…” Gordon kissed his slightly feverish forehead that was getting hotter as he stroked his hand unseen along his brother's newly aroused length and he began to wonder how long his sibling was in his personal endowments just by feeling him.

“Nuh...Gordon… st-stop…. Please don't do this….” John pleaded softly. 

“Shhh….” Gordon silenced him with the tips of his fingers on his other hand. “It's just this once.”

He nuzzled him with his nose softly while his hand gently worked him, tickling him lightly and playfully feeling the tip and the light leak of pre cum warmed his fingers. One of John's legs slammed against the underside of the desk as his body reacted rather violently to Gordon's ministrations, struggling to keep any ounce of composure and desperation out of his panting voice. 

“Wow if I was you I would have let go of everything by now.” Gordon whispered, impressed. “I mean, all you did till a few months ago was have sex every time you touched down, right? Your body would be missing that level of attention….”

“Gordon…. Please don't…I -” John pleaded again as he panted, his attempt to fend his brother off was half - hearted since most of his concentration was focused on trying hard not to make a mess in his boxers.

“Let me, John.” Gordon whispered as soothingly as he could. He noticed that his brother was trying hard to resist him so he shifted his sibling against the desk again so he could lie against him and lower the smooth trunks so he could see what was hidden down there and smiled to himself.

No wonder he was Scott’s lover for so long.

“Gordon….”

He ignored his brother's pleas and went for it, using his tongue to stroke him as he teased and played, bringing him into his mouth and out again. 

He could hear John quietly take deep breaths and could hear the thump as one arm thudded against the desk as his brother reacted again trying to grab for something - anything - to keep himself under control.

Gordon knew how to fix that. He hadn’t learned how to pleasure Lady Penelope without a few tricks of his own, all he had to do was transfer those skills from loving a woman to loving a man. He paused to lick his fingers before inserting them, shifting in surprise as John's knee and his foot banged violently on the underside of the desk from the intrusion and Gordon was impressed that it only took one to get such a reaction where's with Penny he almost had to use his whole hand in the right positions raising the level of complication which he always started to mess up once things got going. Clearly, John was far easier to pleasure or his brother was far more sensitive in his sickly condition than he realised. 

He returned to entertain his erection while sliding his finger in and out and within minutes he could feel his brother go ridged before he came and Gordon pulled back in shock, coughing hard as he hadn't expected it as his brother's cum dripped from his lips.

Holy crap there was alot built up there! He pulled off his shirt to clean up the mess and glanced at his older brother who looked worse than spent, leaning against the desk drifting in and out of an awake state. 

“Why….”

Gordon leaned John back into him, running his clean hand through his hair that was clumped with dry mud as he fixed his underwear. “Because you need to move on and get over Scott.

“But you're -”

“Straight? Yeah, so what? You're an exception for just this one time. Want to know something? Cum tastes the same regardless if you're a man or a woman… besides I was needing to give someone attention. Penny and I broke up some months ago but we haven't told anyone. High profile power couple rubbish to avoid tabloids - but it wouldn’t be her reputation that would be tarnished if it got out.”

He nuzzled John again and touched his fevered forehead. “I can’t even talk to her now without a fight or her calling me all sorts of names… then there's the looks I get from Parker who's super smug about us falling apart. Watching you go to pieces though…”

“I rather not see that.” he added after a pause. “At least Scott still wants to talk to you and Virgil while he doesn't know about you two wants to catch up with you sometime. Better than having them as enemies at any rate.”

“...still….” John mumbled. “You didn't have to do that.”

“Oh? Going to fight me about it?”

“No.” John mumbled, wincing as pain started to blossom behind his temples as heat started to develop in his throat because his body decided it was too weak to fight any cold he managed to catch while spending the night face down in the mud and the rain. He pulled Gordon close and kissed his strawberry coloured lips with as much passion as he could muster, taking his younger brother by complete surprise. “But I owe you now and you can't say no when I return the favor.” and with that he lay his head back down against Gordon’s chest as the fever he had been fighting washed right over him as he fitfully fell asleep against his siblings warm but cooling bare skin as the sweats were making him cold to touch.


	10. Mess

John awoke in his own bed, his head pounding and his throat dry and on fire. He rarely got sick and felt as if someone had tried to shove his head in a microwave while shutting the rest of his body in the doorway of a freezer.

Bleary-eyed he tried to figure out who it was placing a glass of water down on his empty bedside table and shivered when a large palm of their hand checked his temperature from his forehead.

“V...Virgil?” John eventually managed to croak out, his voice half gone and very husky. “Wh - where's Gordon?”

The bigger Tracy indicated a figure John couldn’t quite make out asleep on the end of his bed where his own lower legs and feet dangled off the edge. 

A wet flannelette hand towel was placed over his forehead and his eyes, not quite cooling his head down but at least easing his headache a little.

"Why didn't you say that you were sick John? I'm surprised with all the reads out from your watch, Brains didn't get to you first. You know he wanted to keep you in the infirmary? But Gordon argued that you'd be more comfortable in your own room. How are you feeling?" Virgil asked as he eased painfully back into the chair on a small inflatable float. 

“Like…..som...crawled ….dow…y throat...n died…” John replied before choking on his voice. Once it was clear he tried again, “Feel like someone who's swallowed a cheese grater. Sleeping drunk….n mud…doe-” he coughed hard, forcing himself to sit up as his whole body spasmed from the force required to expel air and fluid off his lungs. “-Doesn't do me any favors…” he shakily reached for the glass of water Virgil had brought in with him and looked a little confused when the wet face towel landed on his arm instead of magically sticking to his forehead. He had to admit he was probably the worst patient to look after as when he got sick which was rare, he got antsy and refused to stay in bed - though when all your belongings are mostly in space and your real bedroom is as bare as his was you could understand the underlying need to prevent boredom when ill.

"Here..." Virgil said as he dropped a couple of pills into John's palm. "Brains said you should take these when you woke up." He reached over to take the wet face towel and placed it on the bedside table. 

"I got something else that might help." Virgil said, a small bottle of Vicks vapor rub magically appearing in his hands. "You won't mind if I helped?" John shook his head. "Remember when Mum coddled us with this whenever we got sick as kids?" Virgil said as he rubbed the ointment on John's chest.

He didn't refuse, letting Virgil's large calloused palms massage the cold gelatinous gel, trying so hard not to fall forward into his younger brother’s broad muscular chest. Funny how two of his younger brother's were broader and far stronger than he was… Though Alan was starting to show signs of building that strong structure Scott has…

And he - the second oldest - was the weakling in the bunch.

“I miss... her.”

"I miss her too." Virgil said sadly as he finished running the ointment, using the discarded face towel to clean his hands. "I don't think we will ever stop missing her. She's too special. You know? You remind me of her sometimes." He said as he studied his older brother's features and tried to match it with sketchy image of his mother in his head.

"How the both of you are always so exceedingly patient and kind, especially to those who least deserved it. You have that kind of graciousness about you that she had too.." his voice trailed off softly.

"Anyway I'm starting to ramble here. I really need to get down to the silos to help Brains with Two's software update. Get some sleep while you can. You never get any sleep as is even when you were well. One day you and Scott both are going to give me my first grey hairs, with the amount of worrying I do over the both of you." And with that Virgil got up slowly from the chair but stopped when a thin pale arm grabbed his wrist.

“You… you and Scott… how - how did it start?”

"You curious huh?" Virgil laughed as he settled back once more onto his inflatable cushion.

"Well I guess it sorta started when we had our usual sparring match in the training room. We were a mess of limbs but we were both unwilling to concede defeat first. Then Scott sorta planted a kiss right on my lips - obviously caught me off guard - which he used to his advantage to win the match. Told me I should never let my guard down and just walked away. Didn't think much of it after a comment like that."

"Then he had that horrific accident in that kaolin mine cave in, almost lost his Goddamn arm because he was too stubborn to follow orders..." Virgil sighed at the horrific memory of having to stem the bleeding in Scott's arm. It was the only time that the blood bank in Two had ever been depleted on a single patient like that. Having to clean up Two's sick bay after that was just as traumatic as finding Scott's unresponsive body under all that rubble. 

"You know how Scott's always been a lousy patient. He threw a fit at having to stay in the infirmary. So Brains finally allowed him to rest in his own room but even then he was being too much of a dick to take any painkillers. It was my turn to watch him that night, so to distract him from the pain, I sat beside him and sang that made up song Mum used to sing to us before bedtime. Next thing I knew he started kissing me and confessing about all these feelings he'd been harboring since the last incident. One thing led to another and well I don't need to bore you with the details." Virgil said as he flushed a little with embarrassment. "Why the sudden interest though?"

 

"Oh... you know, just -" John coughed hard. "Wanted to know... we don't speak much."

John shifted uneasily. He remembered that incident and how much they all told him to fix the mess with the local governments for all the extra damage Scott caused trying to get him out. Everytime he tried to go down to visit something else cropped up in the way that needed to be sorted out before Tracy island was set upon by international police. It hurt seeing Scott's medical records and not being physically capable of sitting by his bedside. The fact it was the turning point for Scott to dump him for someone who was there for him was his nightmare of his heart being thrown against the wall on repeat again, more vivid and graphically bloody than before.

The one time he REALLY was need by his secret lover and he pretty much abandoned him. John was realising that he was a no good lover, one that not only didn't deserve his older brothers love - but the love of anyone else.

He felt like he was going to throw up. Everything Gordon told him about what Scott really thought of him was more true now when he had a reason to dislike him.

he shifted too fast to get out of the bed, waking up Gordon and pushing Virgil aside as he made a grab for him before he collapsed in the doorway of his bedroom. He felt arms try to grab him in his dazed state and swung his own arms wildly to fend them off. "No, leave me...leave me alone! Unless - unless you throw me...in...into the pool to drown me or toss me off....toss off the balcony -" he started coughing violently and slumped helplessly against the door frame.

Gordon managed to grab hold of his face just as his eyes rolled back and he blacked out.

"What happened Virgil?" Gordon asked, cradling John into his arms. "No actually don't worry I've probably got an idea." he let out a huge sigh. "I think... I think I might stay and keep watch." he looked in his older brothers eye's and his amber colours said the words to Virgil's chocolate browns that his lips wouldn't utter. 

John needed someone sitting on suicide watch..... something they had all done for each other at least once or twice... but never considered that John would need that level of supervision at any stage before.

As Virgil leaned in to help him, John started to feverishly fight them off again, this time however Gordon had him pressed tightly into his broad chest so he couldn't pull away.

“Nuggh! Let me...let me go!” John started to incoherently ramble. “I don't deserve…..nice...people being nice…even - even if it's…pity… Only… only person…and I failed...failed them, failed everybody….” he grabbed Gordon’s surfer leather necklace and pulled a little, “Can't hurt anyone anymore…. If -if I push….push away… be easy...unliked anyway….but -but then…” 

His voice started to go quieter as the fever started to take it’s toll and his emotions were starting to choke him. “I'd be ...be alone...so very very alone…rather die…die than live...alone.”

Gordon felt tears splattering lightly on his chest as his brother caved into his darkest fears.

“What's he going on about Gordon?” Virgil’s voice was highly concerned.

“Something I think that's been building up for a very long time, Virge.” Gordon looked at him with honest eyes without giving much away. “I think it's just suddenly all sort of hit him at once. Look around you, does this honestly look like the bedroom of someone who's young, in the best years of their life and enjoying it? I bet you five grand that his tiny cabin on Thunderbird Five is just as bare as this room. Heck, check the cupboard! He only has maybe three shirts that are NOT uniforms and one damn pair of pants! You and I have FOUR TIMES that!”

He sighed as he cradled John close, afraid that if he let go his older brother might vanish never to be seen again unless it was as a dead body somewhere, something after the last few days of spending time with him was a thought he never knew could ever cross his mind. He learned so much about John in such a short time and was hoping it wasn't too late to reconnect with his sibling...he just needed time.

“Smell the air in here, Virgil. Can you tell what it is? It's toxic and self destructive and we've just let him drink stuff as strong as Absinthe and smoke Weed to deal with his problems to the point where he hasn't even realised until now that we all rag on him and talk to him as if he is a robot without feelings or emotions… fuck we were all going to go on a holiday and not tell him, expecting him to just hold the fort for us and be ok with it the moment he stepped down home and none of us were here.” Gordon’s face burned red as tears of his own started to well up and trickle down his face. “John thinks he's a monster and the most hated person on the planet and we've all been utter bastards and just helped cement that in his head. Personally I think Scott DESERVES every nasty little prank John has inflicted on him but then, John probably thinks he deserves the lack of respect and feelings... by now he's going to stop trying to make Scott feel as humiliated as he does… I mean if he's thinking about … you know - it's become far deeper the wounds in his head than just the cuts in his heart.”

"Hey now Gords, don't you start breaking down on me too. Come on, let's get John back to bed first alright?" Virgil didn't wait for an answer, as he once again scooped John up in his arms for the second time that day. Once John was bundled back into his bed, Gordon made no move to leave, so Virgil tucked him into bed beside John. He waited till both his brothers were asleep before he left the room, his thoughts running a mile every second replaying John's and Gordon's words over and over. Right now there was only one person who could give him the answers he needed, Scott.


	11. Unsatifactory

Virgil found Scott in the kitchen working on some paperwork for Tracy Industries. He smiled when he saw Virgil walk in. "God damn it, how Dad used to handle this much paperwork and IR I'd never know." Scott said as he stretched lazily in his chair but barely got a response from his lover. "Hey? Is something wrong?" He asked.

He sat down opposite facing Scott, more than a little apprehensive on having what he might uncover. "I found John collapsed onto Gordon in a feverish heap under Dad's desk. He said a couple of interesting things in his delirious state." 

"Shit..." Scott cursed, he was eventually going to come clean to Virgil about his prior relationship to John, especially after all the recent pranks he pulled on both of them but certainly not under these circumstances. "What did John say?"

"Does it matter?" Virgil said flatly. "Was it true?"

Scott rubbed his face in frustration. "What do you want me to say Virge? Whatever I had with John is long over... Please, I can't lose you over this too..." He said as he reached out for Virgil's hand. 

Virgil pulled away almost as if he was scalded by Scott's touch. "So it's true then? You and John were an item? What does that make me Scott? A convenient replacement or a casual rebound?" Virgil got up to leave. "You know this wouldn't have hurt so much if you respected me enough to let me hear it from you instead of from a broken hearted John." 

Scott moved to go after him. "Don't ok? You can come find me when you're ready to tell me the whole truth - Not before. I need some time to sort out my own thoughts too." Virgil paused at the stairs. "It would be nice for you to show John some concern you know? He's still your brother too." And he walked off leaving Scott to take out his frustrations on the stack of reports on his desk.


	12. Jerk

Gordon awoke to the sound of voices but stayed buried into his older brother in fear of the visitor becoming aware of his alert presence. It seemed important, whatever it was as John who was now slightly more lucid was able to reply without shutting down like the day before. Gordon could hear his nervous and labored breathing and feel the beat of his heart pounding hard in his chest, then when he finally spoke, his horse and husky voice vibrated in his ribcage in an alarming but strangely attractive way.

“I know it's all my fault now… if - if could take all that wasted time back…I would.”

“Yes, well it's far too late for that.”

“You could have told me, I would have changed everything just to be there for you…you didn't need to tell everyone that I was such a… lame human being. Heck you could have broken up with me properly months ago if that's how you felt…instead of stringing me along thinking that we were just…” Gordon felt his brother take a deep breath.

“It doesn't matter now...but I guess there isn't any reason to ever leave space now once I'm back up there. You were…the only life I had and now there's nothing - nothing to want me to return here.”

“Well… not exactly.”

“Really? Could have fooled me. Everyone avoids me like I'm some freak of nature and I have the social skills of a blunt stick to the back of the head. I look like a zombie from Alan's video games and I'm pretty sure my personality and everything else that normal blokes have at our age is non existent. Face facts Scott, dropping my sorry arse was probably the best thing you ever did…and I accept that.”

“Then… what about this?”

“I’m not sure…but if he's the only genuine thing left that I haven't broken by being an unreliable arsehole then me leaving as soon as I can means...means I don't get the chance to repeat my mistakes.”

“Did you ever think your getting a second chance to try and be a real brother again?”

“Do you think so?”

“Pfft No, however you have surprised me before - even if it was a long time ago. I have my doubts that you won't utterly fuck it up, so maybe it's best you step out of the picture.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Scott.”

“Take a damn hard look at yourself John. You're not worth wasting time on for anybody anymore unless it's work related. Sure it's shit to be told the truth but someone has to tell you that you're nothing special, heck I wouldn't waste time suggesting that you could try meeting someone at Lady Penelope’s high tea garden party this weekend! You're a human toast rack and that is one - NOT sexy and two you don't have anything to have an engaging conversation with. If anything you'd only make a fool of yourself - which even though you're sick, you're still managing to be an idiot.”

Gordon heard a deep growl resonate from John's chest cavity before he spoke next. 

“I was worth it once. I was fucking sexier than you for a start.” Came the low snarl. “All those years wasted sneaking around spending all my free time with you when I could have sunk it all into being a better person, a better brother heck even a more useful bloody son! It wasn’t really entirely wasted though, at least not for you. You still got to do everything you wanted, spend time hanging out with everyone…. But my free time was nothing else but about you. I damn loved you so much I guess I was blinded by stupidity thinking I was helping you by taking all your damn workload off your shoulders… sure I fucked up big time by not being there when you needed me but I've just realised something - you wouldn’t be who you are without me or the things I did for you…. So you can go fuck off. I take back any apology I've tried to give because quite frankly, I'm not the only one to blame for this messed up state I'm now stuck trying to pull myself free from.”

“Your a loser John. Don't you come crying to me when you've screwed up Gordon too.”

“That's where you're wrong, Scott. I'll damn prove it.”

“Pfft! Good luck!”

Gordon heard the sound of heavy footsteps and the vicious slamming of the bedroom door. When silence descended he felt John run his fingers gently and playfully through his hair, assuming -or at least hoping- he was still asleep.

“Question is… how?” John coughed. “I've already stepped off in the wrong direction…Gordon, I'm not sure why you're trying to be nice to me but I'm going to make sure your trust in me isn't miss laid. That's an impossible promise, I know but that's what we do right? Make the impossible - possible.”

Gordon remained quiet as John started to drift off again. He really had to help try and save his older brother from himself now that the stakes had been raised.


	13. Wanting reasons

Only half a pack of cigarettes later did Virgil retreat back inside. He didn't realize how cold he had been till he stepped into the warmth of the house. It was late and everyone had gone to bed, he was just grateful no one went looking for him when he had skipped dinner for Virgil was one to never miss a meal or a chance to sleep in. 

Today had been long and exhausting from finding John delirious with fever to Gordon's frantic outburst to his confrontation with Scott. Virgil wanted nothing more than to sleep it off. He opened the door to his room and saw that everything which was not nailed down had been glued stuck to the ceiling. Virgil wondered for a brief moment if he had lost his mind. 

John... you nutter... he thought to himself as he laughed. It was too late to start on dismantling the furniture without waking up the rest of the family. So Virgil laid flat on the floor hands behind his head, gazing at all his upside down furniture. It may not have been John's intention but this alternative view reminded Virgil the solution to every problem was simply to view it from a different angle. 

Virgil sighed knowing that loneliness was probably what drove Scott to seek him out. Thinking back John was slammed with reports and meetings with the GDF and the local government trying to deal with the fall out of Scott's reckless behavior and subsequent accident.

What Virgil was mad about though was that Scott had kept the truth from him, like he wasn't worth it and it made him feel disrespected. Or maybe Scott was too afraid of how he'd react? Speaking of reactions, Virgil wondered how things had exactly ended between his two elder brothers, even knowing or rather guessing what had happened so far, John's reaction still didn't make much sense. 

Trying to think of answers that Scott clearly wasn't willing to share, Virgil started drifting off to sleep on his bedroom floor where his dreams were just as confusing.


	14. Returning the favor

John awoke still hot under the collar and was face to face with a giant stuffed baby blue bunny rabbit’s beady eyes.

He reacted in mild fright and elbowed something rather hard behind him.

“Ow! Hey careful John! There's no room here!”

John sat up hurriedly, his head was barely functioning and the sudden movement had him almost reeling over in wanting to vomit. Gordon’s arms flung around him.

“Easy there, Tiger. You're still sick and by the looks of it, going to be at least a week before you're going anywhere.”

John rested his head on his brother's shoulder till the wave of dizziness went away.

“I thought I put that bunny away…”

“You did, along with the other stuffed toys I put on the bed from your wardrobe. I wanted to try and… you know make you feel comfortable as well your room -”

“Is empty?”

“Yeah.” Gordon said sheepishly.

“Sorry about that… I put them away after that night of drinking. I wasn’t responsible and didn't look out for you like I should of.”

“Oh?” Gordon then realised where John's train of thought had headed. “You think of me when you see them huh?” he smiled.

John blushed shyly and Gordon's smile went wider. “It's sweet.” he said quietly. “Does different things remind you of us when you're alone all the time?”

Gordon let out a laugh as his brother nodded. Very slowly he was seeing why Scott found John interesting when they probably first started being with each other all those years back. Sure, John was hard to understand or get along with but Gordon was beginning to see how none of it was his fault. His older brother was fairly shy and quirky but very defensive, as if afraid to let someone get close they would hurt him. Getting to be intimate with someone like him was not just interesting but could be challenging if something was to get inbetween you and your relationship.

Things like being a loner and hard working tendencies were the incredible drawbacks that Gordon could obviously see - however because he knew that in advance, those things might not be such a problem if you were aware of them, knowledge - something he wished he had in his relationship with Penelope as guessing her every emotion and her personality had cost him dearly and put him in alot of avoidable situations which lead to their relationship ending in a pretty violent argument of her throwing things at him until he was clear of the hotel foyer.

These feelings he was having for his brother wasn't because he was on the immediate rebound from that… though he was no longer wondering why he was having them, having himself finding more and more things that was upping the level of attraction towards him.

“I also found something else buried in there under the stuffed animals.” Gordon said carefully. “Uh…” he hesitated, reaching under John's bed where he stashed it. It was a shoe box that contained ‘other’ toys and Gordon had no words to describe what any of them were.

John went pale and threw a sheet over the box faster than Gordon could open the lid to show what was inside.

“You… I uh..”

Gordon smiled, resting his hands on his brother's shoulders. “I've already seen them, John. There's nothing in there that makes me think you're anything other than human. Everyone has something naughty in their possession, even I do… though not to this level, I mean I didn't know these things existed for guys! I thought these things were for ladies only!”

John went red and slowly removed the sheet. “No… you can use alot of them too, though sometimes you can buy specifically gendered things.”

Gordon opened the box and tried to keep calm and not laugh in his brother's face about what was inside, he didn't want his sibling to suddenly shut him out of this little strange piece of his life. Afterall sex was normal and natural and the fact that none of them ever discussed or joked about it said volumes about the distance between them all as family had become.

“I know what some of this stuff is…” Gordon said thoughtfully. “The question is how come they're all still in their plastic wrap? Ok except for that one - but the rest…”

“I've never been game enough or had time to use them.”

“Really?”

“Even if Scott bought most of them for me.”

Gordon’s eyes widened. “You're joking!”

John shook his head. “He thought I'd use them while alone in Five. I honestly couldn't think of anything more embarrassing especially when calls come in at random and you're constantly being followed around by cameras…I know they're not on and used by EOS but I don't feel safe enough up there…”

“Fair enough.” Gordon nodded. “I don't think I could inside in Four either even on those long missions on my own, I'm always expecting someone to buzz in to check on me.” he realised that also included John in that lumped annoyance and he was quick to rectify that. “Virgil and Scott mostly, they tend to worry about nothing and can't hold a conversation so calling is a waste of time. You at least talk to me for a while, which sometimes I look forward to if there's alot of waiting around involved.”

Gordon pulled out the only open one and smiled. “I guess that's a training one right?”

“Yeah…”

“Why is it so small? I mean there's big massive things in here and you've only played with the smallest?”

“Scott’s not that big, Gordon. What would be the point in practicing with something larger when your lover isn't going to match that when you…. You know…” John left the sentence hanging.

“Really? Scott’s compensating?” Gordon couldn’t contain his amusement. “No wonder he's got a short fuse and got an ego the size of several soccer fields!”

“He's not THAT small!” John went really red in the face. “Just average. Like you'd assume most people are.”

Gordon looked at his brother questioningly. “Really? Have you seen other people's to compare him to have you?”

“Well no, I wouldn't exactly say the guys in magazines are ‘average’.”

“Ah yeah… these things.” Gordon pulled a few loosely torn out magazine pages that were hidden in the box. “You got a thing for thick monster sized guys right?”

John fell very quiet and Gordon realised he might have gone too far mentioning the beefy man candy with erect organs the length and width of a huge stick of salami.

“Nothing wrong with having fantasies, John. I mean - straight guys dream of girls with big breasts and pert arses, so it's ok for you to have ones of guys with buff Charles Atlas bodies with dicks the size of house pipes.” Gordon tried to reassure him.

“I did years ago….. I think those things are kind of crap now.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. If you have manufactured muscle like these guys you wouldn't have a cock the size and length of a horse.” John admitted. “These guys are all dehydrated and steroid created. They'd have no balls let alone cocks.” 

Gordon laughed. “Oh god I'd hate for Virgil to hear this!”

“Virgil isn't one of these guys. I'm pretty sure he's got more assets than Scott can cope with.”

“Really?”

“Well he had issues with me and I'm not all that.” John blushed. “I've seen Virgil in speedos by the pool before, he's got to be like being pounded like a raging bull with the horse sized -” he coughed. “Er, sorry I shouldn't talk about our brothers like this it's really creepy.”

“No, actually it's pretty amusing!” Gordon chuckled. “I'm seeing both of them in a way I never have before!”

“You mean Penny and Kayo never talk about us like they're perverts?”

“Well Kayo certainly does.” Gordon grinned. “Though not about Scott or Virgil specifically, more about you since well - come to think of it, we've all speculated your sexuality more than once.”

“Well I guess it's out of the bag now.”

“I'm not so sure. Even if Scott tells Virgil about the two of you I doubt Virgil will be public about it. Just because their out of the closet doesn't mean everyone else is comfortable or ready to be so.” Gordon assured him again. “Also don't feel embarrassed, you don't need to be around me. I've seen and done a few things…it's rare I have someone to talk to about these things… it's quite helpful knowing that sex isn't this messy awkward thing just for me - but can be for everyone.”

John seemed to be thinking. “Didn't you say Kayo had a little fantasy involving us two?”

“Yeah I did.” Gordon chuckled. “She thinks I'm in for bat with both teams.”

“Well…are you? I mean… after the other day…”

“Want the truth?”

“Please.”

“I've thought about it. I'm curious as to what it's like but wasn't game enough to try it till well - you really did need that the other day. Getting frustrated with tiny things isn't like you, even if I'm not entirely sure who you are under the drugs, alcohol and depression… but I want to make the effort to find out as I think…I think your lost under all that stuff too. Maybe this break up with Scott is a good thing for you? Maybe you were in a rut that needed to be broken?”

“I...I guess.” John conceded.

“John, if you kept going like this even if you were still with Scott, you'd eventually kill yourself. I - I wouldn’t want that to happen to you….” he hesitated and straightened up before John caught on to the fact he was trying to give his brother hints that he had feelings for him. John wasn’t ready to move on just yet and even if he was, there was a high chance he wouldn’t be repeating his mistake of going for one of his brother’s again… Unless…

Gordon lifted a big black leather looking thing from the box and grinned like an idiot. “Would this ever fit inside someone from behind?”

“Possibly. I’d assume so.” John tipped the end of it and showed Gordon the base. “It’s even vibrates.”

“OHHHHH.” Gordon mused as the switch was flipped and the large penis shaped dildo wriggled in his hands. “Goddamn that’d feel weird on the inside of your butt.”

John shrugged. “You get used to it I guess. That area is pretty sensitive, more so for guys. You can have them if you like, I never use them and probably will never use the small one again either, though I suggest maybe scrubbing the crap out of it first… I mean I do anyway because I’m a neat freak about somethings but I don’t think I’ll ever be wanting them again.”

“And why not?” Gordon asked, mildly curious. “You're not going to say something stupid like you’re never going to have sex again as that’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

“I just don’t want to be reminded that Scott bought these for me. It makes me feel ‘cheap’ I guess.” John shrugged again.

“No ‘Cheap’ would be YOU buying these for yourself and then getting more pleasure out of them than out of your lover and I can clearly tell you preferred real intimate interactions with a living person than a bit of rubber and plastic.” Gordon said as a matter of factually. “Also, what do you mean you’re nothing special? I sucked you off the other day and fuck me, I swear if Penelope saw you naked she’d be trying to get down your damn pants! Ok so you're not hung like a horse like you suspect Virgil maybe, so what? You’re pretty impressive yourself down there, damn any straight woman would fight each other to have THAT inside them. I wish I could say the same for gay guys but I dunno how they think… But if you were to REALLY ask for MY opinion-” Gordon took a deep breath, “I’d want to know how deep that could go inside of me.”

John flushed red again and this time almost choked on air. It was bad enough he was struggling to flush his brain out of having sexual fantasies involving Gordon and now his younger brother had said this outloud and to his face…..

Gordon was either ignoring John or distracting himself from laughing by analyzing the vibrating toy in his hands. “Hey John,” He said eventually. “That favor you owe me… can I ask for it now?”

“Uh… sure… what do you want me to do?” John stuttered. He had not expected Gordon to ask for it to be repaid so soon.

Gordon leaned in and kissed him passionately on the lips taking him by surprise. “I know you’re not exactly ready for a relationship but could you… humour me and play with me and these toys of yours? Just for fun?” Gordon purred and whispered, “starting with this big leather one…I’d love you to put that into me while I pleasure you.”

John turned that ghostly white again, this time with hints of light rosy pink across his nose and his cheeks. “Are you serious!?” he stammered.

“Yes. Maybe if it goes well I might ask you to fuck me too… but we’ll see. I don’t want to push anything onto you.”

“Uh… this might already be far too much…I mean… I uh… You -you like me to do this with you?”

“Uh huh.” Gordon pulled him into another kiss, this time pushing his tongue in to explore and smiling when he discovered something metallic tasting resting on his brother’s tongue. Interesting! His brother had a very small hidden piercing at the very back of it, where no one would notice unless in a medical emergency and long after he had choked to death on it being in the way. “But this - this is just sex, nothing else. Maybe… maybe next time when you're ready for something more we could… Take things further if you’d like to. Is that ok with you?”

“I don’t know Gordon… I don’t want to do this with you and we never…. And I end up hurting you or vice versa as we’ve found someone else to get truly serious with… this brother’s with benefits thing might not work out the way you hope it will.” John lightly pushed Gordon away. “I mean… I’ve been thinking about it...I’ve been wanting to pin you down and make love to you like there’s no tomorrow but I’m still afraid it’s too early and I’m just desperate. I mean sure I haven't had sex with Scott in over two months now…. But we only broke up not that long ago so I don’t really know where I stand right now. I mean technically it was over long before he officially told me but - I don’t know Gordon…. I don’t… don’t want to hurt you by going ahead with this and then making you hold onto a promise that neither of us can realistically keep.”

Gordon laughed. “That’s what I like about you. You think way too much about things. This time though John…” Gordon kissed him twice and held his brother close. “I want to see you just let go. If nothing ever happens beyond this then that’s fine - however if we don’t do this we’re going to keep dancing around one another till it does so we may as well do it now, while we have the privacy and the time to go a little crazy.” he pulled John into another kiss and started to fiddle with the buttons on his Pj’s. “What have you go to loose? It’d be no different to picking someone up at a nightclub and having a one night stand with them - except the fact we know each other.”

“Maybe you're right…”

“Course I am.” Gordon purred. “So… how about you tell me where you want me?”

John’s heart was racing. With his relationship with Scott, despite making the first move most of the time, he rarely ever got to control how the sexual interaction went. This was totally new, being allowed to call the shots.

“John?” Gordon purred in his ear again. “Where would you like me?”

“Was there any condoms in that box?” 

“I think so. How come?”

“It will make that more comfortable, trust me. If you've never had anything in there before you might appreciate it.” 

Gordon handed him the box and watched John cover the leather dildo with the thin latex and then squeeze a small blob of lube before running it over its length. It was done with practice and care making him wonder how often John was the safer one in the relationship. He got the feeling Scott wasn't insofar as John admitting in the night of drunken and drugged up fun that he was lucky he never ended up with anything. Maybe that's why he was hesitating? 

“Ok Gordon… take your pants off and…” he swallowed hard. “Almost sit above me… but with your back facing me.”

Gordon did as he was told and John shifted so he was under him and his heart almost jumped out of his chest and danced along the floor. Gordon had a very large package… sure it wasn't long but goddamn those magazine pictures were nothing in comparison to how wide and thick he was. Damn if John had half of that…. Maybe Scott wouldn’t have gone after someone else.

“Oh hell… you - you really have a conversation piece there Gordon.” John stuttered, flushing pinker in the face.

“You think so? Penny said it didn't fill her the right way...whatever the hell that means.”

“Her loss.”

“Really?”

“Gordon, I don't think I could fit that into my mouth let alone dare think you couldn't fill me…” John admitted shyly. “You should be the one in those pictures not those fakers.”

“That's high flattery… no one's ever said anything nice about me down there before.”

“Well hopefully I'm not the last.” John smiled sweetly. “Uh…can you bend over so I can…”

“Sure.” Gordon leaned forward, stretching out to rest his arms by John's waist.

“Think warm thoughts and don't clench, whatever you do. This will hurt, I'm not going to lie but if you're relaxed it won't be so bad.”

“Did it hurt, your first time?” Gordon asked.

“Yes.”

“Even if he was small?”

John laughed, his nervousness forgotten. “Yeah. I guess the kissing and stuff helped though...I don't know, is this going to be ok without any foreplay? You sure you want me to do this without…”

“I'm sure.” Gordon said full of confidence. “I've been lying with you the entire time you've been in bed unwell. I've sort of being teasing myself by doing that.”

“I see.” Gordon could feel John's warm breath against his erection and it made his shiver. He couldn't see his brother lick one of his fingers before inserting it, the feeling making him gasp before something else was pressed gently there before being pushed in.

“HOLY SHIT!” he yelped, gripping and digging his nails into John's waist.

“Easy Gordon! Take a deep breath and give it a few minutes. I won't push it right in till your ready.”

Gordon’s eyes went wide. “You mean it's not?”

“It's only got the tip in.”

“Fucking hellfire!”

“I can take it out if -”

“Don't you dare! Just… far out how the hell can you find this comfortable?”

“You'll find out once I get it in there.”

“You sure about that?”

“Positive. Hang on, I think I've got an idea…”

“An idea? Wait, what exactly are - OH fucking hell!” Gordon growled loudly like a wild animal. He tried to look under him but couldn’t see much however he could feel his manhood was now all warm and being stroked by something wet. It dawned on him that his brother was giving him a blow job to distract him.

He gripped John tightly as his body began to shake. Forget the times he had done this with Penny - John was an expert with that tongue! Granted he may have more experience than Penelope in that regard but hell, he was clearly in the hands of a professional who knew exactly how to please!

It was doing it’s job too, Gordon could feel the toy going in further slowly until it pushed against something ‘very’ sensitive he didn’t realise existed.

He yelped with a mixture of pleasure and pain. He had NEVER felt anything like it before. Was this why so many guys wanted to try it, gay or straight? With the added extra sensations coming from his hard erection he was sure he wasn’t going to last at all. His entire body was shuddering with delight like it never had before and he had to do something to make things a little more interesting. 

Frantically he pawed for the box in between labored breaths and tore the wrapping off something quite large that looked a bit like the smaller training knob that John admitted that was similar to Scott’s actual size. It was wider too and Gordon didn’t have time to consider that John may have avoided using it for a reason, he whimpered and almost collapsed in a heap as he struggled to put a condom on it one handed and clumsily smeared lube everywhere as the intensity on his lower regions increased bringing him to the tipping point where he was just barely hanging on from letting go in a very strong orgasm. 

He was determined to not let go without sharing how good it felt and tugged viciously at John’s PJ pants, kissed the long member that was hidden there and inserted the slippery toy.

He didn’t expect John to buck in shock as violently as he did. One of his knees clipped Gordon in the face giving him a blood nose and he started to choke with his brother’s erection in his throat. John tried to call out for him to get off him but couldn’t get it out. He pushed his brother hard to get him to move and eventually rolled Gordon off onto the floor before sitting up and coughing his lungs out until his chest was so sore he was bent over double gasping for air.

He reached down and removed the toy and threw it so it skittered across the carpet before flopping back down on the mattress, breathing hard as if he had been deprived of oxygen.

Gordon was also pretty quick in removing his own obstruction but with alot more wincing and a yelp once it was free.

That could have gone SO MUCH BETTER.

“Are you ok John?” Gordon got up to check on him. “I’m sorry I really didn’t mean -”

“It’s - it’s ok I got a fright. I wasn’t expecting you to do that.” John admitted, tears smeared down his face. “Oh snap did I do that!?” He sat up fast again, fought the inevitable dizzy spell and pulled the sheet across to try and stop the blood dripping from Gordon’s nose. “I’m so sorry!”

“Heh, yeah and it’s my own fault. I wanted you to feel what I was getting and I guess I overestimated what you were ready for.” Gordon tried to give his older brother a reassuring smile which was difficult to do with a section of bed sheet stuffed up one nostril.

John looked really hurt. “I’m still really sorry Gordon. I mean I may have been active with Scott and all for a long time but I… I mean I never…I don’t know what you used to get up to with Penny but damn not all of us are adventurous like that!” it then hit him really hard. “Fuck I AM boring aren't I? Even in the bedroom!”

“Uh yeah no, I don’t agree with you there.” Gordon gave John a dirty look. “Ok so you’ve never tried to see what your limits are, that’s not a crime.” he poked him hard in the toast rack of a chest. “However you’re FAR from boring, Brother dear. Fuck me if I didn’t get too excited there and went over board you would have succeeded in making me not just cum but bloody beg you to do it over and over again!” Gordon looked sincere. “Hell ok sure I might have blown it now but I’m gonna be begging you to do that again with me once my nose stops bleeding because fucking hell you’re able to work freaking magic! You know the WHOLE TIME I was doing these things with Penny I NEVER ONCE got to cum? Fuck it was really hard to stay excited with some of the shit she asked me to do. All these elaborate kinky things like fucking love eggs and nipple clamps to name a few of the stranger things… and all you did was fucking start sucking me off! Even if I didn’t ask for that thing in the backside I swear to the damn devil just your tongue was enough! Shit were you THAT good with Scott this entire time? Fucking hellfire he’s got to be kicking himself if he has to start from scratch with Virgil!”

“Give it a rest, Gordon.” John became shy again. “This whole favor was a complete stuff up. How can you think this was a great time?”

Gordon snorted. “Uh how could you not? Unpredictability is a good thing! You can't tell me you didn't feel a bit excited by trying to take it further!”

“Well…. You're not wrong there..” John caved a little. “Just I dunno, I wasn't ready for that extra.. level?”

Gordon smiled. “Well then I guess I should take a few steps back next time.”

John looked at him confused. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean that I really want to take a few steps backwards and get to know you and what you like better. If… if I knew you a little better I wouldn’t have done something stupid.” Gordon blushed for the first time in John’s company, confidence all gone. He never felt so open with anyone before and it was as if he was more than naked - he was completely exposed infront of John, a situation he never thought could ever happen around anyone.

He sighed heavily realising he totally messed up any chance he could have had - at least until a hand turned his head and John softly nuzzled his nose and kissed him on the lips.

He was in a mild shock. He really thought he screwed everything up but right here, this moment, John was making moves on him. Gordon let himself be lead into his brother's gentle display of affection and was rewarded with his sibling turning his body to jelly just by touch.

“John…” Gordon mumbled a little confused but was shushed by a finger lightly pressed to his lips. The older of the two started to kiss his down his neck while stroking his body and using his mouth to lick and nip him till he pushed him back into the mattress among the stuffed toys before teasing his nipples and eliciting gasps and surprised little moans from Gordon, who had no control over his body anymore.

While he was distracted, John slid on a new condom and a little lube before he returned to teasing him again, making sure Gordon was physically ready before he took the next step.

The shorter Tracy arched his back off the mattress and dug his fingers into John's shoulders as he wrapped his arms around his neck tight as his body was entered, this time by his older brother's warm, hard long erection and tried to muffle his little yelp of surprise. Unlike the toy which felt solid and unyielding, John felt slimmer, softer and a little more flexible as he pushed as deep as he dared leaving Gordon wondering why he didn't ask John properly in the first place.

He was impressed by how little noise John made, sure there was some purrs and growls but they were low and quiet and Gordon could barely hear them over his own heavy breathing and loud squeaks and moans of excitement. Shit - He really was the perfect secret lover for anyone still unsure they were ready to come out of the closet. Truly he had the ability to make you feel sexy and special in all the right ways making Gordon feel a little guilty for his impulsiveness before…but then, it was always him being the one trying to please a lover who was never satisfied or happy with anything he did… and he started to assume everyone was like that in the bedroom.

“Nuhhhuhhh Ahhhh uhhhh….” Gordon couldn’t keep his feelings in check. It was as if his body was an instrument that only John knew how to play and make sweet music with but then his brother's hands and his kisses were like beautifully written words across his skin like the greatest love story that had gone untold until now as he was gently leafing through the pages and Gordon was the one reading it outloud while John was colouring in the pages with more erotic words and magnificent art.

His senses were overloaded and he wasn’t aware he had cum all over himself and John till his brother had pulled out and started to clean him with his tongue, lapping up every trace of sticky fluids till he was laughing and squirming among the toys.

He struggled to sit up and noticed John holding the little thin bit of clear latex full of the same from him and in one way his felt guilty his brother's orgasm went to waste but relieved that his legs were not going to be covered after his first ever time. Maybe in the future that might change but for now because they had no idea where they were going with one another - if this was a one off thing or could potentially be something more.

He really wanted the second option…. John was turning out more worthwhile than just a one night stand. It was like an addiction and he wanted so much more. Little did he know John was feeling the same, his older brother coming back and lying with him, nuzzling and kissing him till he dozed off buried between him and a giant stuffed teddy bear.

To say no to this when the question of finally taking things seriously was to come would be insane but to lock John into another relationship so fast without allowing him some freedom to enjoy being single, a little promiscuous, being himself and allowed to explore all different avenues of his sexuality, then Gordon would be as bad as Scott for failing to tell him he moved on, holding him into a position of standby if things with Virgil didn't work so he had someone to go back to. Ok Scott may not have thought about John like that but that's how Gordon was beginning to see it.

This time he thought - as much as he wants to keep John to himself now - letting his brother come to him naturally and call the shots sounded better than giving chase like he had done with Penelope and discovering that was the only part in the relationship that was fun. Give him room to spread his wings and if he keeps coming back and decides to stay then that might be better all around. He nuzzled John back before getting up and redressing so he could tidy up, clean the adult toys and put the bloody sheet in the wash before eventually coming back with a clean one to drape over John and cuddle back into him and the soft toys.

[](https://imgur.com/dvBlNjT)


	15. Better ideas

John walked past Virgil's bedroom and noticed him trying to unbolt things from the roof. Sure, Virgil was strong but there was no way he was going to get the bedframe down on his own without injuring himself. 

John grabbed the end that came free, much to Virgil's surprise and relief that he wasn't going to dismantle this disaster on his own. For a while Virgil worked in silence unbolting the other end of the frame while John held the end that was now free so it didn't fall on top of his sibling.

Eventually, Virgil broke the silence.

"Thanks John." He said gratefully as he smiled at his brother. 

"But are you feeling ok though?" He asked but was met by John's puzzled expression. Realizing his brother might not have been fully aware of his breakdown in front of both him and Gordon, he quickly said "I meant are you feeling better? As much as I appreciate the help, I'd feel worse if you over exerted yourself. You're not still running a fever are you?" Virgil asked his brows knotted with worry and he reached over to feel John's forehead. 

 

John let out a grunt. The bed frame was damn heavy, why was Virgil leaning on the stool to try and get his temperature when the last bolt was barely in and the bed was about to come crashing down?

“Virgil - bed first… it's heavy. It took four of us to hold it up here while MAX bolted it in place and while I can help a little, I'm only stopping it from landing on your head…. But it won't stop it coming down on mine….so please… this first…” John's cheeks were flushed as he readjusted the weight across his shoulders. He wasn't that strong, especially compared to Virgil and if he fully let go…

"Oh right right, sorry..." Virgil apologized. "Here... if you move over there slightly? I can get a better hold here... Yeah like that..." He said as he worked with his free arm to release the last bolt still holding the bed frame up.

Suddenly the whole weight from his end caused his legs to buckle as they lowered the frame to the floor, John having to wait till Virgil had his safely in the floor and coming to grab his end and let him free out from under it.

John sat on the floor panting heavily and rubbing one of his shoulders. He was beginning to feel an appreciation for his brother's insane natural strength until Virgil had his hand resting across his forehead again. He tried to brush him off but gave in as he was alot weaker than he felt. The romp with Gordon the day before had left him feeling slightly invincible but also pushed himself further than he was physically capable of.

Virgil was worried with how tired John looked, like he could fall asleep right where he was. "Just as I thought, you're still feverish." He didn't give John a chance to react, instead he scooped his older brother up in his arms and headed for John's room. 

"Don't get me wrong Bro, I appreciate the help. God knows I wouldn't have managed to get it down on my own. But you shouldn't even be out of bed." Virgil said as he gently placed John on his bed. 

Sitting at the edge he asked "Stop being so stubborn and just rest will ya? Anything you might need? Your humble manservant awaits his orders." He couldn't help winking playfully at John, it wasn't often he got to take care of his elder brother like this. Recalling all the times John hovered over him each time he had been sick as a kid, it felt nice being able to repay him back however little that may be.

 

John held onto Virgil's shirt. That brief moment being pressed up against him made his heart race like crazy. Damn Gordon for that conversation about beefy stud muffins the day before and the brief mention of what could be lurking down their brother's pants. Suddenly, he felt very hot and started to sweat and being this close to Virgil meant he could probably tell John hadn’t had a shower for several days. He pushed himself away hurriedly but didn't let go of his shirt and wondered how much help Virgil was willing to offer. Sure he wasn’t single and probably had an inkling John was gay now however he began to think about how much Virgil really knew.

Would John get away with a bit of perving? It certainly would make him feel better but would his sibling cotton on to him for doing so?

“I think I need a shower… can you help me?”

"Sure." Virgil didn't even blink at the request. Instead he grabbed the nearest soft toy on the bed and used it to bop John on the nose. "What's with all the soft toys anyway?" He laughed.

Clearly he wasn't expecting an answer as Virgil got up and started rummaging through John's chest of drawers. His heart lurched uncomfortably when the truth of Gordon's words about John's bare minimum personal belongings stared back at him as he opened them. "Er... what do you need? Where are all your towels anyway? Never mind... got it." It was easy to find something, when the cupboards barely held much to begin with anyway. Virgil frowned, making a silent promise to pay more attention to this fragile brother. Right now it was almost as if John was a ghost on the edge of fading away and crossing over to the 'other side' wherever that was. Virgil shook the morbid cobwebs out of his head.

"Never figured you were briefs kinda man John..." Virgil teased as he held up a pair of John's few briefs in his hands.

 

John gave Virgil a sideways glance. “Were you expecting G-strings?” he looked himself and cursed. “Damn! Not again! I really hate when Grandma mixes my washing up with Scott and Gordon's!” he rummaged a bit and frowned. “Where's my trunks? They're the only thing that you can wear under that damn space suit without serious chafing!” John looked pale. “Great, I have to hunt through Scott's wardrobe and Gordon's unwashed clothes piles…” he shuddered at the very idea of setting foot in either bedroom just to find his nice clean undies potentially covered in skid marks.

“Fuck, I have to buy more AGAIN!”

"Woah easy Tiger." Virgil said as he threw his hands up in mock defense. "Gords or Scotty huh? Well you should stay in bed, so be good stay here, will be back in a jiffy..." he said as he ran off.

A few minutes later Virgil the 'underwear stealing ninja' came back with an armful of underwear raided from both brother's rooms. He dumped them on the bed in front of John and laughed. "I didn't know which one were yours, so I just grabbed whatever was there. Thankfully both of them weren't in their rooms. Well? Take your pick." He said flopping into bed beside John.

"You'd want that shower before The Terrible Two use up all the hot water again. Brains still hasn't fixed that issue with the heater."

 

John pulled a face as he picked a pair up between his fingers and dropped them back into the pile, picked the entire lot up carefully in the bedsheet and dump it in a heap by the bedroom door. John wasn't bothered about much, but the few personal things he owned like underwear were something he was very anal retentive about when it came to his siblings possibly wearing them. He maybe still in the closet about being gay but he'd be damned if he was going to wear anything covered in skidmark stains. Seriously, whoever was wearing them needed to learn to wipe their damn arse!

John frowned and dressed in the mud covered clothes from a few days ago. At least the underwear was reasonably ok. Virgil walked back after ducking out to check if the bathroom was free in and looked confused at the bulging sheet on the floor and then at John, dressed in the filthiest smelly clothes he'd seen with arms folded.

“Forget the shower, Virgil.” John sighed heavily. “How about we hit the mainland for clothes shopping instead?”

"Sure. Just don't faint on me ok?" Virgil teased as he held John by the hand, not entirely convinced his brother wasn't going to collapse on him.


	16. Day trip disaster

"So... any stores in particular you wanna hit?" Virgil asked once they were strapped in Two's cockpit, casting a sidelong glance at his brother.

“Well besides the obvious, maybe we can look around?” John said with a bit of a smile. “I don’t know, nothing fancy I guess - never been into designer clothes like Scott or Alan. Ok maybe a brand name won't hurt but nothing that's over thirty dollars… we could look at some entertainment stores and stuff…” John shrugged. “Anything really, I don't get out much so this is a novelty for me.”

Virgil smiled, as he punched in a few buttons on Two's dashboard to start the pre launch procedures. "Ok Mr Tracy, your wish is my command. Department store it is then. We'd should go to the newer one, it's slightly further away but there'd be more options and with it being a weekday hopefully less crowded as well."

Suddenly the sounds of electronica filled the cockpit unceremoniously, causing both occupants to cringe as if in physical pain. Virgil hit another button to stop the music. "Damn it, remind me NEVER to allow Gordon to pick the music EVER! What was that trash?" He couldn't help laughing.

“Uh… I think that was Elton John’s Yellow Brick Road.”

Virgil looked at his brother surprised. “You know what that crap was?”

“Who doesn't? I wouldn't call it ‘crap’ but certainly not my taste.”

Virgil seemed to snort a ‘whatever’ and put some lengthy piece of orchestral music on, which was fine by John until the lecture on how much music was like fine wine - another thing Virgil loved to talk about.

John sighed. Virgil was a great brother but he had to admit, he was the last person you'd consider ‘upper class’ based on his outward appearance and the way he spoke, however he was like that chunk of golden ore, you had to dig beyond the earthy surface to find the wealth and by the greek gods did he have it in spades - hence why he was the perfect gay man's fantasy - the beautifully toned and structured body that was the perfect shape, the voice that was deep and poured over every word spoken like thick maple syrup and had such a refined taste in music, art - hell - practically everything that when you compared him to John who looked like he was more stuck up himself than a tent pole you could excuse any flaw that permiated the surface.

He couldn't take it anymore.

“Excuse me a second, I have to - go...you know.”

“Couldn’t you have gone before we left? Oh alright, just be back before we hit the mainland.”

John couldn't get out of the seat fast enough and into the cargo hold of Thunderbird Two away from his younger brother. Even being trapped on Thunderbird Three with Alan wasn't this bad and all the youngest did was rag on him for not being home for weeks.

He sighed. He wasn't being fair was he? Shit maybe all those drugs and alcohol he consumed affected his perception of others and himself all these years. He WAS boring as hell but at LEAST he could keep it contained and not inflict it on other people. He was finding his brother's could be boring too which was normal but he was surprised how much it was bothering him now he was forcing himself to go cold turkey.

That had to be it. There was no other explanation.

He raided the medical supplies and mixed a few things before sticking it into himself with a syringe. It wasn’t the same as smoking pot until he was maggoted enough to sit politely through Virgil’s lecture on fermented grapes but enough to suppress the cravings he was having for the drug. Fuck he was a mess but what else could he do? He couldn't bite into Virgil’s niceness because he was struggling to cope with being smothered, that wasn't fair.

Eventually he made his way back to the cockpit and sat back down, his head feeling a little fluffy around the edges of thought however at least he could stay coherent enough to pass as fine if Virgil started to ask him anything personal.

"That was quick. Everything ok?" Virgil looked at John who just smiled and nodded. Call him crazy but by the way John suddenly looked so relaxed, it was as if he had just jerked off whatever frustration he had back on the island inside the loo. Virgil thought he was probably being paranoid but wondered if John was more willing to part with information than Scott had been.

"So..." Virgil cleared his throat. "You and Scott were... er together before huh?" Why was he suddenly feeling hot under the collar? "How did things come to an end with you two?" He didn't realize how much tighter he gripped Two's steer at that question, his whole body tensed with anticipation for an answer.

John failed to notice his brother's reaction to his own question as his brain was off on its own minor acid trip, unfortunately it didn't stop his mouth from moving but it did numb the response he gave to his own ears, something he was going to regret later on as usual.

“Not much to tell other than being in the same room as Gordon and Alan mouthing off about you two, then walking into you both and have Scott pull me aside and say ‘it's over.’” John’s brow creased a little, some of the words he was saying were getting through his only defence against himself and his uncontrollable unused emotions. “I should have suspected something being brushed off everytime I wanted to spend time with him for the whole two months prior but I didn't have the time to think about anything much as twice a month at home with only four hours to spend on relaxation before going back to monitoring, coding and paperwork doesn't allow you to dwell on the obvious. Besides, when I wasn't wanted not just by him, but by everyone else I'd just go smoke and drink that time away before going back up….what else was there to do?”

“It...it wasn't just sex….at least… I thought so I guess I really have no idea as I fucking fried my brain whatever chance I got as an alternative.” John admitted, feeling disgusted in himself. “It was the only company I had…. Someone to talk to and just be in the same room with...I'm realising now that stuff could have been going so badly between us that I just failed to notice or just pick up on as I got so little chance to see it.”

John looked a little distant as he rested his head back on the chair and looked out the windscreen of the craft watching clouds flash by. “I really loved him…. I thought he felt the same. Maybe he knew I was a burden and utter trash and had to let me go just for his own sake? I'll never really know…. It hurts though, as all I think about is how weird and strange our first time was….and how I felt like...like it was something so special that only we had. I don't know how many fifteen year olds go from wanking off to magazines beside their older brother's to standing naked in front of each other wondering exactly how to initiate sex just to find out how it works. Maybe - maybe that was a stupid way to start a relationship? It should have been a one off but I guess it was addictive… like all the illegal stuff.”

“T-that first time….the kiss I gave...I was so scared that he wouldn't like it and push me away even though it was his idea, was like nothing I ever tried before….” he was starting to visibility tremble, unaware of it himself due to the brain feeling like it was now stuffed with cotton wool. “After a few pecks you could tell your were not the only one who was terrified to see what would happen so...I helped him….maybe that's where I made the mistake? It's my fault for touching him and getting him to touch me back?”

“It doesn't matter, I'm not fifteen anymore. I should be responsible for my own mistakes…. Which I think I repeated yesterday….but I needed that connection with someone so badly and Gordon was desperate to give it….though I suspect he needed it too….Fuck I'm a total screw up!” he ran his left hand through his hair and gripped it like he was about to just yank it all out. “The problem is though… if I said ‘No’ I'd have gone off and drunk myself to oblivion and beyond that…. Who knows what I could have done? I'm thinking about how much easier it would be for everyone if I just topped myself because the truth is once I'm back on duty no one will remember or care I exist and it will just go back into a hard reset of you all avoiding me when I am there and me slowly killing myself because there's nothing to stop me from doing much else other than more work. This - just going out off the island is so rare…. I may not WANT to go back home…. Why should I? There is literally NOTHING there for me other than self destruction and dragging other people down with me.”

He let go of his hair and sank into the seat of the chair. “I can't though can I? I promised Gordon I'd try and be a good brother because he actually came and asked me but how can I be there for him when I can't get my own shit together?” John rubbed his eyes and sniffed, holding the bridge of his nose. “To ask a user and abuser to help you get back on your own two feet is such a fucked up idea….ok so maybe he doesn't see that or doesn't care but I KNOW and THAT'S what makes it fucking HARD to deal with.”

For a moment Virgil didn't know what to say, John had shared more than he thought he would. John and Scott, now Gordon and John? How far did any of them go? What was John going on about with Gordon anyway? Shit, this was suddenly far more complicated than he thought. Alan was probably the only normal one left in the family.

"You really loved Scott didn't you?" Virgil said softly. "If it means anything I'm sorry for how it ended. It wasn't my intention to... I guess what I mean is that I would never come in between you two if I had known." He sighed.

"And please don't ever talk about yourself like that John. We might not show how much we appreciate having you around, but you're an integral part of this family too. We'd probably all fall apart without you, you know?" As if to reaffirm what he said, Virgil reached out and gave John's hand a light squeeze.

"It's our own fault for not noticing that you were falling apart. No one should turn to substances for relief. It's only temporary and it only leaves you chasing for the next high. We've all been taking you for granted and just using you conveniently as an emotional doormat. The fact that it was Gordon who spotted the warning signs first should be a good enough indication of that mistake." Virgil hadn't realized he had not let go of John's hand all this while.

"Truth is things are more than a little patchy between Scott and I, but if anything I'm a brother first a lover second. So please John, stop carrying the world on your shoulders. If you allow me to make it up to you, I'd be more than willing to be a listening ear anytime you might need. Hell, I may not be able to offer any solid advice or even help but I at least hope I'm a good listener?" Virgil laughed as he looked over at John briefly before turning his attention back on the skyline before them.

“Don't let things fall apart between you and Scott, Virgil.” John said quietly. “It was my fault it ended, not his. He's a great lover and a friend and deserves someone like you who's there for him to return love and affection to.” John let out an amused snort. “You're like the complete package, Virgil. You're brave, kind and really talented…. Smart too. Pretty sure Scott will fight anyone if they tried to take you away. He… he really loves you….”

John played with some of the dried mud in his pants for a moment before speaking again. “You know I figured you'd be at least be angry with me… or at least hugely disappointed that we were such a secret and that I've just turned my life and everyone else's to shit. Thought you'd be defending Scott and tearing into me about Gordon more…..I mean I don't deserve pity or remorse.”

"Why should I be mad at you? If anything I'm hella mad at Scott for not telling me in the first place. That he let me find out for myself and worse is that he refuses to talk to me about it..." Virgil sighed. "It makes me feel like maybe he thought that I'm not worth the effort. Like I'm not important or something. Right now? I don't even know where I stand with him."

"But you think way too highly of me. I'm not any of those things you said. My college mates could vouch for that. I'm the most boring person I know!" He laughed.

"And as for you and Gordon, I don't think I'm a hundred percent as to what you're going on about. But who am I to stop you? You know how Rome is basically just a city left behind in ruins and lost in time? If millions of tourists all over the world can see beauty in that, what makes you think you're anything less? Don't berate yourself like that John. You're worth more than you realize and anyone should consider themselves lucky to call you their partner. Never doubt that. I mean it." Virgil hoped his words made sense to John.

He looked over to see his older brother busy picking at the dried mud on his clothes again, this time with a high amount of concentration and looked a little bit concerned that most of his words probably didn't permeate into his siblings brain. What had he expected though? His brother had admitted to having a highly addictive drug habit, that his sex life was a minefield and was probably wrestling with himself a bit too much for anything else anyone said to him make sense.

The rest of the journey was in silence and most of the first few minutes of walking into the shopping complex, Virgil panicking when he lost sight of his sibling only to see him in a shop already buying clothes to change into, probably using his underused charge card.

He waited outside in the corridor to the men's room while John went to change, tapping his foot and stressing out that his sibling was doing more than just putting on clean clothes. Inside however John stepped out of the cubical straightening the shirt that poked out under the dark turquoise cashmere jumper, making sure it covered the high cut white denim jeans which despite being the longest and tightest leg size he could get, was so loose around the waist he had to add several notches to the belt around his middle to prevent them from falling down. This was a wake up call that his weight was a real problem now, if he couldn't keep the sleekest trousers up then you knew something was wrong when you were as naturally skinny as he was. At least the shirt and jumper - while not too loose - made it look like he had a body shape underneath and wasn't just skin and bones.

He washed his face in the sink and ran water through his hair till it was as neat as he could get it. Staring at his reflection he could see the dark marks under his eyes that were a sign of low Vitamin D against his pale features and the pinks of the tip of his nose, lips and ears. The only defining feature he had was those sad exhausted cobalt eyes and secretly he wished he had Virgil's powerful jaw line, Gordon's prominent dimples when he smiled, Scott's cool ice blue stare or Alan's smatter of freckles…...trying to find something about himself anyone would like and find attractive was impossible. Maybe it was a good thing they were only shopping and not ‘bar hopping’ as there was no way someone like himself who while looking smart all tidied up was ever going to be a worthwhile catch to any other man.

He eventually stepped out and looked shyly away from Virgil. No matter what he could dress in, he would NEVER look as good as his brother did.

He didn't wait to see if Virgil had any opinion in his looks - if he was into Scott then checking him out was the last thing he had got his mind and grabbed him gently by the hand and lead him to a huge book and music store before he let go and vanished amongst the shelves. He looked back and smiled when he noticed Virgil seemed happy to do his own thing amongst some magazines before wandering off and picking things of interest off the shelves he could read, loading his arms up with humour books and science fiction novellas before ending up in the section with all the music cds and players - stuff his brother's owned he didn't have that was all brand new to him. Sure, Brains was a great inventor who made these things if anyone of them asked, but to have something that was so ‘normal’ that other people had was something John found exciting.

He put all the books down and played with different headphones, messed around with various music players and gleefully picked up an old cd player - something genuinely obsolete but retro enough like old fashioned records and cassette tapes with a general interest to start hunting down old second hand disks to play in it in his spare time. He needed new hobbies after all and a cd collection from the 90’s and the early 00’s seemed like a great place to start.

The headphones though…. Wow there was so many to choose from and so many different sizes…. In the end he got a rather chunky pair that were slightly heavy but he figured it was better so he could also keep a com bead in his ear at the same time so he could multi-task to music on call.

He didn’t realised he had picked up so much stuff he could barely carry it and dropped half the books and the player on the floor. As he scrabbled to pick them up again a helpful clerk came to give him a hand and made him go red in the face. The bloke was young and very attractive and John instantly felt shy to be around someone so charming and nice, unfamiliar with being around total strangers.

“Stocking up huh?” the young man asked kindly with a smile.

John nodded and shyly said thank you as the clerk helped him take his haul to the counter, unaware that the fella was trying to chat him up at the same time. No one had ever flirted with him before so he had no idea how to respond. As he walked away he felt weird that he couldn't get his head around it which didn't bode well for any attempt to engage with strangers in the future. He had to make the effort - he needed to try and maybe meet SOMEONE who was not related to him to maybe strike a friendship with…

It was going to be impossible.

John dragged his newly acquired stuff over to a café where Virgil now sat, left the bags at his feet and like a bird, got distracted by another shop and wandered over to the store window.

It was a jewelry shop fully of highly expensive watches and the thing that caught his eyes was a silver men's watch that was styled with a beautiful galaxy and star pattern he had never seen before. He glanced at his own current watch with all its wiz-bang features Brains had installed and a desire to be normal washed over him as he glared at the blinking light which was probably Brains again ready to threaten him with an intervention about his drug habit with the rest of his family.

He slid it off his wrist and dropped it in the trash before walking into the store to buy the spacy looking watch that lacked all the nifty features of a holo phone and location tracking - things he never once used because who would want to locate a person who doesn't go anywhere or call him when they could just hook a direct line to Thunderbird Five?

After making his guilty purchase he eventually sat down with Virgil, who slid him over a plate with a chocolate cake on it. John looked at him a few minutes and sighed. This was as nice as Virgil was going to be towards him after their conversation it seemed, his brother no longer making eye contact with him nor speaking with him either.

He licked the spoon clean cautiously at first and was surprised how nice it tasted. Why couldn't he have been addicted to chocolate cake instead of sex, drugs and alcohol? He could have benefited from gaining weight, even if it was just puppy fat…. That would at least make him look less like a walking skeleton.

He glanced at Virgil again who seemed preoccupied with his phone, slumped a little dejected in his own seat and stabbed at the cake slightly depressed before taking another bite and playing with the spoon with his tongue. Maybe he could catch the eye of some attractive handsome stranger who'd take him home and keep him as a prisoner in their basement as a sex slave. Why not? It wouldn't be any different to his situation now…. Just with a person who wasn’t genetically related and maybe beating him every once in awhile.

Fuck, if that was his upside choice….

But then…. He told Virgil he had also had sex with Gordon… well sort of - maybe not in so many words. Saying it out loud to someone that you've had sex with another sibling just within a week of being dumped by another… John felt dirty. So very dirty and yet if Gordon asked him to do it again he would in a heartbeat because he was desperate for attention, needed physical contact and emotional support and sure it was the wrong way to go about trying to fill those voids but damn if anyone offered that to him he wasn't going to say no…. Which might eventually destroy him.

What else was there for him though? He was going to destroy himself regardless even if he tried digging and clawing his way back to something normal and respectful.

John was afraid.

Another bite, another absent minded look around the shopping center and thoughtful licking of the spoon.

Respect huh? Who'd be stupid enough to give him that? Scott had already cemented it in everyone's heads that he was boring and useless - probably for years too - that was going to be impossible to shake since he had no idea how to be ‘fun’ in another way than in the intimate and sexual….and he could be boring there too for all he knew.

Gordon… what was his straight as a plank sibling doing? Why was he wanting affection and sexual relief from him? Something was going on and his brain wasn't equipped to work it out just yet.

He looked at the remaining cake and realised he had eaten almost all of it in so few bites. It was so good though…. Maybe he could order another one?

Virgil looked up briefly from his phone and caught a glance of his brother licking the cake off his spoon. Aw hell was that a tongue piercing he just saw a glimpse of? Virgil would never have thought quiet John to have been rebellious enough to have piercings of any kind.

Suddenly he had wondering what kissing John would be like with that very interesting piercing. Or better yet what kind of heightened pleasure he might get if he begged John for a quick blow job? No he quickly scolded himself, taking advantage of his elder brother like that when he's still so emotionally vulnerable would be really low of him. He was desperate for some good sex though, especially after the last disastrous try with Scott. It had took Virgil ages to recover from that nasty burn, so long that he was actually starting to consider being celibate for the rest of his life. He laughed silently at that thought.

Virgil looked at John again, seemingly as if he was doing so for the first time. There was a certain elegance and an aura of grace that seem to always surround his elder brother. One that had even complete strangers putting their complete faith and utter trust in him even when they barely knew him.

That was what made John perfect for the role on Thunderbird Five. Even without seeing him in person or knowing what he looked like, the serene tone of that sing sound voice helped calm the victims till help in the form of the other Tracy brothers arrived. Virgil knew on more than one occasion that John's voice was the last thing the victims heard before they succumbed to their injuries. He never knew what John said to them in their final moments, but when he had sometimes been the one to carry the bodies out, that they looked at peace with themselves.

It was that same virtue that had all of them running to John for emotional support after a particularly difficult rescue. John gave bloody great advice while other days he didn't say anything just being a quiet listening ear. But whatever the problem was John never judged them for it. Virgil frowned a little when he couldn't remember a single instance any one of them had done the same for him in return. The words 'emotional doormat' came to mind and he mentally kicked himself for being as guilty as the rest of his brothers.

No wonder he had an emotional breakdown Virgil thought. How long had he been bottling up the world's problems on his shoulders? It was then it really hit him hard. Virgil suddenly noticed how much weight John had lost that Brains had been going on and on about, the dark rings under his eyes that had bags of shadows of their own, the pale skin that looked like it didn't remember how sunlight felt anymore.

Again that fear that his brother would fade away into nothing right before his eyes held Virgil in its death grip. Before he knew it, he reached over to grab John's hand as if to convince himself he was still here.

John almost flinched as Virgil moved suddenly in his peripheral vision but relaxed when his brother's hard working and well worn calloused hand rested on his own right one that was holding the plate.

Without words but alot of hesitation, the next spoonful of cake was proffered to Virgil for him to take a bite. John assumed that's what he was after because he wasn't very good at reading other people's emotions unless they actually spoke to him and voiced them - body language a hugely missing part in his life for a while now. He knew when people expected him to do things from their actions but that was about it.

Virgil smiled, wanting cake was not his intention at all but he was never one to pass on dessert. As he leaned in to take a bite, he closed his eyes and imagined the metal spoon in his mouth for his sibling's tongue stud instead. So what was this then? An indirect kiss of sorts? Virgil couldn't help blushing a little at that thought.

John blushed as Virgil let out a little noise as he licked the spoon and this time he didn’t hesitate for a second try. As his broader, more beefier younger brother took another bite, John tried hard not to squirm in his seat. All those dirty magazine pictures Gordon dug up yesterday that fifteen - sixteen year old John used to wank off too with some of the most simplest of fantasies was playing in front of him right now and John couldn’t help be turned on by it. Goddamn is this what being flirted with feels like? He knew this couldn't be normal behavior for Virgil surely the way he strokes the chocolate cake off the spoon with his tongue….almost if he was implying…

He shakily put the clean spoon down, disappointed there was no more cake to share. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise? If Scott ever found out he got the hots for his lover then John knew he'd be in more trouble than he could deal with.

But the thoughts of his brother and that ‘potential’ monster he maybe harboring in his pants made him go redder and slightly faint. He always wondered what it would be like to take a cock his own length and maybe bigger in size not only in his mouth but deep inside, something that would make him cry loudly with both pleasure and pain….what a damn pipe dream that is! No way would he EVER be that lucky to have someone turn the quiet mouse into a purring lion...though admittedly sex with Gordon had come damn close for him being able to be like a predator on the prowl in his own way.

John coughed nervously. “Can we share another one?”

"Sure I'd love to. Hey do you think we could get a chocolate mud cake this time round?" Virgil asked seemingly innocently.

"Urm sure." John said as he walked over to the counter to place their order. When he walked back with cake in hand, still wondering if Virgil was indeed flirting with him, John barely noticed the messily cut mud cake had begun dripping on his hands.

"Ah crap!" He cursed as he put the plate down at their table, desperately looking for some napkins.

"Here..." Virgil laughed as he daringly took John's chocolate covered hand with his own and started to lick the chocolate off with his tongue. As Virgil warm mouth enveloped his sticky hand to move over his fingers, John was ever grateful they were given the table tucked away in the back of the crowded restaurant. Or was that a convenient coincidence? But one that was clearly evident was that his younger brother had more than just cake on his mind.

His heart was pounding fast, the drugs in his system clouding his judgement further. “Virgil, there's this thing called wipes….” he shivered. Why did he feel like someone walked over his grave just now? Was Scott floating around watching, using Virgil as payback for all the pranks he pulled?

Or did Gordon set this up? He did know what John thought about Virgil after all.

Fuck - Virgil had started to really suck on his fingers and all he could think about was doing this same thing to Gordon. Where the hell was his head at?

But if this wasn't a set up…..

He watched Virgil sit back in his chair, smirking like he was a sneaky child getting away with murder.

Fuck you, two can play at this game.

John leaned forward, licked his cheek and the ran his tongue over his lips before pulling back. “You got it every-” he licked the tip of his nose and then the other cheek. “-where.” he purred before sitting back down and eating the cake again, this time fully more conscious that Virgil was indeed watching him to see what he'd do, like some weird experiment in a lab.

Virgil's breath feel strangled in his throat when John's tongue flirted with him. He resisted the urge to pin his brother onto the table and find out what he tasted like. What was this dangerous game that had them dancing flirtatiously with each other? But Virgil liked this devilish side to John he'd never seen before.

God damn if he didn't do something about it, Virgil swore he was either going to explode right in his pants or go sneaking off to the nearest bathroom to jerk off to thoughts of sexually ravaging his elder brother.

He was just going to come out and say it. "You erm..." Virgil coughed unconsciously vaguely aware of how red his face must be. "You wanna get outta here? Go somewhere more private?" Virgil cringed internally at his own words, after all John hadn't shown any interest in him sexual or otherwise, and he could just be reading all the signs wrong. In which case Virgil prayed that Scott would never find out and someone would just shoot him so that death would come swiftly before he died of embarrassment at his brother's rejection.

"I'll meet you back at the craft... there's something I have to do first." John said standing up. "you ok to take this stuff for me? I'll be two shakes, I promise." all this messing around with Virgil gave him an idea, a surprise for Gordon later and maybe - just incase - buy something last minute incase Virgil got any ideas.

"Yeah... sure, I guess?" Virgil said, he hoped John would get back before his boner died. What could be so important that John needed to get right now? A bottle of lube maybe? He thought as he giggled to himself. Certainly that would have been the first thing on Scott's mind. Scott... Virgil hated to admit it but he missed him terribly.

He knew that part of the reason he wanted to sleep with John, was not only to find out how his other elder brother measured up sexually, but because he knew by doing so he would hurt Scott. Now? Now he was having second thoughts whether this whole thing was a good idea to begin with. Virgil found himself scanning the crowd for John, an internal battle going on inside as to whether he wanted him to show up.

Eventually John ran up toward the big green craft with a small shopping bag and as he walked onto the lift platform to enter he pulled off his jumper and tugged his shirt down, however he didn’t get to fix it before he was pinned against the wall by an extremely heavy weight of the pod bay in the dark and a warm breath of air graced his skin by his left ear, forcing him to drop his last minute shopping then and there at his feet.

Virgil barely gave John the chance to react, but that action was more so for himself than his brother. Afraid he'd back out, Virgil had pounced onto John the moment he stepped back into Two. He wanted this, Virgil tried to convince himself as his lips seeked John's in the relative dimness of the pod bay.

This was also deliberate, he was afraid that his brother might catch any glimpse of apprehension in his eyes. As he nuzzled on the curve of John's neck, his hands worked anxiously to undress him. He leaned back as the clothes eventually came off, admiring how John's pale porcelain like skin seemed to glow in the dim lighting.

Virgil started to see why Scott would have fallen in love with John, he was like something other-worldly about his aura like a delicate celestial being that choose to grace you with his presence. Virgil traced his fingers along that alluring pale skin, his lips following close behind to kiss every curve where his fingers had lingered previously. Vanilla... John tasted faintly of vanilla and cloves. He found he couldn't wait any longer as he gazed into those turquoise eyes as if seeking kind permission to enter.

John couldn’t see much, however it was hard for his brain to keep track of what was going on. Virgil was moving so fast, his hand feverishly toying with him, preventing him from any chance to respond. He tried to get his hand into his jeans pocket before his clothes were discarded like they were needless rubbish.

He could feel Virgil pushing hard against him, though he couldn’t tell if it was his cock or his knee, whatever it was, it was long, thick and hard.

John was quick to shove a bit of plastic wrap into Virgil’s mouth before he attempted to kiss him again in a mad fit of passion again.

“Put that on first.” John panted, struggling to get his breath back as his brother paused to stare at what he had been handed. “If you’re going to go ahead with this…. Don’t risk your future sex life with Scott after getting anything by mistake.”

He waited for the response of disgust, as Virgil wouldn’t know whether or not John was ok to be screwing around with. John knew that he was, but it would be better to start being safe if he was suddenly going to end up as the Tracy Island town bicycle.

“It will fit.” John swallowed hard. “Trust me as someone who’s long down there….” he closed his eyes waiting for Virgil to just let him drop to the floor. “It’s pre lubed too.”

Virgil was surprised, so this was what he went to get? Scott had never been one to bother about protection to begin with, but was touched that John was kind enough to offer. He took the condom to put it on and shed the rest of his clothes. As Virgil stood infront of John he kissed him on his shoulder as if signaling he was going to enter.

John bit his tongue to prevent himself from yelping in pain. Virgil gently caressed his face to get his attention. "You need to relax, you're clenching too much. Just a little more, I'm almost in there..." Virgil whispered as he moved deeper but slowly inside John.

“Ah! I’m not clenching! Oh damn Virgil, you're not fully in yet? Just how big are - ow! AH! NUH!" He started to panic a little as a loud yelp finally escaped his lips. He had only gotten a brief glimpse of what Virgil had in his trousers and now he began to wonder if he had bitten off more than he could chew since the moment he tried to slip in, John could honestly say this felt more invasive than the play toy Gordon tried to insert into him the night before. His nails dug deep into Virgil's skin but that wasn't enough to stop the sheer burning sensation of his brother's monster erection being shoved in as far as it could go. Hell he wasn't even sure he could take it all in, swearing that this must be what being tied down and having a horse's long and thick hard on rammed inside.

"I... I think I'm in..." Virgil finally breathed into John's ear, as he gasped again. "Don't focus on the pain... here..." Virgil whispered as he took one of John's hands and placed it on his own bum. He had to hold it there he discovered as John couldn’t stop arching his back and squirming, his brother struggling to contain his manhood inside him, swearing at the notion that Virgil had pushed so deeply and torn open his back passage. John wouldn't doubt for a second if he was bleeding also, his body was so hot and inflamed from the forced stretching that Virgil had to do just to even get the tip of his erection in.

"Relax..." he coaxed again. "Just move with me..." Virgil leaned back in to kiss John as his older sibling did as he was told but it was hard. Virgil's size and girth made sliding in and out difficult and John was forced to also sink his teeth into his brother's shoulders in fear he would pass out as Virgil pulled out most of the way and then pushed it deep in again home, forcing John to arch and stretch as his hips were pushed back into the hangar bay wall, his head hitting it as well as he couldn't bend further back enough to accommodate his brother properly. Reality was they really should be on a bed with John on all fours to be able take his brother fully and allow him freedom of movement but right now there was every chance Virgil could get stuck inside him and while the thought wasn't entirely unpleasant - it meant John was not going to be able to walk without serious hip pain for some time.

"Agh... that's it John..." It was Virgil's turn to gasp now. Sex with Scott and now John was as different as night and day. Virgil found he never got much say when it came with sex with his eldest brother. Scott was used to being in a position of power and it'd be surprising if he choose to relinquish some of that dominance in the bedroom. But with John? He was learning to be gentler, showing how he'd like it and to feel a more gracious being able to respond in kind. It was all very foreign and new to him, but Virgil found he enjoyed it and he suddenly found himself hoping this won't be a one off thing. If it was then he won't waste time in recording every minute of this in his mind and Virgil's hands roamed freely to dance across John's body, stroking it lovingly as if he was his beloved piano.

Virgil then pull out all the way, turned his limp brother around and entered again, this time from behind.

Johns hands gripped the wall of the pod bay to stop his face being smothered by the wires and the pipes that lined it. Usually he was a quiet lover but he couldn’t help letting out little yelps and other sounds here and there as he panted, Virgil able to reach so much further than Scott ever could. He felt some of Virgil’s fingers creep into his mouth and the other hand move lower down across his skin and loudly squeaked when it reached it’s destination. He couldn’t really breathe, each thrust was powerfully strong and he barely could keep his own legs from slipping under him, though if he did land arse up on the floor there was no doubt Virgil would keep going for hours.

He had the stamina for it, he swore it was possible for that to happen - hell he could be long unconscious before Virgil reached orgasm at this rate!

The drugs in his system were only making it worse, he was heating up fast, drooling and his vision kept blurring until the hand holding his jaw moved and pushed his head against the pod wall, gripping his hair as something like a huge pole was being pushed in and out of him. He had shut his eyes tight and tried to keep his mind on breathing, he was shaking with pleasure - pain - who knows? He had no control over his body and what was happening to it anymore. He could have cum for all he knew and was now just having his body tell him he was experiencing the ‘other side’ of pleasure, the ecstasy of being taken for a ride by a real man.

Only problem - his body couldn't physically handle it.

He wasn’t as strong as any of his brothers, living in space having weaken his muscles so much the only weight he was losing was their entire mass. Oh fuck shagging him was like fucking a clothes horse! He was beginning to feel ashamed that he couldn’t be a great lover when a real man of passion and power was involved and felt worse that Gordon was chasing after him when he has ‘THIS’ as another option - if Virgil was looking for pleasure that wasn’t Scott.

“Virgil!” he yelped out. “Virge I’m goin…”

Everything went black as he passed out.

"John? John! Shit!" Virgil went into full medic mode when his brother suddenly went limp. He switched the lighting back to full strength as he carried John to the medical bay further inside Two.

Grabbing some blankets and towels along the way, he cleaned both of them as best as he could, bundling John in the blankets as he read the digital readout from the med bed's overhead panels.

Thankfully it showed that John was merely fatigued and dehydrated. Virgil frowned as he did a quick finger prick blood test and signals indicated the presence of unknown drugs. Why didn't the medical watch Brains made him wear pick any of this up?

He glanced at John's wrist and saw a fancy watch in its place. Virgil sighed as he sent the latest readouts to Brains, although he decided to conduct the full blood test personally to find out the source of the mysterious drugs. John didn't need yet another lecture from the scientist on how he wasn't taking care of his health, but Virgil wasn't about to let him get away with it either.

Virgil walked back to the pod to fetch their discarded clothes. After dressing John he strapped him safely into the med bed before flying them home. Already he dreaded the imminent lecture that was to come from Scott.

John came to and tried to work out where he was and realised he was tied down to the medbed in the back of the pod.

Oh Fuck.

He HAD to get loose. No way was he going to have Virgil find out he'd been mixing drugs just to cope being out for the day. That would mean a family intervention and he'd be damned if he'd be forced to sit in a room with his brother's and be subjected to lectures and ‘you should know betters’. If that was the case he'd rather drown in the pool.

John did know better and quite frankly, didn't give a shit. There was worse things he could be into and having them all suddenly get on his case after not giving a shit for years - they could get stuffed.

There was an advantage to being skinny this time, he managed to slip out of the bonds holding him to the bed and loosen them to get free, and as he sat up he tried to piece together what happened.

Double Fuck…. Literally in this case. He let Virgil pretty much screw him till he passed out but that wasn't the problem. The issue was Virgil was Scott’s lover.

John was as good as dead if he found out.

When Thunderbird Two reached Tracy Island, Virgil had gone to check on his patient and frowned. John had already made a break for it.


	17. Kitchen entertainment

Gordon found John outside in the garden surrounded by a cloud of smoke that was visible in the cold night air.

“Still smoking weed?”

“Gordon, I was with Virgil all day and things were…. Confusing. I need this otherwise I'd be raiding the drugs cabinet in the infirmary.”

Gordon sat beside him. “That bad huh?”

“Yes and no. He knows about Scott and I and I think I mentioned you at some point - I injected myself with a drug cocktail just to cope with his lecture on classical music so fuck knows what I really said as I was more or less fucked in the head.” John rubbed his brow and took another deep inhale from his roll of choof.

“Shit John! You're getting worse!”

“Don't you think I know that? I’m confused as shit about us two, struggling to come to terms with being dumped and told I was forever bad mouthed behind my back and now…” he took another deep draw and snorted smoke out like a bull, “Pod three may need a hose down after what me and Virgil did in there.”

“Woah, wait a second.” Gordon looked shocked. “You had sex with Virgil?” he let out an amused snort. “Oh fucking hellfire Johnny! Who haven't you had sex with yet!?”

“Don't start, Gordon! He came onto me - fiercely I may add - and I was so fucking out of it I just let him pound the living shit outta me, fuck even if I wasn't doped I would have let him anyway. It was like being made to submit to a fucking Greek God and rendered powerless while being fucked till your brains just shut down from over stimulation. No fucking wonder Scott dumped me for him!” John threw his head back and blew out alot of smoke like a smoldering dragon. “He's seriously that strong I fucking passed out!”

“So how was he?”

“What do you mean?” John frowned, rolling his head to look at his younger brother coldly.

“Like you know, was he as big as you thought he was? Like a horse?” Gordon was grinning from ear to ear. John was surprised that he wasn't up in arms about the whole scenario but rolled with it if Gordon wasn’t going to be that upset over the whole thing.

“I didn’t really get a look but you recall that dildo you tried to stick in me the other night?”

Gordon nodded. 

“It felt more intense than you pushing that into me.”

“Fucking hellfire you would have screamed!”

“Almost did, hard to with his tongue down my throat. But think longer and wider and let's face it, even with lube and a condom I swear it felt like he still unloaded practically everything he had.”

“Shit.” Gordon blinked, utterly gobsmacked. “So… better than me then huh?”

A sly smile crossed John's relaxed stoned features. “I wouldn’t say that.” he sat up and finished his joint and then leaned over Gordon, almost pinning him to the bench and as he spoke, wisps of smoke blew out playfully and danced around his head. “You’re incredibly beautiful Gordon, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm not talking about physically here either, though you do have a body that's really flexible and strikingly attractive.” he purred, gently lifting his chin and kissing it softly. 

“You're warm and friendly and tons of fun. Sure, I maybe the first and only bloke you've been with but damn you could give me a run for my money any day with your humour and creativity. Your patient and loving too - something I clearly don't deserve. You want to share everything, not dominate and take nor be taken advantage of. I have never had anyone treat me like their equal in a very long time, almost forgotten what it was like even if I was blinded by my feelings that I never realised were not going to be returned anymore. Problem is, I'm not worthy of such innocence.” he kissed Gordon’s forehead before standing up, hunting his jeans for his things required to roll another joint to smoke.

“I'm not worth the respect or freedom you're giving me and yet, you're still letting me have it. I'm worried - afraid - that I'll do something to break you and lose all of that.”

Gordon stood. “You make it sound like I'm playing with fire.” he smiled deviously. “Sure your damaged, chipped and jaded but you're not unsalvageable. The fact you've still had people sexually interested in you shows that.”

He took the lighter from his brother's hand and lit the new makeshift smoke for him.

“It would be wrong to expect things to go anywhere but I enjoy a challenge even if it will hurt me.” he pulled John’s shirt so he was eye level with him and his sibling got a full view of his sly grinning features. “Even now I'm not afraid as I know there's one thing that holds true in this messed up situation you are in.” he took the joint slowly out of John's mouth and took his own puff. “Is that you're ‘unbreakable’.”

He pressed his lips against John's and kissed him like it was his dying breath. He hadn’t expected John to reciprocate in kind and the joint was forgotten, dropped to the ground where John's shoes scuffed it out as he pushed Gordon backwards onto the garden bench, his hands venturing under the buttons of Gordon’s colorful Hawaiian shirt with purpose and trepidation, the younger, fitter Tracy pulling him closer, silently begging to be taken by him for as long as he wanted it. 

The only way John could hurt him was to die and there was no chance of that, Gordon knew now he was a key component in helping his brother's recovery not just from heartbreak but from self torture and was damned determined to help him.

“Fuck Gordon, how long?”

“Since I sat down with you.” 

John removed his hands from his younger brother’s pants and grabbed his wrist. “Come.”

Gordon followed John back into the house, where he was pinned to the kitchen counter, John's hand exploring him again and his hips pressed against his and through his tight jeans he could also feel how excited his brother was and how much he wanted him.

“Do you mind me being a little rough with you, just once?” John growled playfully in his ear.

“You can be however you want with me.” Gordon purred. “I know you'll never hurt me.”

John kissed him far more ravenously than before and squeezed his backside once he slipped his hands into his shorts, playing with him before inserting his fingers and making Gordon gasp with surprise with his boldness.

“I see Virgil gave you a confidence boost.” Gordon joked.

“I'm not entirely sure what you're implying but you're all I've been thinking about most of the day.”

“Even with Virgil in you?”

“Yes. I can't get you out of my head. At one point I was thinking about you under me with him in tow and maybe having both of you inside me at the same time.”

Gordon let out an excited sound, both from John's playfulness with him and his cheeky little threesome fantasy.

“You think we'd both fit do you?”

“Maybe not, I'd still like to damn try.”

“Fucking oath…. John?”

“Hmm?”

“Take me, right now. I don't care who sees, maybe they'll enjoy watching?”

John growled louder and pushed into Gordon further. “It would be my pleasure.”

He removed his hand and quickly ran it under the tap before digging through his wallet and finding a little pack of ‘fun’, tore it open and slipped it on before bending Gordon over the bench, dropping his shorts and kissing him down his neck before entering him from behind. 

“Oh fuck! What the hell?” Gordon whimpered. “You feel different than last time!”

“You like it? I snuck into an adult store and bought these special for you.” John nuzzled him as he slowly moved in and out.

“Ah! Oh damn! It's like - like you're tickling me from the inside!” Gordon gasped. “I don't think I can hold out for long with this feeling, John! UHHHH OHH DAMN!” Gordon begged and purred, gripping onto the kitchen bench tight.

“It's sort of the idea, love.” John nipped his neck again affectionately as his hands snaked around under Gordon’s shirt to caress his hardened, excited nipples. “I want you to feel wonderful inside and out every time you come to me.”

“Ahhhh! Well you're certainly doing that! Nuhhhuhhh!” Gordon shivered as his body arched and responded to every single motion. Being tickled from the inside was an understatement - it was like all those tentacle cartoon porn films he used to joke about with his school friends but really happening to him…. And he was enjoying it immensely. He didn't care if he made a mess everywhere, the longer John kept this up the more he got to feel pampered and like a melting blob of human muscle about to drip all over the kitchen floor.

“Oh hey I wanted to talk to -”

Gordon looked up and so did John but Gordon could feel him tense and get slightly possessive in his stance, something he never thought anyone would do in regards to him and felt a warm flush wash over him.

Virgil froze in mid sentence, the sight of John and Gordon having sex in the kitchen shocked him. While John was lean and pale, Gordon was the polar opposite. A bronze lithe statue of toned muscle. He wondered if his brothers would allow him to stay and watch, but no he had seen the look in Gordon's eyes when he interrupted them. 

"I... er... I'm just going to go..." Virgil said as he backed up clumsily into the fridge behind him, beating a hasty retreat hopefully before either of his brothers had noticed what seeing them like this was giving him a major hard on. 

As he ran to his room, Virgil thought back on how sexy his brothers had looked, hot naked sweaty bodies pressed against each other on the kitchen bench. 

If Virgil had known John was up for sex so soon... Thoughts drifted back to the pleasure of entering John for the first time in Two's pod bay. He smiled to himself, no he would probably have tore John a new arsehole if that happened again. Virgil's lips curved into another sly smile but if he could get John alone to himself again, he would love to be able to finish what they started in Two.

Virgil stood, grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom. Well since he wasn't getting any action of his own, he might as well go have a hot shower. And hopefully clear more than a few cobwebs in his head while he's in it.

“Shit!” Gordon looked horrified. “What do we do?”

John relaxed. “Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. He knows I can pull out what happened today against him.” John had already realised this and had time to think about the situation before this minor incident. “If anything I was more worried about him asking me if he could have you too.” 

“Oh? But weren't you just entertaining the idea of us in a Threesome?” Gordon asked.

John leaned over him and purred. “Yes, however only I get to touch you…..if you don't mind me being a little possessive.” he nuzzled him and gently started thrusting again, indicating he wasn't put off by the intrusion. “I mean… you did give me permission do this with you unless you've got other ideas?”

Gordon arched and melted onto the counter as his brother continued to caress him and treat him like a delicate and fragile flower. “No.” he breathed deeply, smiling as he felt John return to nibbling his neck and how strange and wonderful it felt. “As much as I'd like the idea of Virgil joining in, maybe once? You're the only one I'd like to have me.” he thought for a minute. “Maybe… maybe I dunno… wouldn’t hurt to give it a try having him with you at the same time would it?”

John paused. “Are you trying to suggest I might like to try something different?”

“Well I am with you aren't I?”

John withdrew from Gordon and pulled him upright before kissing his lips. “You don't want to keep me to yourself?” he asked.

“I do. “Gordon admitted. “But I don't want to close all doors to you just yet. It wouldn't be fair.”

“But is asking me to do this fair on you?” John asked him with honest truths. “Because like I said, I don't ever want to hurt you.”

“I… I never really thought about it like that.” he ran his hand across John's t-shirt and noticed he was still ‘at attention’ lower down with the little novelty ‘French Tickler’ still on.

“It's important, Gordon. Ok so I'm not 100% sure if what happened today was Virgil seeking me out for fun, revenge or to just rub it in that he's a better specimen of a man than I am but the point is it's not about me here - it's about you and Virgil and whether you can go ahead with this. You know how I feel and hell I've told you some of my darkest fantasies over the last few days alone… but I don't want to lose either of you nor have you jealous that someone is with me more than the other. This is an experience that would involve all of us, how everyone feels matters.”

John let out a sigh. “I know you didn't call me cheap when you saw those toys or was offended that I let Virgil fuck the crap out of me but if I mean as much to you as you say I do then..” he couldn’t look Gordon in the eyes. “Then you need to tell me because right now I feel used by everyone and I'm not liking it. I'm happy to try these things…. But if I mean nothing of value to either of you other than something of ‘convenience’ down the road…”

“I get the picture.” Gordon swallowed. “If neither of us want to truly claim you as our sole lover then you want nothing to do with us.”

John nodded. “Just be aware of that. It's nice you're offering me such freedom but I probably shouldn't be doing this with anyone with how screwed up I am at the moment.”

“So….”

John pulled Gordon into a kiss and picked him up as best as he could to sit him against the bench. 

“Decide later.” John growled, pressing himself against his body and slipping in again making Gordon gasp and wrap one of his legs around his hips. “Right now… I want you.”


	18. Dangerous Proposition

Gordon knocked on the door of Virgil’s room. “Are you in Virgil? I would like to speak to you about something important.”

"Just one minute!" Virgil yelled, panicked at the sound of Gordon's voice. He had been in his room drawing smutty paintings of Gordon and John banging each other's brains out in the kitchen. He quickly but carefully shoved them into the drawer of his drawing table, already hoping the conversation would end quickly so that he could be allowed to resume work on the paintings. 

"Oh hey Gordon, what's up?" Virgil said as he opened his room door and beckoned his younger sibling inside. "What did you want to talk about?" 

Gordon blinked. “Erm, am I interrupting something?” he gaze shifted from his older brother who was redder than a baboon's backside in mating season to two drawing mannequins on his desk that were posed in a very curious position that caused him to cock an eyebrow in a ‘Oh I see..’ fashion.

“Listen,” he coughed politely. “About just now…” Gordon scratched his head, under his chin and his neck nervously like he suddenly developed a rash. “Uh… how- how much did you see and hear?”

Virgil thought he couldn't get redder than he already was, but it certainly felt like it. "Urm... I saw... enough..." He coughed as he fidgeted uncomfortably, shuffling between his feet. 

He was dreading where this conversation might be heading. As much as Virgil wanted another taste of John, he knew he was going to have to take a step back if Gordon asked. Besides, he was already in a relationship with Scott. Well, what's left of one anyway.

“Care to elaborate?”

"I saw you guys naked and fucking each other up against the kitchen bench. There... happy?" Virgil cringed. "Where is this conversation even going? Look if you're worried I'm going to tell on you guys, I'm not ok? It's not my place to do so. Whatever you're here for, just spit it out and get it over with." And just put me out of my fucking misery already, he didn't add. 

Gordon folded his arms, tilted his head and his other eyebrow raised to match. “So… you didn't hear John talking about what he was fantasizing about? That's a pity.” a sharklike smile started to cross his face, the deviousness glinting in his amber eyes. “It involved you and your ‘Monster’” he said the last word slyly with a deep growl. If Gordon had had a tail, it would be flicking like a cats awaiting the right moment to pounce.

Meanwhile outside, John paced around the shack, ripping down the marijuana plants roughly with his bare hands. He was so high he didn't register they were bleeding from the way he was gripping them as he yanked on them tearing sections of it through his palms viciously before the small trees came free.

He had to get rid of them. If not for his own sake but his two younger brother's. 

He had had sex with both of them under the influence of some sort of substance and while he could still recollect them moments, he committed incest with three of his brothers now and was going to stop himself before he attempted a forth.

Damn what the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t they be a NORMAL family?!

That was never going to be an option. They we the sons of Jeff Tracy - first man on Mars, savvy businessman and one of the world's most richest men on the planet. Isolation and faking his son's identities on the mainland was the only way to have a normal existence without the press, dodgy and dangerous people threatening their lives just to get at their father and his money.

As much as Jeff didn't want it, he did everything to rid himself of the excess and help people and keep his young family safe.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” John slammed his hand against the metal of the still when he attacked another plant savagely and it failed to budge. He proceeded to punch it over and over, leaving huge dents in it and damage his hands further.

The thing was he wasn't alone in his debauchery. It was all consensual and if he was offered it again…. He'd still gaily participate in the act of incest with them.

Oh god damn the things he wanted to do with both Gordon and Virgil at the same time! Or at least - the things he could do to Gordon and have Virgil do to him.

He knew it wasn't like him to be thinking like this - it was all the drugs and the desperation to have attention and feel some sort of inclusion with them as family that he was willing to do the unthinkable.

He wasn't likeable let alone lovable. Both of his siblings knew that.

At least, Virgil did. He knew that he was only worth a quick fuck pinned to a wall the second it was convenient. Gordon however….

What Gordon was seeing in him he couldn't fathom. Even if John was able to date himself he'd rather shoot his own foot than tangle with the wreckage he was.

That's why he was in the shack. A small piece of himself wanted whatever innocence Gordon still found on the inside to be true. 

He didn't want to disappoint him.

Gordon smirked. Virgil’s indigent, ‘I don't know what your talking about’ hissy snap at him was not only amusing but the only proof he needed about overhearing the threesome fantasy John said aloud in the kitchen while pinning him to the bench. He wasn't an idiot as much as everyone seemed to believe his behavior meant on occasion.

He also knows what ‘Monster’ he was referring to. Surely he didn't HAVE to tell him outright John kissed and told. He KNEW.

Virgil clenched his fists, resisting the rising urge to punch Gordon in the face. "It doesn't matter what I heard or did not hear. You've clearly gotten what you wanted by having sex with John. So how we stop with all the mind games? Just come straight out and say whatever it is that is so 'important' that you needed to come talk to me about? You didn't come just looking to pick a fight did you?"

“Settle, petal. If anyone should be MAD here it's me.” Gordon let out a very low and nasty growl. “YOU HAVE SCOTT. Scott threw John AWAY to HAVE YOU. YOU took advantage of someone VULNERABLE but not only that -” Gordon moved forward and grabbed him by the shirt and yanked hard so he was eye level with the shorter Tracy. Granted, he was half Virgil's size and girth but he was just as strong as his sibling was - which made being smaller an advantage for ducking and dodging if push came to shove. “YOU FUCKING HAD SEX WITH WHAT WAS MINE.”

Gordon snarled, baring his teeth like a caged animal. “Your lucky I don't fucking shove your dick up your own arsehole so you could fuck yourself!”

He then let go and dusted himself off. “Right, that's out of the way, we can get to what I'm here for.” he coughed again. “Did you or did you not over hear John's little ‘threesome’ fantasy? Because if you did, then you KNOW what I'm here for. So we both selfishly want John to ourselves but as it stands he's a free agent just enjoying whatever sex he can get as he's got serious shit to sort out before committing to anyone else and that's FINE but we both know we're both possessive as hell and will hurt him if we keep up this stupidity. I'm not sure of your motives Virgil but the point still stands - John has fantasized of both of us fucking him, him fucking me while your rodgering him and him sucking you off while I'm within him….. you get the picture…. He's dreamed of the entire full course threesome here.”

“Question is Virgil - before crawling back to bed with Scotty and pretending he is John the rest of your relationship or whatever you decided to screw him for, how about we ‘give’ the real one an entire night of this erotic dream between us? Say…. At Penny's party tomorrow night where we're staying as her overnight guests? That setting alone is what pornagraphc fantasies are made true. We give John the night of his life before he has to go back on duty and decide he's going to become celebrate and never have sex again.” Gordon took his sly stance again. “what do you say to one night of a shared uncontrolled orgy of passion?”

To say that Virgil was shocked would be a gross understatement, he looked like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Of all the things that had went through his mind as to what Gordon had wanted to say, he was certainly not expecting a straight out open invitation. 

Virgil knew he would love to have another taste of John but could he handle a ménage à trois? And how would he explain himself if Scott ever found out? He was two minds about it and he himself wasn't sure what his answer would be.

“I can see your thinking about it.” Gordon’s smile returned. “Think of it as your last bit of freedom BEFORE your trip away to Tibet where you can have Scott be none the wiser and go back to being a one man show.” he let out a sigh. “It might also be my last chance the way things are.”

John had decided there was only one way he was going to get rid of that dark side and that was to completely destroy it. Back in school when Scott had ALL of the attention from other kids John had to make do messing around in science clubs to try and pretend they weren't related.

That time wasn’t exactly wasted - John learned alot about robotics, chemicals and how to make homemade pipe bombs which he had on more than one occasion fired off around the house and blamed it on his more attention seeking thrill loving junkie brother.

When you're nine, you don’t have to have mercy for your older sibling.

Even now, he was getting closer to twenty three by the months he still had no mercy for Scott but for entirely different reasons. As he walked passed the washing line he saw his brother’s brand new uniforms and his other clothes, fluttering in the breeze on the washing line.

He suddenly got a very EVIL idea.

“So what do you think, Virgil? You in or not?” Gordon tapped his foot. “It’s the only way you're going to get another chance.” he hoped that his brother would stop being a goldfish long enough to give an answer.

Virgil regained his composure as he said "I'm in..." nodding perhaps a little too enthusiastically. 

Gordon devious grin returned. “Shake on it?”

Just as they were about to touch hands to seal the deal, there was a loud ‘boom’ sound from outside that seemed to shake the entire house. Both boys ran to the bedroom window and could see very little in the dark other than a volcanic fireball of flames beyond the garden.

“SHIT!” Gordon swore aloud giving Virgil a secondary heart attack from shouting in his ear. “FUCK! JOHN BETTER BE OK!”

As Gordon turned to sprint out of the room, Virgil grabbed him by one of his arms. “What do you mean, ‘John better be ok?’”

“No time to explain,” Gordon yanked his arm free hurriedly. “Just hurry up and bring a fire extinguisher!”

John was sitting outside, watching the shack go up in a white fireball of flame enjoying the lights show while he was completely maggoted on a larger reefer than usual in an attempt to smoke whatever he had left in one go so there was no more of the stuff on the Island.

The last major high.

“Wholy shit! What the hell happened?” Gordon and Virgil overheard Scott demand out of John since he was the first in the scene of destruction.

“Boom.” John giggled uncontrollably. “Everything that was my life. KA -BOOM.” He grinned from ear to ear and snorted.

Scott grabbed him and shook him violently. “Are you out of your mind!? You trying to blow up the whole Island!?”

“Why not? Maybe we can all start again.” John laughed. “Hey- hey look Scotty! Isn't that you clothes?”

Sure enough it rained shredded fabric around them and the exploding shack and Scott stood gobsmacked as he saw pieces of his spare uniforms touch the ground aflame. John was now on his back in hysterics watching his older brother fume and change colour to match the embers still licking the now hollowed out shed.

Scott then grabbed John roughly pinning him beneath him, his fingers flexing tight around his brother's throat, forcibly choking him.

As Scott leaned in menacingly, he took in John's slightly glazed over eyes and smelt his breath. "Wait... are you... are you high?" He said as he released his hold on him, as he stood up in disgust. 

John coughed in relief. Catching his breath, he yelled angrily at his former lover. "Oh great observation, Captain Obvious!" John caught sight of Gordon behind Scott, as he laid back onto the sand. "Hey Gordon! Come make sand angels with me!" He said, laughing in hysterics  
as he flayed his arms and legs up in sweeping motions. "Get it Gords? Snow angels? Sand angels? I can be funny too!" 

Scott moved forward to knock some sense into John, and was caught by the wrist by Virgil. "Let it go Scooter. Uniforms can be easily replaced. A brother can't. Hopefully John wasn't hurt in the blast. You can deal with him when he's actually coherent enough to understand you. Right now we have a fire to put out." Virgil shot a look at Gordon, an urgent silent signal to grab John and just leave while Scott was still distracted.

John sat up a little and gave Virgil a look that was reminiscent of Gordon’s one he had been given earlier that evening, reminding him that Gordon at one point had some of John's personality blended into him, both of them along with Alan inheriting some of their mother’s more cocky ‘attitude quirks’.

“Oh I'm coherent… at least enough to build a homemade bomb.” John grinned like a feral tiger on tranquilizers. “I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.” he stood up and dusted himself a little, pausing to bend down, scoop up some sand and tip it down his trousers and give it a shake. “Nothing says ‘fun at the beach’ like the amount of sand down your pants!”

Again Scott moved towards John, but Virgil's grip on his wrist held firm. With a small shake of his head Virgil whispered softly, "Please Scott... for my sake if not for John's?" 

Scott sighed, even before the two of them were a pair, there was seldom an opportunity where he would deny Virgil anything. He nodded, motioning for one of the two fire extinguishers laying forgotten a short distance from them. Although his younger brother's grip still did not loosen, as Virgil found himself almost unwilling to let go. Had he missed Scott ‘that’ much? he wondered guiltily to himself. 

As they started to head back, Scott loudly made and offhanded comment, “Its typical though isn't it Virgil, you and I always cleaning up John and Gordon's messes.”

Gordon wasn’t fast enough to prevent what happened next. As Scott elbowed viciously passed John, the fiery redhead spun around and yanked their older sibling back and punched him in the face as he was forcefully spun around. As Scott dropped the extinguisher and bent double a knee jerked up and clipped him in the face as well so when he fell to the ground he was bleeding from the nose.

Then John pointed towards the burning shack. “That's me washing my hands of the mess you fucking made of me you arrogant blind arsehole!” he then kicked him hard in the stomach before Gordon could pull him away. “You made me this - this THING! I was never a person to you just some kind of machine! You never really gave a shit unless you were fucking pinning me to a fucking mattress so you could have someone to stick your tiny little excuse for a manhood into! You then told lies about me - fuck you had a LIFE behind my back and you expect me to just get over it? NO! YOU DID SO MUCH DAMAGE NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIX IT!” John shouted out the last sentence. 

He yanked himself free from Gordon’s grip and straighten up as best as he could in his irrational emotional state. “It doesn't matter though does it? You still get this perfect life to go on with once I'm out if the way again so why should anything I say now fucking matter? Go fuck off on you holiday or whatever, I don't care - but if my life is going to be put on hold after tomorrow then FUCK IT I'm going to pull out all the stops to make it a wild one at Penny's party and there's fuck all you can do about it!”

Scott spit out a mouthful of blood. "You don't get to yell at me for being dead to you, when you were the one who pulled the fucking trigger in the first place!" He yelled, as the angry tears fell to match the growing ache in his heart.

"You weren't there! I waited and waited. But you never showed. Where were you?!" Scott continued shouting, hurling nearby rocks at his brother angrily. 

Scott didn't immediately break up with John back then because he had secretly harbored thoughts of a reconciliation. Truth was he only wanted to use Virgil to fulfill his sexual desires, he hadn't planned on falling in love with him. Scott thought that loving Virgil had meant that he had finally gotten over John. So why was his former lover digging up all his buried pain all over again? 

"FUCK YOU JOHN!" He screamed, as something deep inside Scott finally snapped. He stood to hurl himself towards John, fists at the ready, wanting nothing more than to plummet his face into the sand bed. 

Thankfully Virgil was quicker. He grabbed Scott by the waist, as his eldest brother struggled like a rabid animal in his grasp, all the while screaming and shouting bloody murder, spouting profanities like a seasoned sailor. "Gordon! Get John back inside the house NOW!" It was an order not a request and Virgil begged his younger brother would listen. 

Virgil hugged Scott fiercely from behind, whispering softly "I'm sorry but it's ok Scott, I'm here..." Eventually the struggling stopped and Scott crumpled defeatedly into a heap on the beach. He turned and buried his head into Virgil's chest, clinging to him desperately like a lifebuoy in a raging ocean. The dam inside him broke and released all the pent up tears he didn't get to cry back then, finally getting a chance to mourn the relationship he lost. 

The fire behind them burned, but with nothing more to feed its rage, it slowly began to die. Just like any remnants of love Scott might have once held for John…

John walked up to Scott’s broken down form buried into Virgil and spoke quietly. “You don't get to say shit to me. Before that accident you were telling everyone I was a bore who had no fucking personality. If I got unscheduled time down here instead of the usual twice a month, you had ditched me to piss off on holidays with everyone, the only way I found out was because Grandma got a surprise I was home….and you guys did that shit so often that if I wasn't spending time with you, I was on my own...because afterall all the stuff you told everyone about me who the fuck would want to hang around me in your absence. I snuck around this house like a fucking ghost for seven years Scotty, picking up after you when everything went to shit. All those times you got away with being a reckless idiot? I smoothed all of that over and over to the point even dad wouldn't have anything to do with me. Fuck Scott dad didn't even put a photo of me up on the wall alongside you guys - Grandma did and that was AFTER dad went missing! You were not the one he was ashamed of, you were the perfect fucking son who did everything right! I was just a pain in the arse who told lies to cover up everything you ever did that could disappoint him.”

John got down in a squat position and eyeballed Scott. “Every damn accident you had I wanted to be there but every time there was so much fucking around with police, the Global Defence Force, other emergency services, heck last one involved the damn World Council and I had to argue in defence of not handing over our entire organization over, Island home and family to be placed behind bars.”

Tears fell on the sand. “All I ever heard was screams when those things happened. No one once told me what was going on until the next time we spoke and you were fine again. Once I hacked MAX’s camera system to try and find out for myself much to the annoyance of Brains…. Heck I'd harass him every damn day to see if you were ok! Ask him! As every time I called he'd lecture me about depression! You know why I smoke weed and drink so much? It's to drown out the screams that I can't do anything about millions of miles in space! I barely keep any of my shit together knowing that I could be sending you somewhere you may never come back from alive again! That's my job though! To send my brothers out to die and pray that you survive! I fucking hate it!”

“Then when I finally did get to see you you'd tell me you missed me like nothing ever happened. Those few hours we got, I believed every damn word because I trusted you and that you cared about me as much as I did about you. If you really cared you'd have known I had problems I couldn't deal with, you'd have bothered to find out why I struggled to find time to spend with you but you didn't, you shut me out for two months hoping I’d just go away and vanish. Heck I know that how it is as you just told me it was over like I meant fuck all to you - just like a piece of rubbish. So you can be a cry baby for sympathy all you want and fool the world but you'll never fool me again.” He then stood up and walked passed a stunned Gordon and headed back for the house.

“I better get him before he throws himself off the second story balcony.” Gordon said a little unconvinced he could prevent John if he tried having just presented them all with the most convincing argument for suicide into the open. “Sorry Scott but this time, John’s right. You're able to walk away from all of this carnage like it never happened but the second John goes back up into space he is going to go through it all again - there isn't an option to just drop everything and leave. I feel sorry for both of you but you did used to tell us every chance you could that John had no idea how to be fun and that he thought we were all childish little children who were beneath him… heh I should have been more observant myself when stuff toys seemed to appear in my room like magic or when videogames Alan could never get his hands on were appearing downloaded to his game machines or the art supplies that would mysteriously appear at the foot of Virgil's bed… he was trying to reach out to us and we ignored it. You'd give up too if no one acted like you existed.” Gordon then turned, glancing back before running off to catch up with John before his older brother got anymore ‘genius’ ideas that could kill himself.


	19. Quick fix

Gordon peered around the doorframe of his older brothers room and was relieved John hadn't chosen to do anything else dangerous for the time being. Truth was, he had no idea what he could do to convince him he wasn't the waste of time he thought he was - hell being mauled to death by him was better than watching him bottle it up on the inside and slowly killing himself over it.

He also knew what it felt like to be ‘used’. Penelope did that to him enough for him to know how demeaning it was.

There was something he could do that would be a temporary fix but maybe right now that all John needed.

After rummaging around his own wardrobe he found it. If he at least got a smile out of his sibling it was a winner. 

He entered John’s room and closed the door, the sound enough to make John at least lift his head off the pillows.

“What on earth are you wearing?”

Gordon turned around slowly, his face flushed a deep red. “Thought it might give you a laugh...you know, cheer you up?” His eyes were shut tight, hoping that if his brother wasn't smiling, he couldn't see any look of disapproval either.

Afterall, last time he wore it Penny called him a fool and told him to never wear it again. 

He could hear movement but held his eyes closed, dreading what his brother might do. John was proving to be highly volatile tonight and anything could happen. Throwing himself into the den of a lion was extremely foolish but then he never stopped to think about the consequences of his actions.

“Are you scared?”

“Huh? No of course not!” 

“Then why won't you show me your mischievous ambers?”

Gordon gasped as he felt something warm and moist touch the skin of his neck. This wasn't part of the plan but then tonight anything was possible… 

“The question is Gordon… ‘why’? Why are you still chasing after me?”

This made him look at his sibling who was leaning over him who suddenly now resembled the sensual creature from the night he asked for his favour. The gentle, soft spoken, elegant shy beast had returned and was looking for answers. If those cobalt eyes were real pools of water he would have drowned in them willingly that first time he showed him how you truly love someone.

“You heard me back there...I am not someone worth getting involved with, heck you KNOW I'm a drug addict and more or less the Tracy Island bike. Why do you keep trying to….tempt me?”

Gordon listened carefully and noticed how John’s choice of words suggested that while he was confused somewhat, his attempts were not entirely unwelcome.

“Because - because I know what it's like to love someone and be treated like a reject. It's not entirely the same but I know you and I have love to give and want to share it with another.” He shut his eyes again and turned his head a little to the side. He hoped he was right in his assumption otherwise he was in deep trouble.

“Hence the outfit?” John’s voice purred sweetly.

“Heh, I uh can explain that-”

“Oh? Maybe some other time.” John’s lips brushed Gordon's cheek. “You know you're always impressive to me… you didn't have to dress up. I wish I could be as amazing as you are, both on the inside and out.” He paused. “Is this what you wanted? If I'm wrong, please do tell me. I've already messed things up I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you too.”

Gordon smiled and faced him again, this time his eyes sparkling with mischief. “I know you wouldn't, as your not Scott but you can be as dangerous, you know that? It's a risk I'm willing to take like I told you earlier tonight.”

“You're getting rather adventurous for someone who was shocked to discover all your brothers were ‘gay for eachother’” 

“Yes, well you sort of convinced me it isn't all as bad as it sounds.” Gordon pressed his lips against his brothers and allowing him to be taken into his warm embrace. 

“These things, they real or synthetic?” John asked, playfully running his fingers over the collar around his brother’s neck.

“Genuine leather. Imported from Arabia.”

“The really expensive stuff?”

“You bet, even the studs are real diamonds.” 

“So I noticed. The crystal glass bell might have been overkill.” John gave the oversized glass cat bell a jingle, the sound was a magical fairy-like tinkle. “But I like it.” 

His hand trailed lower following the patterns of his brother's tattooed spine and towards the leather straps holding onto a silver ring in the small of his back just above his backside and ran his fingers along them till the met at the front at another ring, this one far bigger than the one around the back.

Gordon let out a sexy little growl as John’s hand playfully circled it and explored, teasing him slightly by brushing his arm against his body.

“Was it easy to get on?”

“It was when I wasn't horny. Now though...damn it sort of stings.”

John raised a curious eyebrow. “Stings?” 

“Bit like those little cock rings that were buried in you box of ‘goodies’” Gordon sheepishly explained. “I’ve never had an erection with it on though.”

“You know if it hurts you shouldn't wear it...those restrict blood flow to prolong it, if it's uncomfortable it could cause damage.”

“Well it feels good too.” Gordon admitted. “I mean...when you touch it it- it feels nice.”

“So if I was to…” John spoke softly, his voice as warm as maple syrup on pancakes before he got onto his knees and started to kiss Gordon’s stomach while his hand danced along his hardened member, causing the younger Tracy to lean back against the door as he melted with his sibling's attentions, purring and letting out excited gasps of pleasure. Slowly he could feel John’s long fingers from his other hand caress his behind before pushing themselves inside one at a time, his body arching and moaning with delight.

[](https://imgur.com/abKtWdz)

“I wonder, how long it will keep you holding out for?” John teased, licking his brothers pre ejection off his fingers. “You know even without this, your extremely impressive but damn Gordon...you could have anyone you wanted with a body as magnificent as yours. I'm humbled that you even let me do this.” And with that he started to lick and suck him, kissing and nibbling his thick length, occasionally having to stop to take a breath before moving in again.

He began to time his finger strokes with those of his tongue and found himself smiling on his next breath as he glimpsed how much this was turning Gordon to pure jelly. John had never tried this on Scott and would have suspected if he had it would have been wasted as he only really liked being the one on top. The only reason it was turning Gordon into horny human mush was because he enjoyed the feeling of both being the giver and receiver.

The ring was doing it's job, as Gordon’s hips bucked very little escaped his erect member forcing him to endure the lengthy orgasmic sensations he was experiencing. 

“Uh! Ohhhhh ahhhh uhhhhhaaa! Ahhhh! ughhhh! uh ha ha uh!” Gordon begged as he clutched John’s hair and shoulders. “Oh d-damn John! Where-where did you learn how to do this?!”

When John paused for breath next he nuzzled his brothers still excited body. “I'm learning right now.”

“R-really?” Gordon couldn't hide his surprise as his mind was like a bowl of gooey porridge.

“Mmmmhmm.” he kissed him before standing back up to his full height, holding him by the hand and leading him over to his bed then stripping out of his clothes. Gordon’s brain was still struggling to keep up with what was going on and let out a loud surprised gasp as John rolled protection onto his aching member with his mouth before sitting on the bed and drawing him close.

“W-wait, you want me to?” Gordon stammered as his covered parts pressed up lovingly against his brother's long bare ones.

“Yes. Is there a problem?” John purred in his ear.

“Well I mean I'm not exactly packing like Virgil here…and Penny used to think I wasn't any-”

John’s lips cut him off with a slightly needy kiss and Gordon could taste traces of himself lingering on his tongue. “Let me be the judge of that.”

One slender leg wrapped around Gordon’s hips inviting him to take the plunge.

John leaned backward onto the mattress as his back arched and let ot a sharp whimper as Gordon entered, he had hoped doing it this way would make it easier for him and ease the pain Virgil had left himself in.

It didn't go unnoticed.

“Is it ok?! I didn't mean to-”

“Shhh It's ok.” John managed to say calmly sitting up on his elbows. “Just give me a minute. You're quite wide and I'm not really ready but it's ok. I still want this, still want you...please don't give up just yet.”

John then flopped backwards again his bare skin vividly pale against the dark blue sheets his cheeks a soft pink hue. Gordon felt something wash over him just by how suddenly delicate his older brother looked all exposed and vulnerable to him - and him alone. 

Gordon lifted his brother's other leg high and rested it over his shoulder, kissing it as he began to move his hips. He glanced at John watching his body move with his, his fingers digging deep into the sheets.

He felt so nice to be inside, sure it was a tight fit but it was more snug than anything else, he was the perfect size and shape like a missing piece to an incomplete puzzle. His mind started to wander a little, a part of him wondering what it was like to have done this when his sibling was a little less skeletal looking - but those thoughts were quickly squashed as truth was his brother had never been any other way.

He found his devious smile returning when he could hear John say his name in between purring breaths, so quiet and yet so fitting for someone so broken and scared that they were seeking comfort from someone who had no reason to give any. Ok so Gordon wasn't a monster and wouldn't dare hurt him but the sudden feeling of power he was getting was all he needed to know about how easy it was to abuse his brother's deep desires to be wanted.

He lowered John’s leg and reached down to pull him up, the change in position causing both of them to yelp in mild pleasure as Gordon held him close to his body, a hand sneaking down to stroke his brother's erect member before whispering, “Cum with me, John. Let's do this together.”


	20. Scott's recollection

"So..."

"So." John repeated Scott's words. "You want me to pick the magazine this time?"

"Hmm?"

"I said -"

"I heard." Scott grumbled. "No, I don't think so. Not after dad's talk about catching us with them last week."

"I made sure their was a chair under the door this time. Virgil can't get in again."

"That might not be enough." The sixteen year old sniffed. "Besides, Dad think we're looking at Playboy magazines remember? If he knew we were doing that stuff to those other men's magazines we'd be in so much more trouble."

"I don't think it was that bad Scott." his fifteen year old brother replied. "I mean it had to happen sooner or later right? The birds and the bees?"

"Ergh, don't please, John that's just..."

"You know," John seemed to be thinking aloud as he hunted for the magazines from underneath Scott's bed, "He didn't really specify much - just the standard 'when two people love each other very much' speech they give to kids in those soap operas Grandma likes. Two people could mean anyone right? Not just a man and a woman, but two woman and two men! I mean dad's never been against it so why would he be mad if he knew we were -"

"He just would ok!" Scott huffed, yanking John out from under the bed. "You don't see how much dad assumes I'm going to be just like him! he'll be crushed if he knew I wasn't!"

John frowned. "And what am I? chopped liver?"

"What? No! You're - you're like mum I guess."

The frown stayed. "That's not fair, why am I always like her? Virgil is the bigger girl in this house!" John snorted.

"Because you look like her. Red hair, freckles... everything."

"That's still not fair, Scott." John poked him hard in the chest. "What next? Going to tell me I have her body too?"

"Well no.... yours is a little bit cuter."

"Pfft!" John started laughing and Scott recoiled.

"I'm serious John!" he growled, grabbing hold of his brother's arm and making sure he had his sibling's attention. "You really are cute to me. Ever since we started messing around with those magazines...I..."

John fell quiet. "Really?" he asked curious as to where Scott was going with this. "I thought you didn't want to be masturbating by yourself so you roped me into joining in. That's how we got caught!"

"Well yeah at first.... but I - I mean, it's been weeks now and we've kinda turned it into something else....and I guess watching you I...." he swallowed. "You look good when you entertain yourself."  
John went red. "I - I er... I suppose you do too Scott. I don't know I didn't know I was suppose to be watching you?"

"No, you weren't.... unless.. were you?"

"NO!"

"Right. Sorry for asking." Scott let him go and looked away embarrassed.

"Scott."

"Yeah?"

"You... you know dad said 'Two people right?'"

 

Scott rolled his eyes. "So? your point?"

"Well... we're two people right?" John looked flustered. "He never said we couldn't."

"Couldn't what? Have...sex..." Scott went red at the very idea. "With each other?"

John looked away and tugged at his oversized jumper. "You make it sound like I was suggesting you should eat vomit."

Scott leaned over and rested an arm in John's lap and the other wrapped around him in a hug. "Sorry John. I didn't expect you to say what I was thinking aloud."

"Y-you were?"

"Yeah. I'd... I'd like to try it. I want to know what it feels like."

"I do to but.... you sure it's ok? No one's going to be mad?"

Scott thought for a moment. "I guess we could just try it once and keep it between us. that can't hurt can it?"

"Yeah, I don't think anyone could be mad with that." John agreed. "So where do we start?"

"I guess getting naked would be a start." Scott suggested.

John nodded and both teens stood up and started undressing themselves, Scott pausing every few items of clothing that he discarded to look at his younger brother nervously at how pretty he was. when John glanced back he looked away trying to pretend he wasn't staring at him. a warm feeling was bubbling up inside him with the knowledge that John was checking him out too. That was a good sign, Scott didn't want to be the only one with strange feelings here he wasn't used to.

Once naked, he stood to his full height, a smidge taller than John, thought his younger sibling was going through a growth spurt which meant he wasn't going to be shorter than him much longer - and found himself staring at how different his brother looked, all flushed and embarrassed standing before him.

"You don't look anything like mum." Scott confessed. "You... you look..." he couldn't get the words out, his younger brother looked beautiful beyond them, ethereal and not real. It was strange, he had never thought about him like this before and he had seen him naked hundreds of times. It was if something in his brain switched on and was now taking in details like never before, from the soft light freckles that scattered about his body, the long skinny limbs that looked elegant like a dancers and skin so light that it made his red hair look like the eternal burning flame that was stolen from the gods.  
Then there was those eyes, ones the colour of the ocean - the blue green of the majestic sea, something no one, not even their mother had. Scott could drown in them.  
"Like what?" John went all shy, but there wasn't anywhere to really hide now without any clothes on. "Scott? You ok?"

"Yeah... I'm fine. You just..." Scott reached out a few times but couldn't touch his younger brother in fear he would vanish in a puff of smoke. He couldn't hide his nervousness and hesitation, unable to close the gap between them like he was usually able to do but now....

Now John was more than just his brother. He was something else.

Then it happened.

John grabbed one of those hesitating outstretched hands and stepped into Scott's personal space and kissed him, softly like he was about to flee if Scott pulled away.

No way was Scott going to let him run.

Scott brought his arms around his younger brother and kissed him back, tasting the sweet flavors of John's thin lips and nuzzling his nose against his affectionately till John seemed to relax and embrace him back, fingers lightly running down his back and even one hand teasing his backside.

Scott could smell his younger brother's scent of peppermints on his breath and the sweetest of spearmints from his hair, both intoxicating and making him want to explore him further and more intimately than ever before. The way he was pressed against him was sending his brain crazy, his erect member caressing against John's was enough to make him want to cum before they got started.

He started pushing his brother, forcing him to step backward and fall onto the bed, where he then started to assault his younger brother's lithe body with kisses, tasting every inch of milky white freckled skin while using his hands to play and tease him the way he learnt by watching John when they masturbated together over the adult magazines.

His brother looked beautiful how he arched in response and how his body stretched and withered under him, the mop of flame red hair like paint bleeding onto his bright blue sheets.

If only he knew how magical he looked.

Scott shifted his brother's legs apart and lay between them, still kissing and caressing him so he could hear the little noises of enjoyment that was being elicited from his lips before he lifted them upward a little so he could fill him.

The shock John felt by the invasion was intense, Scott had to restrain himself from pulling out as his younger brother's fingers dug deep into his skin and his teeth sinking into the soft flesh of his neck.

Oh hot damn, John was a biter.

And Scott loved it.

He slowly moved his hips into his brother's begging body, John's hips moving in time with them and as he pulled in and out he watched how much his sibling looked like he was in ecstasy, the shivering of his body evident as he held onto Scott tight and tried to bury his head into his shoulders to muffle any yelps and cries of excitement.

Fuck, John felt really good.

He could feel those long legs wrap around his waist to push him in further and he was more than happy to oblige, even if it meant having John's teeth sink into his shoulder again before letting out a loud purring moan which was enough to make Scott cum deep within him, the sound was like a signal that his brother couldn't take anymore.

Scott wanted to collapse ontop of his brother in a heap, energy fully spent but held firm on the sheets, watching John still whimper and breathe heavily under him. When John's arms started to slip from his sweaty shoulders he knew he was spent too.

Scott nuzzled him till his brother let out an exhausted laugh. "How did that feel Scott?" He panted out.  
He smiled as he met the curious gaze of his sibling. "Amazing." He kissed John before pulling out and standing to drink his brother in who didn't seem inclined to move from his sprawled position. "You look so wonderful too, even now."

John's arms reached up. "You we're awesome too. Like a knight in shining armour taking his prize from his princess."

"Heh well I prefer this prince infront of me instead." Scott grinned crawling back onto the bed to snuggle with his beautiful brother.

Scott awoke and groaned. Every night since John had almost burned himself alive from that shed explosion and the realization he was a drug addict he kept dreaming about how his younger brother used to be the most beautiful thing in the world, how he willingly gave himself to him without any questions asked. After such a long time Scott never realized how much damage that first time and onwards had done to John, the skeletal, drunk and high as a kite sibling who was on the verge of falling off the wall of sanity to be eaten by monsters that Scott helped to create. He glanced over at the sleeping form of Virgil and wondered, "What if I've screwed Virgil up too?"

He dreaded to think of the answer.


	21. Ignition point

John couldn’t sleep. After the day - heck - the night he had he should be rightfully stuffed and in agony with his muscles but the last of the marijuana in his system was making him feel like it didn’t exist and that he should make the most of the time by himself to think about things.

Pity the only thing he could think about was ‘topping’ himself.

Tracy Island bike. Yup that was him alright…. And to his OWN brothers no less.

Dad would be rolling over in his grave, hell Mum would be…. But then they didn’t seem to have much to do with him growing up did they? Always pushing him out the way because Scott and his other brother’s were more important.

Well almost. Gordon wasn't too far behind him in the unpopularity stakes around the house and John couldn’t quite put his finger on why either.

He looked up from his black as night, strong enough to kill a dog coffee as he heard footsteps and looked back at his hot drink. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Scott who for some reason seemed to be prowling around the kitchen unable to sleep like he was.

Misery apparently needed company.

Eventually, Scott sat one seat down from John and pretended to stare out the large kitchen windows. John let out a sigh.

“You and Virgil look… happy together.” He admitted. “Guess you're better off now, huh?”

Silence.

John looked back at his coffee. “Been thinking about drug rehab and maybe therapy. Not sure if either will help but have to give it a shot…. Though being left alone by myself to deal with it might not work I mean, it's how I ended up this way.”

He glared at his drink hoping the blackness in the cup would swallow him but no such luck. “M-Maybe less workload and giving myself something else to do? I don't know…time off would be good…that's if you'd consider it. I'm not going to crash your holiday - I know when I'm not wanted or invited but more than twice a month at home could be a start.”

“Couldn't hurt.” 

John waited to see if there was more but Scott seemed to give him the cold shoulder, sticking his head down to focus on the newspaper he lay in front of him.

“The rehab or less workload?”

“Not crashing the holiday. Infact how about you stay here instead of Penelope’s party? You're not exactly invited.”

John blinked and looked slightly gobsmacked. Scott continued without looking up. 

“You're a lost cause John. Who the hell will help you if you clearly can't do it yourself? Maybe if you show you can I’ll give you a better answer but right now you don't deserve one.” Scott spoke with dark tones. “I picked myself up and moved on. You need to do the same.”

John looked back at his coffee and the two of them sat in silence. It didn't matter if Scott was in the room now - John felt alone and completely shut out, more so than he had ever been. To be on the teetering edge of a breakdown and left to find his own way to redemption was going to be a dangerous road especially since John knew what it was like to try and help other people on the brink from the other perspective. The lack of care Scott gave about the matter would never have flown if he was the one whose job it was to play on the spot grief counseling. 

“Fine.” He said eventually. “But if I do this on my own and come out smelling of flowers, you're going to do an entire year up on Thunderbird Five doing ALL MY JOBS to learn exactly how HARD a job it really is.” he also glared down at his older sibling. “I’m going to that party, by the way.” He curled his lip back in a sharp snarl. ‘Even if it's only to prove that you made a HUGE MISTAKE.”

And with that he turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen, only to realise he didn't actually own anything he could wear to a party. He was going to have to raid Alan’s wardrobe… and that was going to be rather limiting in what would fit. 

It didn't matter. All that mattered right now was proving to Scott he was just as important as he was.


	22. Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse spelling mistakes and missed words. I have been a bit sick and missed a few....

Penny prided herself on her dress sense and those of her guests and took Scott by the arm and lead him into the mansion towards the garden, impressed by his baby blue suit, leaving Virgil in a black tux and Gordon who Scott joked ‘looked like a servant’ dressed in his white shirt and red and black vest and dress pants - which for Gordon was quite smart - to get Penny immediately onside with him in hopes she would still be interested in going on the Tibetan holiday with Gordon as a couple despite the ‘unmentionable behavior’ he suspected he had engaged himself in with John. After all, Gordon was being unusually affectionate to the redhead and Scott held no reservations that he was the crutch that was keeping John stable - or given value thereof.

Remove that, his brother with crumble like the pathetic waste of space he was.

It wasn't to be nasty as such, it was to put John in his place.

Virgil watched the other guests for a few minutes before turning to Gordon who looked like he wanted to explode.

“Hey, at least your not in love with Penny anymore and having to watch this.” He said with a hesitant smile. “Watching Scott schmooze is painful.”

“After the other night, anything involving Scott is painful.” Gordon snorted, he brow knotting and his amber brown eyes looked like they glowed of that of a dangerous predator.

“I can't imagine anything involving John isn't either.”

Gordon snapped out of his disgruntled state to look down at his dress shoes. “I didn't think I'd fall for him you know? I just wanted to help make things better.”

“Instead you made it worse.”

Gordon growled and pulled Virgil down to met him face to face, his voice low, “You didn't help either! You couldn't keep your damn hands to just Scott now could you!? NOOO!” He spat as he hissed ferociously. “You had to take a chance on John’s confused vulnerability! Your WORSE THAN ME!”

“Uh, Gordon… everyone's looking at us.” 

Gordon let Virgil go and tried to play it down to those around them. “He just told me I lost a bet and I didn't believe him, it's ok folks!” he took a deep breath once eyes were diverted elsewhere. And diverted they were.

Alan had finally arrived with Kayo and Brains, Alan having permission to drive FAB 0 to chauffer them to the party. A pink flying Rolls Royce tend to take the attention of everyone as it flies over head and lands on the lawn.

They were not the only ones to step out of the car. A few people - Scott included - had to do a double take with the third passenger who got out the vehicle. 

It looked like a young, tall, sleek and sexy David Bowie had gotten out the car - which was impossible since the singer himself died several decades ago. Credit had to be given to Kayo’s skills with a makeup brush and Alan’s obsession with retro looking outfits as what stepped out with them screamed superstar material.

John had to admit, he felt like a million dollars. The upside was Brains had snuck in a face scrambler in the neck of the reflective blue/purple spacey figure hugging t-shirt so even though John hated crowds, he for once, had no reason to fear this one. No one was going to remember who he was or what he looked like, as no one was ever going to be able to take a clear picture.

Enochlophobia be damned! He had been suffering from it ever since their mother's funeral to varying degrees but not tonight! No - he was going to fight the urge to hide in the shadows, the place reserved for him…

Tonight, he was going to be in the light.

“Holy hell fire! Get a load of that!” Virgil had waded through the crowd and elbowed Scott who was staring like a gasping fish. “No need for a suit when you are sex on legs huh?”

Scott shut his maw and glared at Virgil as if his eyes were like lasers. “It's formal attire isn't it? That means he can't enter dressed like that!”

Gordon brushed passed them and gave them a cocky smirk as he did so. “When you're the performer you can wear whatever you want.”

“WHAT!? SINCE WHEN?!” Scott growled with venom, grabbing Gordon’s vest roughly by the collar. 

“Since Kayo told Penny he could sing. Try to keep up Scotty. Not everything has to go through you.” 

Scott sneered and shoved Gordon out of his way before pushing his way through the bemused crowd till he was standing in front of the other gawping party guests ready to grab John and drag him aside when no one was watching. 

A firm grip on Scott’s shoulder stopped him in mid track. “Ease up Scooter. Gordon’s right, don’t be such a spoilsport. It’s so unbecoming of you.” Virgil whispered sarcastically. “Relax... you might enjoy the show.” Sniggering as his grip dug in a little deeper to make a point, but not quite moving because Virgil didn’t trust Scott to not completely lose it right there and then. 

Scott’s angry gaze met Virgil’s own, a silent standoff between lovers. Eventually Scott sighed and looked away albeit still angry. He knew deep down that he still owed Virgil an official apology for not coming clean about his previous relationship with John. Hell, he hadn’t even begun to scratch the surface in trying and set things right between them again. Still, anger bubbled deep within his guts. 

“That’s it, play nice Scott. Wouldn’t want to ruin tonight for Penny now would we?” Virgil said still whispering, as he smirked and cocked his brow up for good measure. It wasn’t often that Virgil could get his oldest brother to back down like this. Scott’s enormous ego almost never allowed it.

Tonight Virgil decided was going to be very interesting. 

 

John hadn't noticed Scott, he was too busy trying to maintain smiling around so many strangers. He couldn't keep this up forever and thanks to Kayo, his ticket into this place was going to involve more of it - probably undivided attention - while he was supposedly being ‘Penny’s replacement singer’. Parker was quick to lead him over to where Lady Penelope was seated, on a loveseat adorned with roses. John had caught the stares of other woman at the party already and it was no surprise that the hostess wanted to make a point to them all that this ‘shiny new plaything’ was hers alone. 

Boy was she going to be disappointed.

“So… Kayo tells me you can sing.” She purred.

“Yes, m’lady.” John said meekly. Shit, he had not expected to be trapped with her having small talk pretending it's all intimate and romantic between them. He glanced up and caught Gordon’s gaze from the buffet table and he looked a mix of affronted horror. It's as if…

Over by the wine tastings, Virgil was trying hard to keep Scott’s attention, but John noticed he smiled everytime he looked over. 

Oh heck no! I'm not going to be your patsy!

With a large chunk of Penny’s high society's finest party goers watching her show off how easily she could make any man succumb to her beautiful charms, John did something that made a lot of pregnant pauses, intakes of breath and one lady faint.

Later that year at other parties on the socialists calendar this moment was mocked, ridiculed and used to put Penelope back in her place everytime she got on her high horse. Days from now it was still going to have Scott livid in rage and stomping around thinking up nasty little things to torture John with and this event was going to make Gordon’s mind up about what he really wanted his relationship with his sibling to be.

All John was thinking though in that split second where he got up, grabbed the young male waiter and kissed him to shut Penelope up was that ‘This guy is like licking wad of butter off a knife!’

John pulled a face and made a dash for the wine table, sculled the first drink he could grab then spat it out, hitting a furious Scott in the face with it all.

‘Yuck! Apple cider? You couldn't have got something more drinkable like drops on the rocks could you?’ He coughed and gagged, sending everyone around him in a flurry of hysterics. This was not how parties were supposed to go but this was far better entertainment than the guests had expected, a moment and a quote to remember until the next embarrassing party they were stuck at.

Scott wiped the cider off his face with one hand furiously, Virgil noticed the other was balled in a fist ready to strike. 

“Okay...” Virgil chimed, both hands swiftly on Scott’s shoulders turning him away from John before muttering something in his ears. Scott rolled his eyes exasperated, crossed his arms and sulked liked a child, back against his younger brothers. 

“Nice move John back there, with the ah... whole... never mind.” Virgil whispered to his other brother, suddenly a little flushed with thoughts of having those elegant limbs wrapped around him again occupying his immediate thoughts. He coughed nervously as he caught Gordon glaring at him again.

“You might wanna...” Virgil pointed at the general direction in which John could escape the crowd. John didn’t seem to follow in his nervousness that the crowd was still raptured by his every move. But from the way Gordon was already moving towards John to help, he knew Gordon would. They just needed...

“Hey Scott?” As Scott sulked but nonetheless turned to look at Virgil, the oldest Tracy found his face at the losing end of his boyfriend’s killer left hook. 

The crowd gasped as the momentum threw Scott to the floor. “And that...” Virgil shouted dramatically, trying so hard not to burst out laughing. “...is for losing my Rolex at your stupid Poker Night! You fucking prick!” He adjusted his tux and turned heel, hoping Gordon would capitalize on the distraction. 

Virgil went off in search of some ice for his left hand, but God did it felt good to sink one into Scott. He certainly had it coming to him for a while now. Virgil hid his laugh behind his right hand, frowning as he pushed through the crowd gathering to ogle at Scott, grateful that his theatrical classes one semester long ago had finally came in handy.

Any courage John had up till now was gone, he was desperate to get the hell out of there before either Penelope or Scott killed him with their bare hands.

Something grabbed him in the confusion and pulled him along away from the kafuffle that was unfoldinging with Penelope screeching in the background over the ruckus and towards the house and John just allowed himself to be dragged along until they reached the safety of the stairwell indoors.

For the first time John got a look at his savior, even if it was the back of his head. 

“Gordon?” John breathed out heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

“Shh. Not out of the woods yet. They're going to search this place looking for you and have you thrown off the premises for what you did!” Gordon flashed his mischievous smile. “That was fucking ace though, Johnny. Penny damn deserved it.”

“What are we going to do? Can't exactly hide. They'll eventually find us.”

“Ohhh there's one place they won't DARE look. Come on! This way!” Gordon tugged John up the stairs and along towards a room tucked neatly in a corner.

It was a ladies boudoir, specifically one who loved the colour pink - and not the soft pink of the rest of the mansion either. Everything was lacey, everything smelled of a choking perfume of roses.

But the pink… who decorates everything in FUSHA? 

It was sickly and reminded John of Barbie dolls he use to bury in the garden so Kayo couldn't torment him with them when he was six. Luckily with five step brothers, she grew out of that fast.

But this…

“You haven't seen nothing yet.” Gordon sighed slapping his brother on the back. “Everything she wears in her ‘fun time wear’ is this colour.”

“And you and her?”

“Mostly her.” Gordon shrugged. “Was just a toy. Only person allowed to enjoy it was her. “Do you know, she used to dress me in this awful colour while I pleased her? Lace and ribbons fucking itch.”

“I… I guess it was hard to picture it when you told me.” John was honest. Something like this needed to be seen to be believed in regards to Lady Penelope and Gordon. It wasn't enough for him to say it was a disaster from the get go.

“Well at least they won't look for you in here.. At least until Penny goes to bed. And we could strike it lucky if she tries her luck with one of her guests.”

John’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Gordon nodded sadly. “Yes, really. I wasn't the only one.”

“Gordon…”

“It's ok though.” Gordon perked up. “I finally made up my mind… with what I want.”

“Oh? And that is?”

Gordon reached up and pulled John into a kiss and held it there for as long as he could.

When they parted, Gordon couldn't help himself. He became all shy and was nervously laughing. “You taste of cheap alcohol.”

“Better than the weed though? I'd take that as an improvement.”

“You know, this colour reminds me of those stupid war games dad tried to get us to play… what was the god of lust?”

“Slannesh.”

“That's the one. What a cult to join though! Never understood why it was always woman converting men though. They're too smart to be cultist.”

John laughed as he showerd Gordon with kisses. “Damn Gordon. You were wasted on her…. And me.”

Gordon pressed a finger to John’s wandering lips as they started down his neck. “Then show me your worth my time.”


End file.
